The Lockdown Saving and Spending Continues! May Frugaleers continued

[LaneBoy]

New thread!

Hopefully nsd today. Might go somewhere different for our walk as I think that’s allowed now (in Scotland) Oh the excitement of it all 🙄

Hope you enjoy your day at work em it’ll do you the world of good to be out the house. I love that aspect of my job getting to mix with other people. It’s keeping me sane. Maybe your dh would benefit from doing the same - is he able to go into work for a half day?

Girlie what age clothes is she in?

Hope you are having a lovely time at work em . Going in one day a week honestly did help save my sanity over lockdown. Do you know when your nursery is likely to reopen yet? I suggest you then take a day off

Paddling pool still out here. Only 22 degrees today.

Desperately trying to have a sort out whilst DP is at work. PIL brought a load of toys around last weekend, they are still in the hallway. I kind of thought they were DPs job to sort but clutter doesn’t bother him

Life she is an adult size 10 now, at 14yo she's the same height as me 5ft 7in but about 2 stone lighter 😬🤣 Oh to be young and skinny again.

@Girliefriendlikespuppies

Em isn't making you believe something that happened didn't happen gaslighting? He has definitely done that to you before.

I'm slowly waking up, the dog had me up overnight needing the loo, think he ate more than usual Ystd....

Today I'm going to trawl the supermarkets for new clothes for dd, she has hardly anything for the hot weather and buying online is tricky for her. I can't wait until the shops start opening up again.

Feels like things are slowly getting back to normal here as people are out and about. I'm completely of the opinion now that things need to go back to normal with a small amount of social distancing and a lot of hand washing.

Ooh quotes.

Yes to gaslighting. Although he’s saying I’m doing that to him by saying that we did have the conversation.

I’m definetly going to have to talk to him. Rationally. Because I don’t know how much more of this I can put up with. I’m annoyed he’s ignoring me today. I’m annoyed re the money chat. I’m annoyed re the lack of help. But will deal with it - not put up with it anymore. But will deal.

I do think that maybe he’s still feeling awful but it’s the lack of communication which is getting to me. He won’t talk. He won’t tell me what’s wrong. He won’t. So how am I meant to know. He’s said before that I don’t ever listen to him. But how can I listen when he won’t talk?

I’ve got more work done this morning so far than I have all week. I’m at a desk with a naice coffee and am listening to radio 4 with my headphones in. Blitzing it.

Could you maybe take it in turns to go into the office so you can both have a break em? Maybe that will make both of you feel better. Although if he is post CV he will be exhausted. I think for some people the weeks after it are almost worse than the initial infection.

@Girliefriendlikespuppies

Life she is an adult size 10 now, at 14yo she's the same height as me 5ft 7in but about 2 stone lighter 😬🤣 Oh to be young and skinny again.

Ooo yes. Quote. Like it

Ah can't help then girlie. Mine is 5"6 and taller than me at 12 2/3. Size 6-8

I agree Girlie. I note you work in healthcare, in my circles the people who work in healthcare seem to feel as you do and those who work elsewhere seem to be much more anxious and more wanting stricter restrictions . My main motivations are things for DD to do and practical things like getting her feet measured but someone on MN said trying on shoes won't be allowed so don't know how that will work for small children and also resumption of other healthcare. I had mild dental pain for a week which has now gone thankfully, and I was meant to check mouth guard fitting and take it home like a week before lockdown but my appt got cancelled so I've not got it and I must have started chewing at night again as I've now got ulcers again there. My acne treatment was paused too until August. And I was referred by the GP for breast lumps under the 2 week wait, and the clinic said they will make an appt for me to come in and be examined in 6-8 weeks. I'm not worried about it at all as I know cancer would be sooo rare but still it feels uneasy.

Hi all.

em, your dh isn't being fair to you at all. I'm glad you are enjoying your day at work.

Love I agree about going to work, if I didn't I would have been really down, I think.

Went to a big Tesco on Tuesday, got myself some new underwear and a dress for dd, Birthday cake and lots of food, £70.58.

It is my youngest birthday today, she is 10 and is almost as tall as me now.

Girlie I really want the shops to open too, dd2 and ds2 could do with some new bits as well!

Ooh quoting. I missed that development, is that only for premium MN?

Em I hope you’ve had a good day at the office. I’m really sorry things have got so stressful - he’s really not coming across well here is he :( he needs to make the effort to get out of the house more if he’s stressed. I know how hard it is, I’ve had days or weeks where I haven’t made myself do the things that help me (exercise/fresh air/self care etc) and I’ve turned into a grumpy cow but much as lockdown is horrible, the responsibility for doing those things is still mine alone.

