What to take to prison 2

[drinkswineoutofamug]

Not a great title but can't think of anything catching this time of the morning. Will figure out how to link to the old thread.

Well she's home. Court bailed until January 18th. She has probation tomorrow. If she doesn't go she has a recall put out. She's opened the letter, which I've left in her room. So do I remind her or leave her to her own fate? Her probation worker admitted he's already getting ready to do the recall paperwork as he knows she won't attend. It will ( if she doesn't go) be her 3rd breach. I'm stuck. Remind or not. I can't be her keeper and she has to learn not to be drinking cider all night and forgetting to go to appointments. But would it be cruel not to remind her?

Your daughters been through so much this last week as have you but a gentle nudge, reminder or whatever you want to call it shows her that you are there supporting her and as fragile as she has been perhaps she needs that handholding.

@drinkswineoutofamug

I remember reading your story when it first started and then I lost it somehow. I have just caught up with everything and am so, sad to see your DD is in the position she is in now and you are still stuck trying so, so hard to free her from these demons.

As for whether you are to be cruel or not, I think it may be at a point now where you have to be cruel to be kind. Think about your life ahead of you, how much time there is left. How long do you want to endure this for?

As a recovering alcoholic I will say that no amount of support helped until I could finally admit to myself I had a problem, and I mean from verbal support to being forced into Rehab. Does your DD really, truly recognise hers?

I hope my post doesn't come across as too harsh. I really admire our strength through this

*Your strenghth

She's left to stay out at her gf house. As she left I shouted to her does she have any appointments for tomorrow. Yes she did, listed them off. I said make sure you go. So I've prompted but it's up to her to go. Like the text message I sent about court , but she was too pissed to go.

Belletower your post wasn't harsh at all. She knows she has a problem. When she doesn't drink she takes drugs. I don't know what's worse with her.
She can't figure true memory/life from fiction and has come out with some very odd and disturbing comments that could get someone into real trouble. She says I have blocked memories out but I actually remember a certain incident and it certainly wasn't they way she remembers it. But she admits it may be a false memory. She just can't tell the difference. She said this last time she was in prison. When she sat and talked to her friend who had died 3 months previous. She has visual disturbances and hears voices and no one helps her. And as a mother I have no voice either.

Yes, it's so sad, people don't get adequate (or any) mental health care, and end up in trouble with the law. I was there when I was younger.

Sorry to hear what has been going on all. Well I will be able to keep a close eye on my son as I went ice skating with pupils with work today -I am a teacher and I have broken my ankle. I don't know how long I will be off for but at least I will see him and be there for him even if I am quite immobile!

My goodness Drinks and Lonely and everyone else in this thread what strong women you are . It’s so difficult watching someone’s life go in a completely different way that it should and could .lots of strength to you all.

Tiny how did you break you ankle? You need to put more water in that gin and stop drinking it neat!

Ona school trip!
⛸⛸⛸
Thought I was Jane Torville!

Unlucky tiny 🤦🏻‍♀️

I'm having a clear out filled a bag full of clothes that hang off me. Gave my bedroom a good clean. Landing storage cupboard 😬
Just been ordering everything I need to revamp the living room (big job). Sorting stuff like this I find therapeutic, just wish my husband would clear his side of the room......

Daughter just visited with her gf. She didn't go probation. She said she hasn't had an appointment, yet I know she has because I saw the letter that she had opened. That's her recalled then.

Finished scrubbing the house , and finding lost tools which is something for a woo 👻 thread.

How are things with everyone? My son has gone away for the weekend with some friends I trust. Seems to be having a good time. All he has asked for is more data on his phone!
He has probation again this week and it is up for review. I know that they can't keep him on it forever but it has been a positive thing and she has really helped him.

Hi tiny. I'm glad your son is taking the right road. Long may it continue.

Lonely, any news on your stepbrother? How's the family holding up?

Ruby how long has your son been on remand now? Is he abroad ? Sorry if wrong person. Does that country take into account time on remand?

Sammy how's your son doing. Is he getting the support regarding his mental health?

My daughter is awol. Not seen her for a week. She has some meds with her, but no clothes. The last I heard was Tuesday night when she was arrested. Spoke to probation. Protocol says they have to offer her one more chance which is Friday. The letters are here. Unopened. So by the end of this month she will be recalled. Probation said it will be a longer sentence as she continues to take the piss. It would be nice to know where she is. But it's been lovely here without her. Peaceful.

She’s not helping herself at all is she drinks? You’d think she would have learned a lesson? Mind you I’m old and sensible and she’s young and carefree.
My ds is now 12 weeks in and still no meds or mh help. He’s at rock bottom. We have a sentencing date of 12th Oct but have been told it will prob be adjourned again as he’s back to court on 26th sept to hear 2 new charges. If he pleads not guilty then it will be months before a trial with no mh help.
Scary times 😢

Oh Sammy you are going through the mill. I hope your son receives the help he needs for his MH.
Xxx

Oh drinks. You must be torn with enjoying the peace but still worrying about how Blasé she is being.

Hugs Sammy it must be so hard x

Hi Drinks 🙂 my son is been held for a year now and yes it all counts as time served.
He's coping pretty well and we hope to have a sentence soon, he is overseas, in Europe
actually I think the prison conditions are in many aspects better than prisons in UK.
Of course I worry about the long-term effects on mental and physical health but he's an adult, he brought this all on himself ultimately
all I can do is been there for him
Wishing you all strength💪

That must make it difficult to see him regularly Ruby? I’m still struggling to come to terms with the fact my reclusive, autistic, suicidal son is actually in prison. I can’t seem to get my head around it all. It’s all so unbelievable. But I guess every mum would say the same 😢

we speak on the phone frequently but yes visiting is not easy at all.
I still can't get my head round it Sammy, I am still heartbroken, but reasonably confident that my son can deal with this.
I'm so sorry for your boy Sammy, I hope the situation starts to improve you soon really I do

Same as you Ruby. Heartbroken. Unfortunately my ds is not coping with it. I split up with my exdp 4 weeks before this happened and ds is my only child. I feel very much alone. Whichever way I look at it I’m not going to be in my sons life for many years other than a 2 hour visit once a week. Whether that’s in prison or a secure hospital. How do I come to terms with that?

That 2 hours once a week can allow you to be a powerful source of strength and comfort for your son Sammy.

Just walked out of a basic life support training session. It's 2 weeks since my daughter tried to hang herself. It's too raw

She has her final chance at probation today. It's now in a different town with no direct trains so will be interesting if she gets there. Will find out later

I hope she turns up Drinks x