Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Victims of crime

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. For free advice contact Victim Support.https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/

What to take to prison 2

609 replies

drinkswineoutofamug · 25/04/2018 08:21

Not a great title but can't think of anything catching this time of the morning. Will figure out how to link to the old thread.

OP posts:
drinkswineoutofamug · 04/07/2018 22:25

Tag people have just been. The lady was nice actually and said she would sort so the box doesn't ring all night. The info gets sent to London and then she gets a recall. Will serve the next 9 days, 9 fucking days in prison. That's all she had left. 9 days 🤬

OP posts:
tinytemper66 · 05/07/2018 06:45

Drinks 😘💐 My son is calmer this week but I am still unsure what, if anything is going on! His Universal Credit still hasn't come after they closed his account without us knowing. Don't know if that moths or so will be repaid despite me complaining.
I am now his appointee with all his benefits. We are also going for power of attorney so we have full control over his money so he cannot be pressured into giving over large amounts (has happened before). Despite this his social worker doesn't think he is as vulnerable as I think he is! I think she believes I am too protective and is not letting him be independent.
He has some independence but he will never manage living independently. She just didn't get it.
We are looking into anger management with Mind and I am contacting them today.
Stay strong and safe x

drinkswineoutofamug · 06/07/2018 22:47

She's just turned up as if nothing has happened. I'm too tired to deal with it now. Finished a 6 day stretch, will deal with her in the morning😒

OP posts:
Lonelystarbuckslover · 08/07/2018 16:56

Sorry drinks it is relentless isn't it.

Hope you're ok tiny

I visited DB yesterday for the first time. It was good to give him a cuddle and talk about the same old stuff we talk about. Really concerned he's harming himself though - fresh cuts all over his arms. Heartbreaking.

tinytemper66 · 08/07/2018 18:14

Other than the UC nonsense he has had a good week. But am on edge in case something sets him off. Could t get through to MIND in local area so going to email them tomorrow.
I hope you both have a better week xxxx
Hope your brother gets some help x
Drinks I hope things with your daughter can be sorted. X

Lonelystarbuckslover · 08/07/2018 18:58

I don't really know what I can do to get him help. He has a mental health support worker, but he doesn't like him - which the bloke isn't there to be liked, and the bloke probably gets pissed off with his job so it's not going to be like the counselling I access privately. Nevertheless, I can't imagine that bodes well.

I think the thing I'm finding hardest is not knowing how DB is. I can cope with this as long as I know he's safe.

catinboots9 · 09/07/2018 00:33

@drinkswineoutofamug has DD been recalled yet?

drinkswineoutofamug · 09/07/2018 08:14

No she hasn't, her 'release' date is Thursday. I'm wondering if they can't see the point for 4 days inside 🤷🏻‍♀️
Glad you got to see your brother lonely it's a relief, was it as bad as you thought. tiny good luck with Mind and the other services, beware it can be a mine field .

OP posts:
Lonelystarbuckslover · 09/07/2018 10:25

No it wasn't as bad as I thought, on two levels. I write the next paragraphs for the benefit of future lurkers:

It's a category B men's prison where DB is on remand.

Waited in a visitors centre. Full of women and children mainly, presumably off to see their Dads. Little girls in their best party dresses.

The worst bit is definitely security - seeing signs about babies being searched, aggressive pat downs - similar to the airport but more suspicious. This is the first time since this whole debacle kicked off that I felt like I had committed a crime too. There's a lot of agitation from the women - there was no properties officer so they couldn't leave their fellas their suits for upcoming court appearances and they are struggling with their kids with so much waiting around. It was really eye opening in terms of the emotional and physical Labour this involves. Once we got to one of the gates to be let in the canteen type room, the mood lightened.

When we got in there, we sat down and the time flew just talking with my DB. I wish we were seeing him under any other circumstance but I'll take this over not seeing him at all. The mood was lighter than I had imagined. I don't think any of the families or inmates notice anyone else in the room - they're all just focused on their own visitor. We had a cuppa and my DB inhaled crisps, fizzy pop and a cake. 10 minutes before the end, they come and tell you to wrap it up. It's strict but I guess it has to be. We hugged him and we left. On the way out, we heard another family on about the football - they told us the score and said a guard had updated them having been asked by the family for an update - just to give you an idea of the relative light heartedness.

We got a taxi to the city centre and went y watch the end of the England game and a much needed stiff drink.

