What to take to prison 2

[drinkswineoutofamug]

Not a great title but can't think of anything catching this time of the morning. Will figure out how to link to the old thread.

@fruitcider .... I’m sorry I missed your message all together. I’ve become very selfish wrapped up in my own misery and despair. All the staff I have met at the prison so far (bar one) have been friendly and helpful doing a job which is nowhere near paid enough or given enough credit. Thank you from me too for helping our sons/daughters in what is such a difficult time. You are a

@rubygold4 ... I don’t think he does want control. Although he is 18 in age he certainly isn’t emotionally. He has no concept of reality. I guess I’m not handling the autism side of things very well. He can’t show emotion but it doesn’t mean it’s not there. He wants me to sort everything out for him and ‘make it all better’. I think he gets frustrated that things are taking so long.
How are things with you?

@Sammy, you are not selfish, you are going through a very traumatic and difficult time.
Your son is much younger than mine which makes it all the more difficult.
As for me I would say that things are starting to stabilise now, my son is older and has always accepted that he only has himself to blame, he is coping.
Things will settle down for you too Sammy

10 days no alcohol.
3 probation meetings.
Applied for jobs.
Looks healthy
I'm not getting excited though, it only takes a blimp and we're off again.
I'm proud of her as she stopped drinking all by herself ( and a little help from me)

Fabulous news!

Drinks I’m so pleased for you. I’ve been lurking on this thread as I can associate with the emotions being relayed here. You are very strong, I really admire you - your daughter is so lucky to have you in her corner

Thank you @Firgoodnesssake & @Sammysees .
Had some fantastic news in my own life as well. I have been accepted on a nursing associate training role. I'm over the moon! 🎉🎉

Daughter saw probation yesterday. I phoned him yesterday evening. Nearly dropped the phone when he said how proud of DD he was. Her support worker said the same. Said to her at least now you can put something positive in her case notes. She said she does every time. That my daughter has a fantastic mum & dad who continuously support DD and love her whatever. She also thinks I'm a strong woman who has never given up, whatever's been thrown at me. You do though? Don't you? Your love for your child is unwavering. I don't agree with her choices, I sympathise with her victims. But I will fight for her. I love her to bits just don't like the demonic side of her. She lacks empathy & has no regards to self remorse as it's always some bugger else's fault. Gone off on a tangent, again.
Love to all. 😘

That’s fabulous news Drinks - good things happen to good people and you are so obviously a good person. Super well done getting onto the course.

Brilliant news also about Your daughter. I can associate with what you have said, it brought a tear to my eye as my own child has been challenging (to say the least!) and like you I’ve fought and defended him every step of the way, despite everything. It takes others who’ve walked in similar shoes to have any understanding of just what we mothers will do for our kids, despite what they do and the challenges they give us.

Fantastic news drinks and positive news bout your daughter x

DS has stopped eating. Not eaten since last Saturday. Prison won’t do anything until it’s been 7 days. Not sure how much more I can take!

Oh dear Sammy. Sorry to read that. Can you talk to the prison chaplains to see if they can see your son and feed back as it were?

It's so very upsetting and stressful Sammy, how are things today, are you managing to function?
Will the prison do something tomorrow since by then it will have been 7 days?

Mental health had a meeting with him today and apparently they willring me on Monday to arrange a meeting with the prison, my ds and me. No sense of urgency then! Nothing will be done over the weekend as MH don’t work at the weekend! The chaplain has already been to see him. DS wants a hospital order. They know that which is why they’re not giving him one. I’m not sure of the ins and outs but there is a difference in outcome if you are starving yourself to die or doing it as a protest. Think DS is a bit of both. I’m scared. Very very scared.

I do feel for you Sammy, I wish I had some practical advice but I've no knowledge of uk prison systems (my son is in prison oversea's) hopefully someone on the thread has some insights.

I have had low points where I felt desperate and scared, things will stabilize for you.
Can you join a support group of some sort?

Have you tried prisonersfamilies.org? They seem to have a helpline.
Excuse me if this is telling you something you already know about.

sammy did they ring you today to arrange a meeting?
Has there been any progress at all?
Really don't understand the prison service. They help give a man a designer vagina but don't help a young lad with serious mh issues on a hunger strike. Sorry went off on a tangent there

I am meeting them today for an ACT review meeting. He’s not eaten for 10 days now. He’s going to die isn’t he. His barrister has done nothing. He’s not even come back to me after I told him Friday. And yes @drinks. The world has gone mad!

Just popping in to say how much my thoughts are with you Sammy. I’m a lurker but sending you strength. I hope they can get him some help.

Hope the meeting goes as well as can be expected 😊

Sorry pressed post too soon.
I am thinking about you.

I hope that the prison will actually help your son.

Postponed until tomorrow! He’s seeing a psychiatrist this afternoon. I have been so strong for the past 5 months but I have to say I’m really struggling the last few weeks. Have you all been through this? Does it pass?

Sending you much love @Sammysees xx

Sammy it does pass. You put a front on. Fight your battles. Then you start thinking wtf is it next time. Every thing seems negative, as what's there to be positive about? Every phone call is a battle. No one listens to you but expects you to listen to them. And one day the clouds break. It will slowly get better. X

For me there was in the initial period of shock anger etc, gradually replaced by acceptance and making long-term plans

Meeting went ok today with the prison and MH. He was taken to A&E on Friday and they didn’t tell me! I managed to get him to eat whilst I was there and I’m going back tomorrow. We tried to put some plans in place to make him feel a bit safer and less suicidal but obviously only time will tell. Thank you everyone for your support. Is everyone else ok?