Is a dad buying necessary underwear for his pre-pubescent daughter weird?

[Dadinhove]

I have my 11 yr old daughter 50% of the time. I bough her an extra first bra (same size and brand as existing) for her hols with me. Her mother thinks it’s “wholly inappropriate for me, father to my child, to be buying her underwear and gas threatened to take matters further if I do it again. Am I missing something? What on earth is wrong with a dad buying his daughter necessary underwear like this? Would love to know if in fact I am being unreasonable/ in appropriate.

It’s a bra. There’s nothing wrong with buying one if she needs one. How else are single dads meant to do it. Should single mums not buy their sons boxers or briefs then because they’re a boy. Honestly this world is crazy. It’s underwear.

Not weird at all! And I really hope you ignore the comments stating otherwise here. You are her father!

I can only assume you have neither a dad nor a daughter.

It's not weird.

I think theres something rather sad and wrong if you feel that way.

No boundaries crossed, it’s her dad. In nicest way, i think you need to really have an internal think.
if theres no difference with boys why is this an issue?
really sad you feel this way.
dads should be buying underwear, sanitary items and never think like this.
what do you think single dads do?
i get pissed off when family members have their kids and the dads do not buy anything for their daughters. Its ridiculous.

Ridiculous.

I buy underwear for my 16 year old. I suppose you think that is a problem too.

PS its not

I'm a dad. I have a DS and a DD. I bought them both underwear as needed. I don't believe it caused the downfall of civilisation nor did it apparently scar either of them for life. I've also bought toilet roll (did you know it's actually used to WIPE ARSEHOLES 😮), pads, makeup, a bazillion different kinds of shampoo and conditioner, hot chocolate for when my DD has her period and encouraged her to see the GP when she was having bad period pains.

It's called "parenting".

DH folds our 13yo DD laundry. She wouldn't want to buy underwear with DH. But I'm sure she wouldn't even noticed if DH bought more of the same and put them in her drawers. The OP is 50/50 so someone has to make sure the 11yo has clean underwear. If the ex isn't happy the OP buys underwear, then maybe she should make sure the child takes enough underwear and sanitary products from mums and takes them back to wash.

I would think the OP also does those laundry too. Soon he'd have to deal with sanitary products.

It's all just being part of a parent.

I don't have DSs but I'd imagine I'll have to buy and do laundry for sons too. And they'll just be equally embarrased about talking to me about it. (Similar to girls to their fathers).

If you are right, and it's different, then you should be able to explain why it's different. So, why is it different?

Are a boy's penis, testicles and anus less private than a girl's breasts.... Is that it?

Threads like that will only make men more mysoginist than open to understanding women. The bloke being just a father is accused of possible breach of what you said again?

Of course it is absolutely fine and appropriate for a Dad to buy his daughter underwear, bras, sanitary protection etc. How the hell do single fathers do it otherwise??

My older brother took me for my first bra, I didn't want to go with DM. I am sure lots of MN's would positively faint at that. They also used to buy sanitary wear if needed and they were going to the shops. Age wise all my brothers could have been my Dad! Big age gaps. My Dad was also extremely relaxed by buying all these things. I basically had 4 Dad's.

Did you tell him to just do the same thing he would do with any other blood? No special advice needed.

My dp looks after his dd with severe sn, you do everything for her, this includes period care etc. honestly it's no big deal, it's just care - thankfully for his ex he didn't think I don't have to deal with this because I'm male. Consequently unlike most male partners he knows his away around the sanitary aisle and is good with stains

@MissPeaches DH would have washed it with hot water because that's what he does with everything. I think it's not actually obvious. I don't deal with bloodied clothes often except period blood.

I don’t have daughters but (as their mum) I buy my sons’ underwear and toiletries.

When I was a teenager I had a very tricky relationship with my mum. Felt much closer to my dad. When I started my periods I told him first.

Does that make me weird too?

Some women are genuinely hesitant about men picking out underwear for women or shopping (or - much more so - just hanging out) in the women's lingerie department so that could be a factor in the wife's reaction. But just buying the exact same things she has in what's still her size doesn't seem intimate in any way; he could easily have ordered them online.

The fact that she threatened to take matters further is intriguing. Is she planning a bra fatwa?

He picks up bras for you as an adult? Christ I love my Dad to bits but I'd be so weirded out if he did this 🤣

Absolutely - I take a stupid size I don’t care who buys my bras or what my bras look like. If anyone in the family sees one in my size on sale they get them for me, my mum, my dad, my brothers, my MIL.
I will edit to say what I mean by stupid- I have a 14 inch difference between bust and under bust. Stood up, when I do the bend 90 degrees as advocated by boob or bust it’s more like 20 inches difference.

All that matters is how your daughter feels about it.

But she is no doubt influenced by parents.

Her mum going on about it being "inappropriate " is ridiculous and damaging.

It's a piece of material. 11yos are children not teens. Mine is still walking round the house naked.

Nothing wrong with it at all - if the mum is that concerned she needs to make sure she supplies your dd with enough to bring to your house. Same with sanitary products etc.

It's totally normal. I think scrolling leaves might actually be the ex wife.....the only person here who thinks this is an issue.

I think in your position I would have kept out of it.

My DD is older now, but my DH would not be looking in her bra labels and buying them. My DD would think it weird if he had.

She would have been fine wearing the same bra all week anyway.

Nobody fitted her he went to shop and brought an identical bra to the one she had just like picking up the same deodorant.....there is no talk of changing rooms etc.