Barely affording to live and Christmas is making me ill

[Zombieof3]

Good evening all,

this is me just venting but if anyone has anything helpful to offer, I would be more than grateful to hear it. PLEASE NOTE: that I am not after any offers of money etc, and anything of the kind would be respectfully refused. I just don’t want to be alone with how I’m feeling

me and my partner work, I work forty hours whilst my partner does about 25 hours which actually works out financially better than when we were both working due to childcare costs for three kids. I’m actually so low at the moment, every month it’s such a struggle, the minute we have money it’s gone and I’m not even covering half of my priority bills. I’ve got a ridiculous amount of debt which I was previously paying off but since cost of living, I’m barely able to put food on the table. I’m working with stepchange but it’s quite a difficult process as I’m not even sure who half of the debt is with and they need everything to be a 100% accurate which involves me needing to ring around but I’m in work 9-5 and everywhere shuts after this. My two girls are desperately needing a new bed as their bunk bed is falling apart and I’m going to have to take it apart for their safety. Christmas is around the corner and I don’t know how to explain to my 13, 9 and 8 year old that I doubt there will be anything major to open. I feel sick to my stomach. I feel like I’m working my arse off for absolutely nothing, it’s killing me and I feel like such a waste of space. What’s the point in slogging in all day for nothing. We’ve never been abroad, we don’t live lavishly, I’ve cancelled all subscriptions. We do and have nothing. I’m just sad that I’m struggling to provide even the bare minimum.

Don’t have anything new to advise but will reiterate telling the school you are struggling because many schools do have access to things that aren’t widely known.

It also struck me when you said you sometimes wonder if it’s worth carrying on. @Zombieof3 I know you’re in a hard place at the moment and I sympathise a lot. But always try to remember that your children love you and need you. Your love & emotional support for them is worth so much more than any expensive gift put under a tree. You sound strong so please keep going. Childcare costs don’t last forever and it will get easier honestly ❤️

Amazon flex is a great flexible way to earn money through doing deliveries - they are 4 hour blocks of work that often don’t take 4 hours to do at a fixed price which is a good hourly rate. If you’ve got your own car this could be a good option - you bid for shifts on an app so can make sure it’s at convenient times for your DH

How are you op? @Zombieof3

@Zombieof3 have you (or your DH - he’s got time to be putting into this too) looked at Shelter Cymru? There’s information on their webpage about the discretionary assistance fund that could be helpful as well as information about getting furniture etc too. https://sheltercymru.org.uk/housing-advice/money-advice/in-a-crisis/find-free-or-cheap-furniture/

If you’re anywhere near Barry, a colleague told me recently about a brilliant sounding shop in town called Eto. They sell clothes and toys very reasonably and do ‘fill a bag for a fiver’ too. They have a pay it forward board where people have donated something in advance - that might be money in credit to use in the shop or a coffee and cake in their cafe.

There are all sorts of very kind charities out there - please do ask for help. There is nothing to be ashamed of and once your DH is working more hours and the kids get a bit older I’m sure things will start to balance out better each month.

If you feel up to dm me with more details of where you are, I’d be very happy to look for more specific help for the 5 of you xx

I feel the same way although I’m not as badly off as you. I’m almost sure someone has already suggested this but incase not, you really need to try and find a better paying job as this can’t continue

Hi at the church we attend the St Vincent de Paul charity help support local families throughout the year but particularly at Christmas also. They help lots of families local to the area with Cash donations/ Shopping Vouchers and also beds for children or appliances. Even support with tops ups for gas or electric. There is a St Vincent de Paul in every area. You can contact your local Catholic Church who will put them in touch with you or you may me able to find your local branch with a quick internet search. You do not need to attend church at all or be of any particular religious beliefs. They support everyone. Hope this helps.