What to take to prison 2

[drinkswineoutofamug]

Not a great title but can't think of anything catching this time of the morning. Will figure out how to link to the old thread.

Sammy xx
Is he being treated as a vulnerable adult? Has a social worker visited him?
Sorry for asking questions x
I was inconsolable for days x
I went back to work a few days after as I was on holiday when it happened and it took my mind of it a little.
I just worry and get worked up when he is being sheepish in case he has broken his restraining order again and he will end back up inside again. It is exhausting trying to keep a level head.

He is being treated as vulnerable luckily. But no he hasn’t seen a social worker. He was only supposed to be there 4 weeks until he was sentenced but it was adjourned for 4 weeks and has now been adjourned for another 8 at least. It sounds like he will be sectioned which is a whole new worry.
How are you coping? Do you think you will ever move on? I can imagine you are constantly worried!

We are slowly but the worry is there. The mutual friends stir a lot and he doesn't have the emotional maturity to see what is happening.
He cannot control his emotions very well which is why he ended up there in the first place.
We are slowly getting through to him I think. He is on probation and I pay for him to have counselling so he can talk about his emotions.
He won't really be able to hold down a job but we are looking at ways to keep him occupied.
I think I keep going because he has been disabled from birth and I have always fought for him because if I don't stand up for him who will? Ultimately he has to wake up and realise what he has done and the impact it has had on us as a family. I am lucky that I still have my mum who sleeps up when we have been away just to be a presence.
He can cope for short periods of time in his own but can't do basic daily living tasks and would smell and look grubby without us being there. He could also never live on his own.
I try to be positive but I often feel a step forward and two back on times.
Thinking of you Sammy, plus drinks and Lonely. X

Sending love Sammy x

Thanks Groovee.
Tiny - your last couple of paragraphs sound just like my son. He hasnt had a shower or brushed his teeth in 8 weeks. Prison life is terrifying for him. His crime didn’t affect anyone else, just himself, and I am constantly on edge wondering if he’s safe. He is a target for bullies and has been bullied all his life. And because of his (mildish) autism he doesn’t show any emotion at all. I hope life gets easier for all of us on this thread and I’m so glad I found it. Thanks drink for starting it. for you all.

Hi all and welcome Sammy.
Sammy have you tried phoning the prison and asking to speak to the safeguard team. It may also be worth contacting your sons medical team and getting them to contact the prison.

My daughter was arrested and released again yesterday. The police are now speaking to a certain person about wasting police time. She accused my daughter of sending threatening text. But the police seized my daughters phone back in August. She's provided them with her passwords for all social media which all proved she has had no contact with this girl. The same girl, who is messaging everyone saying she's going to make sure my daughter goes back to prison. Police have seen those messages.
Had a lovely holiday , all back to normal

Oh crikey! Do you feel like it will never end? I'm a bit like that at the moment. I can't ever see an end to it all. I split up with my long term partner 4 weeks before all this happened and the only family I have is my mum (who is elderly). I feel very alone. I have some great friends but god how I wish I had a partner to lean on.
My son has been put on the vulnerable persons unit. He was on suicide watch for the first 2 weeks but he's pretty much left to his own devices now. I saw him yesterday. He is skin and bone because he's not eating.
The life of a parent isn't easy is it?

Well you have us now Sammy.

Hi all.

I remember the original thread but sorry I have not kept up.

Sammy sectioning might be a good outcome, a hospital, even a secure hospital would be better for him.

Also, depending on where they send him he may get bail. (Check the next bit, I may be out of date) If it is a non secure hospital the prison has to provide two officers to guard him, if the court grants bail then he can be bailed to a psychiatric ward, it saves the prison service money and assuming he is non violent and possibly on a locked ward there is no reason not to.

Obviously that would only be until sentencing.

My experience of this is from the NHS, we would occasionally get prisoners who were due to see the parole board would try to get them selves admitted as it was an almost automatic parole.

Drinks

Sorry your dd is still causing you pain.

Do you have to resit any exams?

I'm a teacher, not working at the moment due to ill health but if you need some support re maths or general uni stuff let me know. BTW have you applied for extenuating circumstances?

Hi ssahh I passed my maths on my 3rd resit 😶 and passed my English in 1 take. I start my 3rd yr of ou in October.
I never ever ever ever want to know how many oak trees I can plant in a hectare ever again. But I may take you up on the offer with my uni work when I'm having a wtf moment.
Hope you start to feel better soon.

Just checking in and sad to welcome you to the fold Sammy.

I've been to see my DB today. He has now had his psych assessment and we await sentencing.

It's the worst thing that's ever happened to me Sammy. I can cope with him loosing his freedoms as punishment and he needs rehabilitation and mental health input. What I can't cope with is the lack of safety. He is being watched but quite a few things have happened that should not have happened.

Thank you for the welcome. I wish none of us were in the positions we are but I’m really pleased I can talk to people going thru similar experiences.
Sashh, he was remanded into custody. Refused bail.
Lonelystar, that’s what frightens me the most too. We seem to be in the same position. My son has had his psych assessment too and is awaiting sentencing. Although he has had a recommendation for a hospital order so they now have to find someone to take him even tho when he goes for sentencing it’s not guaranteed that they will send him there. Sentencing has been adjourned twice already! It’s shockingly slow. I hope yr db remains safe. I know the anxiety you are feeling

I am away but sending hugs 🤗 to you all. Things are quiet at the moment with mine and I hope it continues x

Sat in a&e. She tried to commit suicide. Had to pull her up out of the window, screaming for my husband to untie the noose. I'm numb , drinking tea. She's ok . I saved her life. She's with psychiatric nurses now. She said if she goes home she's going to do it again

I'm so sorry. Traumatic doesn't even cover it. I hope they'll admit her & try to help her.

The sent her home with a referral for counselling. How am I meant to sleep? Go out? Leave her alone? Work?

I'm so sorry, I don't understand why they'd do that. Can you stay in the same room as her? Take some time off?
If you're struggling have they given you a number to call? If she tries anything again all you can do is take her straight back to a&e.

We got nothing. Every muscle hurts. I never believed it when people say they get super human strength, always dubious. How I lifted her up back through the window and held her up I don't know. I need to try and wind down. It's 3am and I have a glass of wine

I'm sorry. I think they've let you down. But remember that if it wasn't for you she wouldn't still be here. You did all you could.

Any more signs take her back, but very much hope that this has scared her out of trying again.

Try to rest if you can.

Good god! What has our country come to? Drinks I’m so sorry you are going through this. I didn’t sleep properly for 3 years after my ds 1st suicide attempt. It’s shocking that they sent her home. I can’t believe it.

Drinks xxx how awful for you to have to go through this and then have no help when your daughter obviously needs it. X

Oh my goodness drinks 💐💐 for you.

My son was a victim of abuse today. A man he didn't know who was either drunk or on drugs abused him
In a local park. Very shocked but is ok. Man was arrested. A kind member of the public stayed with him until we could pick him up.
How are thinks drinks? X

tiny i hope your son is alright. Was he hurt or was it verbal? Both as bad as each other in my opinion.
My daughter is as good as she is going to be. Taking her meds and waiting for a mh team appointment. You would of thought due to circumstances it would be quicker but it was bank holiday. I'm covered in bruises from pulling her up through the window. She's lucky I was still awake or this would be a different story.

Thanks drinks x he is ok just verbal. He is vulnerable but I can't keep him locked up as he is nearly 33. He has been told to be careful x
Hope your daughter gets the help and support from health workers soon xxx