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Victims of crime

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Original poster

What to take to prison 2

609 replies

drinkswineoutofamug · 25/04/2018 08:21

Not a great title but can't think of anything catching this time of the morning. Will figure out how to link to the old thread.

OP posts:
Original poster
drinkswineoutofamug · 24/07/2018 17:34

Not as daft as I look 😂
Daughter turned up, usual bollocking , as usual in one ear out the other and she's gone again

OP posts:
Groovee · 25/07/2018 14:55

Well done drinks on your exams. Not sure what else you can do RE daughter x

Original poster
drinkswineoutofamug · 26/07/2018 07:34

You couldn't make it up.

SHES BACK WITH HER CHEATING IDIOT EX GIRLFRIEND WHO PUT HER IN PRISON.

Well was one of the causes of her going to prison amongst other things. This is where she had been disappearing to. I've told her what I think. With a bit of it will all end in tears and I don't want to be the one that said 'I told you so'

lonely how are things with your SB and family?

tiny all things good at your end?

OP posts:
tinytemper66 · 26/07/2018 09:41

Things seem ok on the surface but I don't really know. No probation for 3 weeks due to holidays but I think he needs to be seen weekly not fortnightly.
Money is still an issue. Still awaiting outcome of ESA as opposed to UC and whisky I have verbally been told his UC will be backdated there is no written confirmation and as to when it will be paid.
We are seeing a solicitor regarding Power of Attorney but it will cost over £1000 so again money is the root of all evil!
He is bothering with a girl who is friends with the girl he was inside for. I don't think they are going out but they are friends and I wonder if it will all end in tears.
So egg shells etc.
I am off for the summer now so am around but am also around for him to vent to and to ask for money. If I am in work I can ignore requests but not is I am in the house.
Luckily it is a nice day and I am going to meet friends down the beach!
ThNks for the update and for thinking of me xxx

Lonelystarbuckslover · 27/07/2018 15:15

Oh bloody hell Drinks, that's the last thing you need. You can't reason with someone hell bent on a toxic relationship and it's very frustrating. So hard picking up the pieces time and time again.

Things are quite bad here. DB has had his interview with probation who will prepare a report that will inform sentencing. He is soon going to be having some psych assessment too. He has disclosed that he is hearing voices and has been doing for well over a year, and I'm so upset none of us had an idea. We get tearful phone calls - none of which are actually to do with being in prison per se, he seems to be able to cope with the routine of prison life, but he talks about deserving to die quite a lot. I reported that to the safer custody team and they actually telephoned me back yesterday and said that they too have flagged up concerns and are monitoring him. They were grateful for us contacting them and outlined the process and support they are planning. Whether that comes to fruition or not is anyone's guess - an inmate was stabbed to death there last week. It's just a very worrying time and we expect this is just our life for the foreseeable.

We are visiting him tomorrow so hopefully that will give him something to look forward to.

tinytemper66 · 27/07/2018 19:18

Sorry to hear your news Lonely xx

Original poster
drinkswineoutofamug · 28/07/2018 09:37

lonely that's heart breaking and I hope he gets the help he desperately needs. Good luck with your visit today.

OP posts:
Original poster
drinkswineoutofamug · 01/08/2018 21:32

She's been arrested again .....

OP posts:
tinytemper66 · 03/08/2018 03:58

Oh no drinks x
Sorry to read this x

Groovee · 03/08/2018 06:36

Oh no Drinks x

Original poster
drinkswineoutofamug · 03/08/2018 07:05

She was arrested for going to the block of flats where her victim lives.
The girl wasn't in. D went to a ground floor flat. Girl lives on 3rd floor. Girl find out daughter was in area while she was out . This I have proof of, phones the police and reports her for harassment, while she's not in.
There is no order against her as it ran out. Police think it's a joke and were pleasant to her.
But
She's been charged with abusive behaviour for telling this girl to fuck off , on different day , which was witnessed.
So D is going to the police today with all the screen shots of messages of threats etc to put a counter claim in.
Hope that makes sense.
Fuming. They are all idiots.

