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Victims of crime

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Original poster

What to take to prison

999 replies

drinkswineoutofamug · 18/01/2017 21:38

Will be brief, daughter due to be sent down. Any one have a clue what to pack? Do we pack a bag? I've looked on line and it's a bit vague . Any help greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
westcoastnortherneragain · 27/01/2017 21:04

Flowers OP you are so brave and a great mum

FruitCider · 27/01/2017 21:18

funny are you stupid or something?

This thread isn't about the daughters crimes/behaviours. It's about the mother, who has unconditional love for her child regardless of what they have done. Where is your compassion?!?!?

funnyandwittyusername · 27/01/2017 21:25

Carol- and the assault on the police officer?
The previous assaults?
Fruit- No, not stupid. Just astounded at the double standards on here. There's no rules stating the family of drunken, violent domestic abusers are entitled to compassion.

OneWithTheForce · 27/01/2017 21:41

There's no rules stating the family of drunken, violent domestic abusers are entitled to compassion.

There's no rule stating you're entitled to bomb into an entirely supportive thread shoving your spiteful spanner in the works for shits and giggles. Seriously, you don't think OP deserves so support? Fine, don't give her any. It's really that easy. You don't get to shit all over the support others have offered. What is wrong with you?

FruitCider · 27/01/2017 21:41

There shouldn't NEED to be a rule regarding that. Common sense should prevail when talking about a youth offender who is an alcoholic. If you lack common sense, then I pitty you.

Carollocking · 27/01/2017 21:46

I'm not judging assault on police officer simply as it can be as much as knocking off the hat to serious assault which is rather bizarre as it's all covered under assault on an officer so I dont judge it.
Though I'm assuming it was just been difficult when arrested however as I say I'm assuming this considering a huge percentage of these kind charges come about from the actual arrest.
I personally have little faith and belief in the police at the best of times.
However the post is about support for the mum and her ongoing experiences in dealing with things now and to come so whether daughter right or wrong it's nothing to do with this post and it's support

MNHQ
PresidentOliviaMumsnet · 27/01/2017 21:49

Good evening all
May we please remind you that Mumsnet's raison d'etre is to make lives easier
Bit of peace and love rarely goes amiss
thanks all

funnyandwittyusername · 27/01/2017 21:50

Or alternatively you could read that on one occasion she spat at a police officer and on the other occasion she kicked one. But as you have so "little faith and belief in the police" that's fine. Just "being difficult on arrest" isn't assault on police

OneWithTheForce · 27/01/2017 21:53

Oh just ignore it. It's derailed enough of what was a fantastically supportive thread. Let's get back to that.

Original poster
drinkswineoutofamug · 27/01/2017 21:54

funnyandnotsowitty you are entitled to an opinion. You may believe that I am making light of my daughters conviction. Nope . The fuck Witt of an ex girlfriend and yes I will call her that. They same girl that held my daughter against her will and hit her round the head with a hammer. That smashed up everything I bought for my daughter flat, who sent abusive messages to my younger daughter via social media, who threaten to beat me up. I think I have every right to call her a fuck Witt and a scank . I was told by the police that this girl was going to kill my daughter. The police did fuck all. My daughter hit back and she's the one who gets arrested. Yes she hit a copper . Yes she isn't a model of society. I'm hoping that this helps her.
Thank you to the people who have posted on her with advice and help. You my dear can go back to bridge dwelling because your response isn't needed .

OP posts:
FruitCider · 27/01/2017 21:56

I agree.

OP I just wanted to say thank you for posting so honestly about your experiences. I'm certain reading your story has made me more kind to my patients even in the most testing of times. I always try and treat patients like I would want my family to be treated, but this thread really bought it home.

