March Frugaleers continued. In which we report spends, share money saving advice, chat about pretty much everything and post pet pics.

[Cagliostro]

Welcome one and all! Newbies and lurkers always welcome 💐

Oh dear. or for everyone having a bad day. Remember, all of us Frugaleers are FABULOUS, so ignore anyone who says different!

Unescorted, sorry to hear what you are going through.

Thanks for the welcome back, Tayto. Good to catch up with you too, through your update.

Spends: £1.30 cash (Gregg's vegetable pasty for lunch. Le yum!), and on my card, £26 waxing and gel polish removal and £6.70 in Home Bargains, on all sorts!

I must have a read of that holiday thread too, Sunny.

Fluffy Whatever he said, it's not true. He's probably just hungry.

Not giving an opinion on Mother’s Day Flowers. I’d already said there all wrapping. He’s old enough to choose flowers but sainsbos are taking the piss. So I’m selfish apparently. He doesn’t have to do anything usually but I’m still a selfish person according to him. Let’s overlook all the mornings I get up an hour earlier than I need to to do him tea and sandwiches shall we.

Don’t worry, I have my silver bullet and it’s a fucking good one I’m saving for when everyone’s passed away and it’s hard not to fire it on nights like this. I can wait. My willpower is really good. I’ve kept quiet for 12 years and I can do it for another 20 if needed.

Things aren’t what he thinks they are and I keep quiet for the most part.

So I’m in the sofa “carrying it on” aka crying but I have wine.

Gosh fluffy sorry your DH is giving you a hard time!

My imagination is running wild with the silver bullet though

Oh Fluffy and need
My relative spent years in a marriage like this ,putting up with crap .She is now gone and my heart breaks that she had such a miserable time.Her DC were badly affected as well

Fuck the tea and sandwiches Fluffy and drop your bomb!
Life is way to short

Thing is, you're right. Mother's Day flowers are a fucking rip off. Half the flowers and twice the price. Die after a couple of days. He knows this, that's why he's defensive and has been an arse. Maintain, you are right. But no right to be mean to you. Depends if you can take that or not. I usually do, but there's the MH issue to consider there.

Alternative is to LTB

Fluffy sorry dh is being a knob, put a shit load of mustard in his sandwiches (anyone remember the lighthouse keepers lunch?) x

If I drop the bomb tonight there’s no going back.

We know other family secrets that would would devastate and we keep quiet.

Meh.

I’m so disappointed in him. Where’s my Mother’s Day card? Oh that’s right yes, mil never mentioned the whole “he needs to give a sample so he can have kids” thing before chemo didn’t she?.

Ah need sorry, but you know bi-polar... but yes its hard to live with I know, , my exH was like this , but also pretty horrid even when 'up' unlike yours .. and running for your own mental health.is the thing . You are one strong lady you know..

fluffy for you also .. you are also strong.. let no one tell you not.. sorry your weekend has been ruined by him being a prat..

..at least we have here to come for solidarity and sounding off ..

My DH had a good go at l killing me this evening but not deliberately .. he cooked us a lovely baked fish for dinner . I unfortunately got a bone stuck (what feels sideways) in throat and have now thrown most of it up , but bone still feels stuck.. I think its just where its scratched me though.. Poor DH thought he was going to have to drive me to A&E or call am ambulance ..I love fish and this has never happened to me before ..looks like ill live though.. But also dissolves fish bones though doesn't it? anyway anesthetises the pain anyway i reckon ..Tomorrow i will go back to

fluff I have just seen your update.. sounds like a tangled web indeed.. but I do think this is a safe space if you need to vent at all..
(and a handhold if you need one) x

We’re going to have to wait potentially 20 years to find out the silver bullet fluffy? That’s a lot of chat

Hope your DH comes out of it soon need. Is his to do with work pressure, or just ill health or something else?

Flowers on all hall mark holidays are extortion. Is it a defense thing? My dh can be an arse if he is wrong but doesn't want to admit it. That must be a pretty big bullet

How the throat is better now laksa.

It could be but he is genuinely aggrieved. It’s a huge bullet and that’s her punishment is that Dh will remember what I tells him after everyone’s gone. I think of it every time she asks something of him.

Cancerians nurture grudges like other nurture pot plants, and I can wait as long as needed. I never forget.

I don’t resent people who get to have babies, I still think it’s the right thing to do and I love kids. People assume you hate kids if you don’t have them.

Sorry to all those having tough evenings.

fluffy you alone know whether it’s right to drop the bomb. I’m dying of curiosity here.

laksa yes wine dissolves fish bones. As does gin.

I’m knackered. We took ds to see dh’s godfathers family. His daughter is ds’ godmother. Or will be. It was sad. But nice. He (ds) is such a performer. Cuddled everyone, smiled, showed off his teefs, chatted away. Best boy. Dh bought flowers. £25 in M&S. It was a mother’s day bouquet I think but very pretty. They were appreciative. But I think preferred ds.

I’m intrigued about mother’s day. I will be sad if the day isn’t marked somehow. You know, as it’s my first one.

