What to take to prison 2

[drinkswineoutofamug]

Not a great title but can't think of anything catching this time of the morning. Will figure out how to link to the old thread.

Hugs Drinks.

((Hugs))

The gf has admitted lying to save her own skin. I've seen the messages.

Is there anything you can do about that? Legally I mean. It seems very unfair to your dd.

We are going to print out the messages and give them to the solicitor.
Probation phoned me this evening. They are going to do a home visit. Whether this is a last chance of meeting her half way 🤷🏻‍♀️ I have offered to facilitate this many a time. Thursday will tell. I have stuck a huge note on the fridge so she can't say she didn't know.

Hi OP (and everyone else).

Just finished a 14 hour shift behind bars and 2 years into my job I was nearly ready to throw in the towel a couple of months ago but I've decided to carry on. Sometimes prisoners are really hard to love, but threads like this really bring it home that all prisoners are loved by someone out there, so now when they are giving me a hard time I think of how you would want your daughter to be treated and it gives me the strength to carry on, because I do if for their loved ones if I cannot do it for them. So thank you x

I looked after a female prisoner today. She thought I was really nice and spoke to her like a person. I firstly went through her appointment, then sat and chatted about her release, housing, benefits . Her being clean and getting back in touch with family. Told her to see about volunteering and doing some college courses. That there will be someone willing to employ her, but she will have to go above and beyond to prove herself. She hugged me when she left. In fact I had 2 hugs and a kiss today off patients. Can't be all bad then can I?

Drinks you are inspirational - your strength is amazing.

I've just read both your threads today and am so sorry you are going through this - you're amazing - we have a close relative that has been in prison due to drug (heroin) related offences and my family was horrified - middle class family - nobody had even had so much as a caution from police - my son is a PCO!

His Mam has done everything she can to support him, he can't be helped until he takes responsibility for his actions. He doesn't. It's his mam's fault as she left his dad - it's his dad's fault as he was too strict - it's never HIS fault.

Nobody thinks about the fall out to the family. It's horrible.

@drinks you are an absolute star

Drinks I’m sorry to hijac your thread but I’m pretty desperate for advice and don’t get much response on here! What happens at a plea hearing? How long does it usually take? I need to go to one but, because I’m a witness, they don’t want me there but cannot refuse. I need to see the defendant as I need some kind of closure. It is driving me mad how nobody will give advice. This is a person I loved once and I need to go and have closure. Can you tell me how long it is? When do they say their plea? Are charges read out? Thank you xx

@Completebollocks I'm not quite sure. It may take only minutes, plea entered then person remanded into custody until a sentencing date. Or they may be released on bail to go back another day for sentencing. I expect it depends on the crime. You are not derailing the thread.
One of the other posters may be able to give you more information as I'm taking a wild guess.

On a side note. I'm facilitating probation coming to my house as DD never goes. They are coming today so fingers crossed

Good luck today drinks.
@completebollocks - there are so many variables but entering a plea for us was seconds. Is it magistrates or crown court? Will the plea be guilty or not guilty? Is he in custody already? (If so could be video link.) How serious is the crime. Entering a plea is very quick but if it’s not guilty then it would go to trial. Im sorry I can only go on my experience (first timer so not experienced) but hope you get the closure you need.

Hope probation goes ok Drinks x

Sorry not back to you all sooner. How is everyone?
Probation went well. They are trying to keep her out of prison so yes, will keep doing home visits.
She is now on day 3 of no drink. She's sweating and her pee is mahogany, all the toxins in her body coming out. I'm pushing fluids and gave her some vitamins. She's eating better and her skin is improving.
See how long it lasts for.

Glad to hear probation is going ok. We had a bolt out of the blue last week. My husband and I were away in Belgium and he suffered a heart attack. He is ok and the treatments there was first class.
The stress of the last few months probably didn't help. All is ok and he will recover fully but slowly.

Shit tiny! Is he back in the UK or are you still in Belgium? How are you holding up? Did he need any treatments? Angiograms? Or was he put on meds?
Oh babe 🍷that's for you 💐 that for hubby

Thank you x
He had a stent put in straight away. The RAF paid for my other son to fly and to drive us home as we couldn't drive (only started driving after my fracture today!) we came home on Saturday x
He is on meds now and is waiting to see cardiologist and the rehab team.
He was very lucky. He just woke up on Thursday morning in pain.

Oh tiny. As if you don’t have enough to contend with already! Hope you are both ok?
I am struggling. I seem to have sunk into depression. I’ve gone from having a son, partner and step daughter to being completely alone. Every night I go to bed and as soon as I shut my eyes I see my son in a coffin. Needless to say I don’t sleep much.
I hope everyone else is coping better

Oh Sammy x it must be awful for you. At least we had each other x
Thinking of you xx

Horrible day yesterday. Ds has decided he doesn't want to see me or his df anymore. We did have a bit of a go at him as he's not taking any responsibility for what he's done and not showing any remorse. Its really difficult to know what is the autism and what is just him being difficult. Am in bits

@Sammysees sorry for the late reply. Things have been up in the air here.
Could it be possibly that your son if having a breakdown of sorts? A mixture of his autism and the situation he's found himself in. Denial of the situation. My daughter always blamed everyone else and never looked at the wider picture. He will need you, don't give up. Book another visit , see what happens. This is a normal response from a prisoner at some point.

Thanks drinks. I have another visit booked for Thursday and I’m still going to go. Hopefully he won’t refuse to come out. A breakdown wouldn’t surprise me actually. With all of his sensory issues he’s not coping at all well. The problem is, with his autism, he won’t open up or tell us anything. It’s horrendous isn’t it? How is yr dd? Are things ok?

Good luck for Thursday.
Well daughter hasn't drank for a week. And don't I know it. Loving one minute, vile the next.
Probation came and did another home visit. She goes next week to sort some paper work to move into a supportive living place near us. I only know of one and it's rather dodgy. Not somewhere I would want my 21 yo very pretty daughter to be living. But she has been awol all weekend.
The substance misuse peeps phoned , it's been taken over by a private company and no longer nhs. She won't engage as she says she's now dry. A week isn't dry.
And my other daughters epilepsy is back. She had it as a child and no seizures for 6 years. Waiting to go back and see a neurologist.
Pass the gin please

@Fruitcider, thank you for the very important work you do, it must take a huge amount of personal strength and integrity to do the right thing and be professional and caring in your role

I'm sure that all the mothers and fathers of prisoners that you have reached out to would want to thank you too

@Sammy, is he perhaps having a phase where he is very angry and refusing to see you is his way of expressing it or taking some control over the situation?
I have dark thoughts, too, I try to remind myself that it is normal to have fears that loved ones could come to harm and I try not to dwell on them.

I feel very wounded and I feel angry at times, if we are to be effective
then we have to prioritize our own well being here.
Wishing you all strength