Thank you Flowers

Carollocking · 27/01/2017 21:56

Personally I'd say that been put under arrest is exactly how came about.as I'm very sure she didn't see one in the street and spit at or just hit.sounds like a result of physically been detained under duress and a drunk reaction from someone under stress and problems.
However since your obviously police or ex police u have very bias opinion on anything so it's not gonna gain much discussing here really

funnyandwittyusername · 27/01/2017 21:58

Yes, that's it. A response which is different to what you want is trolling. Nothing else Hmm

Carollocking · 27/01/2017 22:03

What she asked for was help about her daughter going into prison !not someones criticism

Carollocking · 27/01/2017 22:14

We all go through hard times difficult circumstances and need nice support and help at them times,good bad or indifferent I am here for you and your daughter "Drinks "

user1478860582 · 27/01/2017 22:15

I'm a recently retired screw with many years in. I've worked the female, male and young offenders estates. I've been assaulted many times, stabbed, hospitalised and generally gone through the mill with prisoners.

You know something? Whilst you maybe don't agree with an offenders actions, they still deserve respect, compassion and decent treatment. The families of prisoners often really go through the ringer with them. You don't stop loving someone because they are in jail.

OP, you seem to be doing a great job. Without the support of you and your family your daughter faces a long road to rehabilitation, which surely is what everyone wants? That's why I did the job.

Carollocking · 27/01/2017 22:18

It's exactly that compassion that makes us apart from underdeveloped country's and society's
And for you to still see and believe that even after going through I'm sure terrible times in your job is wonderful

youarenotkiddingme · 27/01/2017 22:19

I've only just seen this. Flowers *drinks
*
Sounds like it's been a very tough few years and it's taken it's to on your MH.

I also know that crimes against police are seen as much more serious - even when proportionately they aren't. You are right though to hope the outcome turns into a positive for your DD.

Just a random one though! Does your DD have TLE? Because that can cause a lot of anxiety and social problems (similar to asd presentation) that may explain her vicious cycle she got trapped into. I tricky believe to help someone you need to know the route cause.

LuluLovesFruitcakes · 27/01/2017 22:29

Well, aren't some people just fucking delights Hmm

Drinks I think you're amazing. I know what a fucking shit time of it you must have had with your daughter. Those injuries inflicted upon her were utterly horrific! Unfortunately - as is sometimes the case - your daughter is in shit for hitting back.
Have seen it many times in dva cases - the abuser tends to like the control. Yes, your daughter has made some incredibly bad and stupid choices. But those were not your choices. As has been said many times over - this will hopefully be the kick up the arse that she clearly desperately needs. It will - hopefully - change her.

And fwiw - I've never seen the mother of a male perp turn her back on her own child. And I fucking wouldn't either if my son had been battered with a fucking hammer before hitting back!

queenc81 · 27/01/2017 22:32

*Funnyandwittyusername.
*
You've come on to this thread and have acted like you know the whole situation personally! You are so bloody wrong in your comments, not only wrong you are also a massive dick head! Your comments are idiotic and unjustified. Piss off back to your bridge.

Op you're doing amazing and handling this so well, I really feel for you, couldn't imagine being in your situation Sad just ignore the above poster! X

CamomileTeaShotofVodka · 27/01/2017 22:49

OP everyone has said such lovely words and been so supportive, I've been following this thread and realised what a truly lovely mum and lady you are.

All I can say is you deserve support and compassion, not nasty unhelpful comments Hmm
You are strong and will get your daughter through this - she's really lucky to have you Star

CondensedMilkSarnies · 27/01/2017 23:03

Hang on in there Drinks . X

UnbornMortificado · 27/01/2017 23:31

drinks fuck em.

Groovee · 28/01/2017 00:43

Funny could you not just have closed the thread again? You never know what may happen with yourself, spouse or children. I have learned a lot from this thread.

lookingforbaubles · 28/01/2017 09:04

drinks 2 years ago i was waiting for the police phone call about my ds - he was suffering with mh issues and drinking, i actually wished he was inside many times as i thought he would be safer

now after some very bumpy times, he is working, living independently'ish and lovely to be around

i have a whole section of grey hair with his name on it!

wishing you hope for the future, there are no quick fixes - i remember the feeling of relief when my ds actually turned up for coffee meetings...and then when he was on time wow !

its hard being a supportive mum, your doing great, your dd is lucky to have you Flowers