What to take to prison 2

[drinkswineoutofamug]

Not a great title but can't think of anything catching this time of the morning. Will figure out how to link to the old thread.

12th July!! Luckily we both work and can support him but how on earth people manage with no support I do not know!
Thanks trying my best but he is becoming more miserable and sullen as the days go on.
I feel so sad again. I thought we were getting somewhere.

Hello @drinkswineoutofamug

So much love to you, Lonely, Ruby, Tiny and anyone else reading the thread. You are all amazing and your family members are lucky to have you.

Drinks it's nice DD has got her tag but I hope she is behaving and complying and not causing you too much of a headache.

Sorry I've not been on the thread for a while, RL has been hectic.

Drinks a few days ago you asked me about my offending behaviour? No need to apologise. At all. I've always tried to be open and honest on this thread (and RL), whilst also being mindful and not wanting to upset anybody with my experiences from the other side of the wall. Also don't want to me-rail the thread.

My three prison sentences were all alcohol related. Some drugs but mostly alcohol. The first one was very short and a nasty shock. But with the arrogance of every addict I continued on my destructive path and then served two sentences very closely together - 8 months and 12 months, so it was pretty much 2 years continuous.

What made me stop? I always knew my behaviour was bad, but I kept making excuses for it. It wasn't my fault, it was because of X happening in my past, or Y circumstance, or my addiction, or my MH. I did tons of rehab in jail which addresses all of those issues but deep down I still didn't believe it was my fault!

It was only on my third prison sentence that I just got sick of it.

Sick of being locked up, sick of being told what to do, sick of being bored, sick of the pettiness, sick of missing my kids, my family and my dogs, sick of seeing my dad cry every time he saw me in the visits hall, sick of my mum's bright but fake smile on visits, sick of missing birthdays, christmases, mothers days...... the list goes on

I had to accept responsibility for my own actions and it wasn't a light bulb moment, more of a progressive one. I've been out for nearly two years now and have rebuilt a completely new life for myself and my kids. The support of my family was crucial though. The women I met who had no support - well it's heartbreaking.

I'm sorry for that long essay and you deserve a medal if you haven't nodded of by now! I'm sorry for the me-rail and I'm sorry if I've upset anyone.

You are all amazing

cat xx

cat I think YOU are amazing! How you have turned your life around. You are a credit to your children and the support you have offered here, I am forever grateful 😘

Your input has been very helpful Cat thank you🤗
Holdfast everyone

Thanks for sharing your experiences Cat x

Morning everyone.
Trying to get in touch with the tag box people. Daughter has been getting phone calls off people offering her insurance etc through the box! They have a 24 hr phone line but no bugger answers

I ended up reading this thread by accident. This stood out for me:

This thread is to support the other victims, the families.
Our lives are ripped apart. The shame of having a family member in prison. The guilt, grieving for what could of been and what has been lost.

I'm on the third side of this, a bomb was detonated in my life when my SiL (and a best friend of over 15 years) was killed along with her (awesome) DH, leaving their 2 dc orphans. I've run the gamut from hate to pity towards the man who's irresponsible choices caused so much pain, the damage he did was incalculable.

Throughout it all though, I've never had less than respect for his Mother. How that lady maintained her dignity is a mystery to me, her strength and honour in the face of what happened was inspirational to see - none of us has ever blamed or condemned her, we hurt for her. She did her best to raise him right and he chose not to take advantage of that, he also chose not to learn from a significant stint behind bars...that on him!

The shame shouldn't be shared with the families who only ever tried their best, it belongs to the person who chose badly and the services who failed them (where applicable)

Andro Very, very well said.

Andro thank you , I'm sorry for your loss.

That's so sad Andro. Thankyou For your kindness.

It is now three weeks since our living nightmare began. My step brother is now able to call, and I feel a mixture of relief having heard from him, but also having him cry down the phone is hard to hear. I am visiting him next week.

Crucially, my dad has spoken to him and will also be visiting him and when he was initially arrested said he absolutely wouldn't. I got really upset at that so it has tested our relationship too but good progress I guess.

Lots of love to everyone here

Evening all. My daughter has run out of her anti dick head meds and is drinking again. Can't get a doctors appointment till the 13th July. She's vile when she's had a drink. Think I'm about to explode with all the fuck wittery going on in chez drinks.

That's good progress lonely .

Sorry if I was a grumpy assed made last night 😒

*mare

Sorry Drinks, hoping your dd gets her meds soon. X

That just sounds like hell. You weren't grumpy - just rightfully pissed off.

I have had a terrible night worrying about DB. I'm finding it hard rationalising how I feel about what he did, with the fact that I love him and am very concerned for his welfare. I am a ball of anxiety at the moment.

Drinks, are the meds not on repeat prescription? Or does she have to go for a review every time? I ask because when the GP/Chemist fcked mine up once I rang GP, got nowhere. Rang back in a panic, explained what side effects I would have if no pills (weekend was approaching) and eventually they gave me the emergency slot. I bet they all have one.
I know you are on top of this so apologies if am talking rubbish, the situations are different I know.
Take care.

Lonelystarbuckslover - you can love the person and still loathe their actions, you can also firmly believe they deserve x (in your DB's case to be locked up) but not y (to be in physical danger). That kind of head screwing complexity is part of being family.

Further down the line, if your DB accepts the consequences of his actions, learns from them and works to rebuild his life, respecting the strength it takes to do so is in no way condoning his actions - it's quite rightly giving him the chance to be more than the sum of his mistakes.

The meds were prescribed by the prison doctor. So she needs to see her own HP

Gp ffs

She's cut her tag off and left. So will wait for the police or whoever to come round.

Oh @drinkswineoutofamug

Huge hug for you (and a bop on the nose for DD)

And Andro sorry it's late but what an insightful post

Oh at which point do I say enough is enough? 😞 I've tried and each time have it thrown back but I keep going back for more. She's my daughter. I can't help myself wanting to help her. She had a huge argument with her dad. Told us that prison was better than living here with us. We had put a stop to her mates coming round every night wanting to sit in the back garden till all hours. She has no respect for us. So told her to take care, and she left.

@drinkswineoutofamug I really don't know. It's got to be a balance of tough love and support?? But where is that line drawn x