What to take to prison 2

[drinkswineoutofamug]

Not a great title but can't think of anything catching this time of the morning. Will figure out how to link to the old thread.

Lonely I remember waiting for that first phone call, things definitely improved once we had established regular phone contact

Lonely If he's remanded pending sentence, the setting up of accounts, phone cards etc can take 10 working days. This is where my earlier examples of the elasticity of time in the prison system is at peak randomness ('today' meaning possibly on Friday and so on). If he was remanded over a bank holiday weekend, it could take a bit longer.

It's shit, but along with cutting PO numbers, support staff funding was slashed. It's the admin staff that set up and manage all the accounts, canteen stock, process postal orders, phone cards.

The mahoosive Victorian prison near me used to have three full time administrators to deal with this. Now down to one and a 20 hr part time post. No overtime, no weekend working, no temps. Everyone suffers - the staff totally overworked, prisoners' families left in a vacuum, the PO's and the prisoners are constantly chasing for things.

Everyone suffers except those idiots in government making these stupid decisions. A senior post in the MOJ for prisons should mean you spend two days a month actually in a prisons talking and listening.

Blimey, it would seem I'm still quite angry about all this!

Had to phone the police. Feel abit if a tit about it but want to nip it in the bud now. The girl my daughter assaulted text me wanting her clothes and makeup back. Stating she's got a restraining order against my daughter. So reported it. She has done this kind of thing before, last time over a pair of pjs. Yes, I repeat , she tried to have my daughter arrested for theft of a pair of pjs she left at our house 😒 I'm not amused. Have yet again blocked her number

That sounds like the best course of action Drinks
it means you can do something about it but avoid any personal interaction with her it....... sounds if any personal interaction would just be fuel to her fire?
It's all extra stress that you really don't need right now though isn't it ☹️

My OH said next time dial the 9's . I pointed out it isn't an emergency but a fuckwit.
I'm tired in a new job that I dislike and don't need this shit right now.

She is being released today. Just had a call off the prison

Hope you're ok Drinks xx

Head is up my arse. I'm just walking to work. I will be back later to vent

Thinking of you all often even if I am not posting. xxx

So she's tagged and sorted and bored. Her little sister is sorting all her appointments for her as I'm working. She was seen by a psychiatrist while inside who has re-diagnosed her with ptsd, antisocial personality disorder and attachment disorder. Reading up on them it's her alright. She was more concerned with getting her nails done than sorting appointments out. I'm cooking my tea, not eaten since a bacon butty at 11am , having a bath and going bed. Seriously pissed off with it all.

How are you today, drinks? You sounded really worn out yesterday (understandably, but still worrying).

I'm am tired. I've been sorting her out in the morning before work making appointments for her, also her sister running round making sure she then attends said appointments. I'm not sleeping again because she's home. 19th July the tag comes off and it starts all over again. It's mentally draining. I'm trying to get my head round this new job and want to scream. I don't even want to go home at the end of my shift.

drinks this sounds like a nightmare. Is this supposed to be your life now?

Well, the money has gotten through so my brother can call his mum - but it's not put her mind at rest. He sounds erratic, upset, and his reports of prison are exactly what we had feared and he is reporting all the horrible things are happening and I don't know what the hell to do. His solicitor said he would visit this week but as of 5pm today, he hadn't.

He has done something terrible but I can't see how allowing his mental health to deteriorate even more is going to help. What the f can we do?

Lonely this has been my life for nearly 6 years

I wish I had something constructive to say drinks. Does she have any other support or is it just down to you?

It's down to the family. Probation not much help. Mental health team, crap. Social services are debatable. Between me and her sister we get it done

Sorry I'm a bit woe is me. I will give myself a bitch slap and pull my big girl
Pants up and get on with it.

Cut backs in services so haven't helped matters. She was last seen by community mental health in March (?) nothing since. She has to go to the doctors tell the doctor what the prison doctors said, to be referred back to the mental health team so a plan of action can be put back in place. Major system failure. Add this to the privatisation of the probation service. Adult social care not giving 2 shits. Been in touch with job Center. They unfroze her account. It appears that if you claim universal credit, get sentenced to less than 6 months they freeze the account so you don't have to apply again on release. She just needs proof of when she was in custody. We will see.

Don't worry about the woe, it's a woeful situation. Rant away.

My stepbrother certainly has mental health needs and it's awful and frustrating when you can see that, can't access help for the person and you know without help, things will only deteriorate. We knew he wasn't well before this, and could we get help, of course not.

He phoned his mum again a little while ago and sounded much better she said. Like I said, he's very erratic. My (former) step mum and I have had a giggle about the fact that all of a sudden he's eating veg because needs must and that was the only lighthearted bit of mine and hers convo. She and I hadn't actually spoken for ages until all of this, but people outside it don't get it. So at least I have this thread to rant at.

Hope you manage some rest.

I think that's pretty much the first positive thing I've heard about UC.

It's ridiculous how much you have to mess about when you're just returning to a regular life and whilst she has you and her sister to rely, loads of people don't.

I think this is why there are so many repeat offenders, which is a crying shame. If we didn't let her live with us, god knows where she would be. I've put up with the drink and drugs, the stealing, lying and violence. She only attacked me once, I had her arrested. Once I've helped her sort the basics she's on her own again. I'm having to try and trust her again, but it's so hard. She beautiful and witty and had so much going for her, then something snaps and releases the inner psycho bitch and she's evil and nasty. I find myself trying to be diplomatic just to try and keep the peace without giving into her every demand. It's a tiring hard thankless job.

I hope all of you here take this the right way, and don’t think I am being a patronising twat, but my God, you lot are incredible!
I apologise for being a lurker, and only stumbled across this thread last year as I posted a link to a helpline I knew of, but Drinks you are just a superwoman, and Lonely and Tiny, courage and strength to you both, Weezol thank you for opening my blinkered eyes.
Anyhow, not much more I can say, aside from this is possibly the most supportive, kindest and wise thread on this site,

Do not apologise for being a lurker trendy, your support is much appreciated. I suppose this is a different type of thread to the usual 🤷🏻‍♀️
People read but don't know what to say.

I have to make this clear. This thread isn't about supporting prisoners, we never condone their actions. We never belittle the crime effecting the victims.
This thread is to support the other victims, the families.
Our lives are ripped apart. The shame of having a family member in prison. The guilt, grieving for what could of been and what has been lost. Between us now, we have helped each other to understand the system, we have had some wonderful advise that can be passed on. We can also advise each other on the pitfalls of release. We come here to vent and let it all out. Myself, I felt I couldn't speak to anyone about what I was going through, hence over a year ago I started this thread 1,161 posts later.

I hope this thread helps those lurkers who maybe going through the same. Educates others to understand about the torment the families go through. No one gets judged here, we are united.

Sorry if that reads soppy 😬

Stand corrected 1,174 posts😮

My son is in a funny mood and am not sure what is up. I said to my husband this morning that I cant deal with any more 'shit'. I am not sure I trust him anymore. He may be disabled and having learning disabilities but on times he is very exasperating to say the very least. I dont think he appreciates what we have done for him [and continue to do so] or gone through because of him.
He has had no money since coming out and may not get a backdated claim despite the UC dept cocking up. He owes me a few hundred pounds now and I will take it. He has had money in his pocket every day since he came out - £20 here, £30 there an it all adds up.
I feel like we take two steps forward and three back!

tiny have they given you a time scale of when the benefits should be through? Hang in there .