Yep life definitely glad DD1 was allowed back to school! She’s so much happier seeing her bestie every day. The difficulty is making sure she keeps up with the work as they don’t actually do much in the day due to staffing - teachers aren’t being strict with deadlines obviously but it’s more for her sake as she struggles enough academically IYSWIM. I emailed the senco before half term, who agreed she could sign out of the subjects she’s not taking next year (they start GCSEs in year 9 there) so that’s reduced the workload. Now we’ve made an agreement with the maths teacher (I can set different work instead as I know what she can manage, she just has to keep it all in a folder to show him) things are a lot calmer though and hopefully once she’s caught up on a few bits of overdue English and science we can relax.

I got home at 130. Had a chat with dh. And have taken ds out for a bike ride.

I also bought a lot of biscuits and some naice brownies in the shop.

Work was ace. Managed to get more work done in the morning than I had done in the last week.

My chat with dh was interesting. He feels like I’m taking advantage of him doing the childcare and working at the same time (which I didn’t know he was doing - apparently he’s sacrificing his work life for the kids - wonderful choice of words).

He’s upset that we (read me) are unnecessarily spending.

He’s upset that no one listens to his feelings.

He’s upset that he may not see his family (in nz and Aussie) next year.

He’s upset that his dad hasn’t contacted him once during all of this. (He hasn’t contacted his dad either I did point out relationships work both ways!)

I’ve said I can’t help him with things if I don’t know what’s wrong.

I’ve also said I’m at the end of my tether with his twattish behaviour and gaslighting. And will absolutely not put up with it for much longer. I said that effectively while he was ill I’d been a single parent so knew if I chose to I could.

Wow em that is quite a tirade from him. Glad you’ve laid it on the line x

Sound like a lot of air was cleared em. But you are fundamentally right communication needs to be better if that's what he is doing.

Happy birthday girlie DD.

Nsd today. Yea

Nursery is open from 8 June. I’ve registered to send the kids back. They need the structure. I need the routine. We all need to get away from each other.

Schools are back as of 8 June here too.

I decided to get the m&s beauty pack offer you'd to spend €35 to get it for €20 but the shampoo and conditioner are worth €24 and I've found color wow dream filter spray great so interested in trying the rest of the range.
School uniforms are reduced so I got 2 long sleeve and 2 short sleeve T-shirt's each for dc, 2 pairs of shorts and a cat T-shirt for dd(loves cats & needs more shorts) for approx €56 after discounts

Did my grocery shopping in SuperValu for a change today. Including a bottle of Bacardi €74.16 after using €15 vouchers. No strong flour to be had so I'm off to dunnes for that and dog nuts. Didn't buy any meat. Only dc for dinner twice before my dunnes vouchers expire so I'm going to use up what's there.

Em only another week to get through so, do you think he's using those things as an excuse for his bad behaviour or is he prone to bottling things up?

Curvy happy birthday to your dd, 10 is a milestone birthday dd is much more thoughtful since turning 10!

Girlie reebok have a good sale with extra 25% off anything that has 30% off if your dd is into sportswear

€9 dog food
€6.38 strong flour (6th shop in third town though, it'd better be worth it )

Em I'm surprised he didn't mention he was working before now. Hopefully you've cleared the air although I'd be decidedly unimpressed that he'd regurgitated the money rubbish

Bloody long day at work and looks a lot like I will have to work on my day off tomorrow

Ds staying overnight at stbexh tomorrow night for forst time. Have hardly seen ds this week he's turned full teen barely left his room apart from his baking yesterday and then next week he'll be back to angry fighty teen because it'll be back to schoolwork

happier personally I think he’s bottling things up. I said to him I think he resents me because I work 4 days a week. He said not true but he wishes he could work less. But because he’s the higher earner he’s said that all the burden is on him. Which it isn’t. He earns around £10k more than me. Which is a lot but it’s not like I’m earning a pittance.

wolf apparently I should have known he was working because he was on his phone all the time. I didn’t know that though.

I knew when he interrupted me to go on a call. Or when he said he had to send emails. But not that he was doing this all the time.

Communication again. Sigh.

How you feeling about the sleep over wolf?
Enjoy the break if your can. Can ex do any school work with him?

Life it's what ds wants. I have no intention of it being regular at the moment. Ex offers to do homework but they don't do it properly and ds resents what he sees as his fun times being used for school

I see wolf. Difficult.

Thank you for dds Birthday wishes, she has had a good day.

Wolf, that does sound difficult.

So em on the day you’re off work can dh not make the most of it and get lots of work done? That would make sense if he did that.

Happy Birthday to your dd curvy