Is a dad buying necessary underwear for his pre-pubescent daughter weird?

[Dadinhove]

I have my 11 yr old daughter 50% of the time. I bough her an extra first bra (same size and brand as existing) for her hols with me. Her mother thinks it’s “wholly inappropriate for me, father to my child, to be buying her underwear and gas threatened to take matters further if I do it again. Am I missing something? What on earth is wrong with a dad buying his daughter necessary underwear like this? Would love to know if in fact I am being unreasonable/ in appropriate.

And how do you choose between S/M/L without checking the size?

My Dad used to buy period products for us all the time, he had 3 daughters and was the cook in our house, yes I also had a Mum but they both worked full time. My Dad would rip the lid off whatever box we had at home so he could get the right ones. This was in the 80s.

A bra is just the same to me. If I needed the exact same one and he could get it he would have. Nothing weird or sexual about it. It is just material.

Whose boundary? I just bought an exact copy size and fit and my DD is fine with me buying her stuff. Are you actually my DDs mother?

My dad brought a bra home for me when I was about 13 and I was mortified. Firstly because he bought the smallest size in the store, something like 28AA and secondly because I was as flat as the ironing board. I’d say ask your daughter what she thinks about it, not anyone else.

Wow…this started something and I appreciate all the comments folks..even those which I don’t totally agree with. It’s been a huge comfort knowing that the vast majority think I’m just being a responsible dad. Importantly, my DD is totally cool with it at the moment. I know in just a couple of years that could and will change and I’m not blind to that fact but I’ve always been sensitive to that. Stay happy people. X😉

Yet to find out what she meant by taking matters further- sounds like an idle threat from a control freak. I’m tempted to say “bring it on” 😉

She wasn’t with me at the time it was a last minute holiday clothing rush!

If you’re not a lawyer or family liaison officer you should be! 😉

So the DM thought one bra was sufficient ?

Well done Dad.

None of these actually. I took a photo of the label so I could go to M&S on my own and simply replicate. That’s all

Which is actually scenario 1 if I had actually paid attention

I don't see what the problem is these days. It's not the 1950s. If it was a straight forward replacement or addition to what she already has then so what.

Presumably she would say so if she wanted to go herself.

Been reading all the comments.

My father treated me like I was a dirty freak
once I started to go through puberty. So much so that I recall him lifting my box of tampons from the bathroom shelf and hurling them into my bedroom at me telling me they were to stay out of sight.

What I would have given for a dad like you. Keep loving her and providing for her through every stage of life.

what's weird? Is it weird for a Mother to buy pants for her Son?

Why? He literally bought exactly the same bra she already had. Don't be ridiculous.

Taking her to a shop to have a stranger get her the same bra she already has just to embarass her? Absolutely not.

Sorry for whst you went through. Thanks for your kind words x

My DH took DD bra shopping - not in the actual cubicle but dropped her off to be measured. Went for walk around store until summonsed to pay.
I'm pretty sure he'd pick up an identical one himself if pointed in the right direction.

Can't see what the problem is.

I imagine @ScrollingLeaves would have an attack of the vapours, if she learned that many dads also wash their daughter's bras and knickers.

All this responsible parenting is too much.

<< Faints dramatically >>

perfectly normal, it may also be a good idea to get some sanitary wear to go in the bathroom. You don’t need to make a big deal out of it or announce it anywhere it just needs to be accessible so she can use them without having to ask.

Especially with tea-towels in the same wash.😀

My teens love taunting their dad in the primark underwear section. Majority of the sets they buy are bralette+thong.

We are a pretty open family though, always have been.

@ScrollingLeaves

of course it's not inappropriate. All he has done is ordered (probably online) one exactly the same as she already has!

FFS

@Dadinhove

you haven't done anything wrong. If you weren't buying clothes/shoes/underwear for her, your Ex would be the first to complain.

if you're not already onto it, buy a few sanitary products & put them in the bathroom cabinet, tell DD they're there & to let you know if she has 'any special requests' (do the Dad thing in the Milky Way Kid way 😂)

you're her Dad, Dads have to step up (like you are). Even in non separated households Dads often do the shopping these days.

tell the daft mate it's 2024, not 1954 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

100% the best way you could have done that. Met your daughters needs in the most straight forward way and least embarrassing for both of you.

Her mother's reaction is disgraceful.