Fluffy
Are you saying that your MIl stopped him giving a sample by not telling him or they hid the fact there was a sample from you?
If its the former surely his consultant would have informed him of the facts during consent ?
She sounds like a piece of work
Xx

Fluffy I'm so sorry your DH is being an arse. Giving you some hugs and expensive . Vent about him all you like but be careful not to say too much here about the silver bullet. You never know when a Daily Mail hack might be snooping around.

Didn’t tell him quite, which we didn’t find out till we’d decided against sperm doner. It’s huge to conceive a child knowing they can’t find their bio dad till 18. Bigger than you think. The man in the next bed has kids now.

Em I would be very surprised if you don’t get a good first mother’s day. Very surprised.

Laska Your spouse is the most likely person to bump you off at the best of times but I think there’s more reliable methods than fish bones. It does feel like it’s still there when it’s gone down.

Thank you everyone, I feel very alone tonight and you’ve all helped.

Oh fluffy (daffs from my mums garden). Deciding to not have a baby is a bigger decision than simply getting pg I think. Drink wine. Stuff the flowers.

I'm poorly, sinus thing I think, and my brain is fuzzy. Got home from dd3's birthday tea, and went to bed.

My big little girl has had a great day. And I didn't go mad on presents for once, and avoided the £££ supermarket trip the day before a dc birthday I usually do. Just £60 yesterday, and food budget used, as it was food. Usual fare for us, pizza party, cake, plus jelly.

My skip has gone. Finished filling it yesterday, and hid upstairs while he came for it, in case he knocked and said, "sorry missus, this stuff is dusgusting I'm not taking it!"

I spent £16 today on 2 bags of seed potatoes for me (charlotte and international kidney, they're Jersey Royals without the Jersey) and 8 baby fushia plants for my mum, my standard gift to her, flowers for later!

Cake, unicorn with a meringue horn. It kinda worked. Choc fudge (nigella malteser cake from feast, most excellent cake recipie) inside with turquoise buttercream with unicorn sprinkles mixed in.

Fingers crossed for you unescorted hope everything turns out ok. And need hang in there! Hope he rallies soon. As laska says, at least he's a good guy when he's feeling ok. And good news all round for your dc, they are a direct credit to you.

I read the holiday thread earlier. Phew at the "oh we regularly spend 18k a year on holidays, doesn't everyone? But it's ok, as I shop in Aldi! We dream of a foreign holiday, but with 6 of us, just renewing passports is beyond us at the mo. And like sunny I travelled extensively (when working), so I am happy to just be home. But I really want to take the dc away before they are adults, even if it is just once.

Unescorted hope your scare turns out to be nothing

Need well done to your dd and hope your dh's mood picks up soon. It must help that when he's better he's one of the good guys.

Fluffy sorry your feeling bad and that your dh was horrible to you. Hopefully he didn't mean it and will apologise soon ( and not ones wrapped in excess cellophane )

Just renewed my house insurance and have saved £100 - hope I haven't made a terrible mistake with this....

Why on earth would she do that ! Fluffy
I have no words ...
Im not sure how I feel about Mothers Day -of course Im happy to get flowers etc but I cant help feeling it must be so painful for those who have lost their Mum, their babies,children or have been unable to have them.
Heart wrenching

fluffy your mil sounds a right arse. Maybe your dh thinks the same but because of all the mother's day hype feels conflicted. No reason to take it out on you.
I hate mother's Day.... I can't help thinking that if they don't appreciate me the other 364 days then the can stick half wilted over priced flowers where the sun does not shine. One bad card and a meal designed for those without their own teeth does not mean they can take me for granted all the rest of the time. Fortunately they are quick studies and have realised a cuddle or a unprompted "love you" is the quickest way to turn me into a push over.

Need hopefully he is nearly through this patch. It is so tiring having to be a constant emotional crutch.

for Fluffy and Need. Sorry you are both having a rough time.

Great unicorn cake!

So far Mother's Day involved changing a very leaky dirty nappy and associated clothes and bedding at 5.45 am. I feel very special

I'm so sorry you have all that to deal with Fluffy. I had no idea. I'll try to appreciate mother's day today more, for realising what it means.

Take care need.

Happy first mother's day Em.

Well done on dislodging the fish bone Laska. I got a cactus spine sort of thing from a chocolate cake stuck in my tonsil once. I was very glad that I owned special sciency tweezers that night.

I've got to a run an outdoorsy beaver thing today and I'm tired-to-death but I'm going to go do my best. Wish me luck if you have a minute. Zzzzzz

Caught up to here

Fluffy & need sorry ye both had rough evenings.

I'd an emotionally draining day yesterday told two friends, my mother and my sister about the separation. As predicted my mother cried. No one was surprised, which I knew would be the case. Dm tried to persuade me to try one last time, but I explained I've been doing that for years. I don't think she got the severity of the abuse so I had to detail the physical abuse to her We discussed the practical issues after that. My friends both offered me refuge whenever I might need it. My dsis offered emotional support & help with dc when she can.

Totally agree re the flowers, I'd prefer them on a random Tuesday than on Hallmark holidays.

I spent approx €40 on lunch for myself dsil and dc, another €30 in Aldi including food for Mother's Day dinner, two lovely snack & dip Tupperware containers, presents for dm, and a little positivity slogans display thing for me.