OP posts:
Knitjob · 03/08/2018 18:28

Fuming. They are all idiots

Oh I would be fuming too. You've tried so hard. I can feel your frustration in every post. What a truly shitty situation for your dd, and for you. You must be absolutely worn out.

Original poster
drinkswineoutofamug · 03/08/2018 22:40

It's more of a shity situation of her own making for my daughter and one I've been dumped in. Tomorrow I climb on a plane and leave for 2 weeks. She has these 2 weeks to prove to everybody that she can be sensible.

OP posts:
Lonelystarbuckslover · 04/08/2018 12:36

Drinks, I hope the distance is helpful for you. What a stress again. I'm sorry the nightmare is neverending.

I'll update in a bit, I'm so tired of the situation - not my step brother as such but counselling my family through this is exhausting.

divafever99 · 04/08/2018 13:08

Hope you manage to relax while away, this whole situation seems exhausting. You seem such a brave person to be coping with it all Thanks

Lonelystarbuckslover · 04/08/2018 20:55

I've now visited my brother every week for the past however long. He's getting by - he calls us in tears often and my main concern is that he is not safe in there. He's been taken hostage in someone's cell (though felt the prisoner was more of a risk to himself than to him) , someone has been stabbed to death and the black mamba/spice issue is big there (as I am sure it is everywhere). But I genuinely like hearing from him and seeing him - though of course I wish he weren't there, but contact with him is better than not.

My family are stressing me out though.

tinytemper66 · 14/08/2018 18:27

How are things Drinks and Lonely? X

Lonelystarbuckslover · 14/08/2018 19:53

Hardgoing I'm afraid. I'm so worried for his safety in there. He keeps self harming and has phoned us saying he's suicidal - I phoned the safer custody team as I have before and feel worried that they told him this time (he's had no idea before) so worried he might stop confiding his feelings. Feels like this is just our life now, to be worried if he's going to harm himself, be harmed by others or end up on drugs.

It's all really affecting how I feel about myself and my family. I feel dirty.

tinytemper66 · 14/08/2018 21:16

I don't think I can say anything that will make you feel better. However you are in my thoughts x

Lonelystarbuckslover · 14/08/2018 21:41

Thank you Tiny, and Thankyou for asking after me, it does mean a lot at this lonely and shitty time xx

Sammysees · 22/08/2018 20:29

I was wondering if I could join your thread. My young son (18) has been in a YOI for 8 weeks now after pleading guilty for a charge that carries a minimum sentence of 5 years. The police have had his pc and he has now been charged with another offence and they won’t run concurrently. He has autism. He’s very clever but struggles with social interaction. He is too terrified to leave his cell as he has been beaten once already. Sentencing has been adjourned to an unknown date but a psychiatrist report has recommended a hospital order. He hasn’t had fresh air or a shower for 8 weeks! He’s my only son and I’m divorced so absolutely panic stricken and it’s affecting my health. He could be sentenced to an institution anywhere in the country and I still suicidal. The first charge is what he bought to do it. Sorry if this is all over the place. I have spent the last 8 weeks sobbing my heart out. I’m terrified that I have lost my son.

Sammysees · 22/08/2018 20:31

Sorry I meant to say he isn’t suicidal.

Sammysees · 22/08/2018 20:32

Gosh my typing is shocking. He is suicidal.

tinytemper66 · 22/08/2018 21:16

Has the prison chaplain visited him? The nurse rang me the day my son was admitted. I have to say that the people in the prison itself were good to my son and he was watched every hour. The other prisoners (trustees) looked after him, washing him and shaving him as my son can't do that on his own.
I was lucky he was only in there 13 days but it has made me nervous and jumpy to what he is doing and who drives up to our house etc
Keep us updated x thinking of you x
And lonely and drinks too
I dreamt the other night he was back in there and it was so real I felt funny when I woke up and quite weepy x

Sammysees · 22/08/2018 21:45

He is too frightened to talk to anyone (autism) even the prison officers. My world has been turned upside down and inside out.
I have read both of your threads drinks and think you are all amazing and strong. I’m usually a very strong person too but this has completely floored me. I have lots of supportive friends but when I saw this thread I thought wow, someone else is going through all these things too. It’s difficult for rl friends to understand.

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