It was good to see and give my brother a hug. I hadn't seen him for a month. Am booking my next visit ASAP.

drinkswineoutofamug · 09/07/2018 21:00

@Mc180768 if your about, advice needed please. So daughter cut off her tag last Thursday, tag people came out that night for tag tamper. I spoke to her probation worker who said she will be recalled and finish her sentence in jail. Tonight tag people came again. Still no daughter. They said she will be recalled as well. My question is , her sentence release date is this Thursday, still no warrant out for her, can't get hold of her probation officer, will they bother to arrest her for breach of license? Will she get resentenced? The tag person didn't have a clue either. I've got a box that alarms every night at 7:15 & sounds like a fire alarm.

OP posts:
Mc180768 · 10/07/2018 14:10

Hi drinks, apologies for delay. I'm having a catch up with events.

If no current warrant out for her, liklihood is it a pointless exercise sending her back to prison given her sentence expires on Thursday.

However, she could be recalled under her 12-month supervision licence if that has not expired.

Can you remember on your last thread that you asked re the two licences? One is a sentence licence and one is a post-custody licence.

If both are expired now, she has run the risk of being arrested on suspicion of the tampering of her tag.

No warrant out today either? If PO has sought a recall then it's down to her line manager.

If I were her, I'd be checking with the warrant officer at her local nick. If there is one, it's in her best interests to surrender.

Oh she's in turmoil isn't she? Frustrating that she's fighting her post-custodial framework.

I'll find out for you re: tag tampering. Leave with me.

Mc180768 · 10/07/2018 15:46

I've asked some people I know @drinkswineoutofamug and the response is that she's still in breach of her licence and that she will be likely recalled along with a potential further crime of criminal damage.

drinkswineoutofamug · 10/07/2018 18:00

Thank you @Mc180768 . I found some old paper work and her last license from last year has run out. So it's this episode. This isn't the first time she's cut tags off, she was 15 then and there was no fall back, mores the pity.
I wish something was done sooner rather than later. One thing is for sure, next time there will be no release on tag. Sick to the back teeth with this

OP posts:
tinytemper66 · 10/07/2018 18:37

Some good news...he has had his back payment authorised. However due to being in prison he is now on UC and not ESA and will lose £143 per month. We have just sent the forms off again for ESA and hopefully we will get it reinstated.

Thinking of you drinks and lonely x
Also thanks for all the adviceMC.

drinkswineoutofamug · 10/07/2018 18:43

That's good news tiny

OP posts:
Lonelystarbuckslover · 10/07/2018 21:54

This fresh hell continues. DB entered his plea today and is to be sentenced tomorrow. He is very fragile and told his solicitor he is feeling suicidal. I'm so worried.

Andro · 10/07/2018 22:37

Lonelystarbuckslover - has he seen a psychiatrist?

catinboots9 · 10/07/2018 23:12

@Lonelystarbuckslover good luck tomorrow. Xx

drinkswineoutofamug · 11/07/2018 07:15

lonely I will be thinking of all of your family today. Xx

OP posts:
Lonelystarbuckslover · 11/07/2018 07:20

Thankyou
He has had some kind of assessment and is deemed at risk so on frequent checks but obviously has access to a razor blade.

We haven't been able to speak to him. He'll have missed his out time (he doesn't have a phone in his cell) to get to call one of us. I understand he needs to be punished, but I can't help but think a short phone call with someone that cares could do HMP a bit of a favour but what do I know.

Thankyou for thinking of us.
Sorry not to be able to offer any support, head is spinning. Don't know how I'm gonna get through today.

tinytemper66 · 11/07/2018 11:10

Thinking of you all Lonely xxx you have shown tour support by just being in here and I hope we can all offer some sort of support just by popping on now and again. I know I appreciate it so much x

Mc180768 · 12/07/2018 12:19

Hi @drinkswineoutofamug - any news?

Sending love to all you wonderful people supporting loved ones behind the gates.

Lonelystarbuckslover · 12/07/2018 12:37

DB was in the courts holding cells all day and they decided to adjourn the sentencing until September. I feel like shit. Ball of anxiety.

Mc180768 · 12/07/2018 12:56

@Lonelystarbuckslover - that is shit and shows the state of the CJS. Court cells are awful. I'm so sorry. Are you getting support from anybody on the outside?

Lonelystarbuckslover · 12/07/2018 13:04

judge decided more time was needed and that they had missed details. There was so much they needed correcting on - this is our underfunded CJS isn't it.

Not getting much support really - I have counselling tomorrow and then there's this thread. Trying to support his mum and my dad. Need to make a phone call to find out what happens re: visiting orders now because we have visits booked in but am not sure if the terms reduce the frequency now he is no longer on remand.

Swipe left for the next trending thread