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Original poster

Friends don't / won't test

165 replies

Chewbecca · 31/12/2021 16:34

Before we go out this evening.

I just think that is a little rude of them! It's for our benefit, not their own so it just seems polite to do it for the people you're seeing.

WWYD? If anything.

OP posts:
Original poster
Chewbecca · 31/12/2021 17:40

And I also agree going to a restaurant is a relatively risky activity.
Despite this, I think why wouldn't you do a simple, free test before you went to lower the risk for your friends, even if just a smidgeon.

OP posts:
Original poster
Chewbecca · 31/12/2021 17:41

We don't have enough good friends to block them Grin

OP posts:
BrotherHelp · 31/12/2021 17:41

We had family members not want to test to protect someone CEV who hadn’t been inside for any meet-ups. Their reasoning was that they didn’t want to have to cancel plans if they had covid but felt fine. CEV went as would have split the family for good if not agreed to go and have them not test. Although if they had said they were testing they were probably lying anyway.

Potatodrivers · 31/12/2021 17:42

Isn't this new variant not picked up as much as the previous ones?

Either way, I really wouldn't think too much about it considering you're going out for a meal. It would be more understandable if you were just going to be with them in one of your homes, but not when you're willingly going to be surrounded by strangers.
Different tables makes no difference what so ever. You're all in the same airspace.

ecceromani · 31/12/2021 17:43

I think you need to spell it out to them OP. The whole point is in case one of you is asymptomatic and unknowingly infects the others they spend whole evening with.

If I am arranging anything at the moment I say "can we all test 1st please?"

Stuffin · 31/12/2021 17:45

I do think this is a difference in how you feel about testing and covid risk.

I am not a covid denier before anyone starts. My DH was very ill with it but I didn't test positive when he did. Both of us fully boosted.

We don't test, see no point in doing an LFT when going out for meals or drinks in the pub but would test and isolate if it we had symptoms. If you were very stressed about us not testing but happy to sit in a restaurant when you have no idea on who might be there then I would feel like you probably weren't up for socialising.

whatatool · 31/12/2021 17:48

I think by saying you are you have made it pretty clear you'd expect them to as well.
If they aren't then it seems to me that they don't want to risk being positive and ruining their night out/plans over the next week.
Sadly your friends are a bit selfish.

Shallwegoforawalk · 31/12/2021 17:49

@Chewbecca

papyrus that's exactly what I think.

Though I haven't explicitly said 'would you please'. It is clear I expect it though!

Why do you think you have ANY "right" to "expect" anyone to do that? Confused it's entirely up to them and to think anything else about someone's autonomy is bonkers.
Original poster
Chewbecca · 31/12/2021 17:54

I'm really glad I started this thread because if we do talk about it this evening, I will now make sure I focus on 'i would feel a little more comfortable' than 'i think it is selfish / impolite' which I think is a much better angle so thank you very much!

OP posts:
Original poster
Chewbecca · 31/12/2021 17:57

Autonomy can be used as an excuse for selfishness IMO. They don't need give me details of their bowel movements or give me their firstborn child.
Doing a LFT and telling your friends the result before going to their home does not = loss of autonomy.

OP posts:
stairgates · 31/12/2021 18:02

If they have no symptoms then they shouldnt be testing anyway should they?

Blossom64265 · 31/12/2021 18:02

I would cancel the plans.

dittheringdoldrums · 31/12/2021 18:02

Ffs people make me so cross! Testing takes 20 seconds. If it picks up a positive, then it possibly prevents others from getting infected. Ok it won't pick up all positive cases but it won't make a situation more risky, only the same or less.
None of my friends would think this was a big ask. It's not "medical screening" as someone has dramatically put it.
@Chewbecca I think your friends are ridiculous!

AnyFucker · 31/12/2021 18:06

It’s covid soup out there tonight

If you haven’t already been infected in the last 3 months, prepare to test positive in the next 3-5 days

Don’t thank me

Isolated101 · 31/12/2021 18:07

Unfortunately you can’t even rely on LFT’s to be reliable. Christmas Day all our gathering had negative LFT’s before meeting, later the same day one member developed a headache so retested and got positive, at which point we all left. Since then 80% of the group have tested positive (various ages/vaccination status’) and have had a spectrum of symptoms. I would treat everyone as if they are a carrier regardless of test status.

Covidworries · 31/12/2021 18:08

@stairgates

Have you just woken up from a 2 yr sleep?
LFT are designed to be taken without symptoms. The take 15 to 30 minutes depending on type to show the result.
People have been asked to laterflo test 2 to 3 times a week if in work or school. More recently it has been heavily advised that everyone lft before meeting up with others or going into indoor venues.

PCR tests are the ones which are sent to lab and are for symptoms or to confirm a positive lft.

Original poster
Chewbecca · 31/12/2021 18:13

Yes, you should be taking LFT tests without symptoms.
Yes, we know they are not fully reliable, but they still detect some cases that wouldn't otherwise be detected therefore lower the risk a little bit.
Why wouldn't you?!

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Janeandjohnny · 31/12/2021 18:15

@Chewbecca

I'm not going to cancel because I don't want to ruin a friendship which I enjoy a lot.

I do think it is impolite of them.

But are you concerned about manners or infection? If its manners then fine but its a bit rich to get worried about them testing when you are going to a restaurant on NYE in the middle of a pandemic peak.....
stairgates · 31/12/2021 18:15

How often should we routinely be taking them? I thought they were running short and shouldnt be wasted?

Nonnymum · 31/12/2021 18:16

Yes they are selfish. We are going to friends and she asked if we would yes first. It's a reasonable request. I don't understand why anyone would object unless of course they didn't have any tests

GoldenOmber · 31/12/2021 18:18

None of my friends would think this was a big ask.

But she didn’t ask! She said she was doing it and asked if they were. Some people would interpret that as “I want you do to one yourself but I don’t want to directly ask you to” but a lot of people wouldn’t. Maybe they think “well if she really wanted us to she’d be asking us.”

It’s a reasonable thing to ask people at the moment but you do have to actually ASK, not hint around and hope they read your mind.

Original poster
Chewbecca · 31/12/2021 18:24

stairgates
Twice a week is a norm in many places, Wednesday and Sunday is what schools typically ask.
Bojo has said before you go out. I am obedient!

OP posts:
MrsSquirrel · 31/12/2021 18:25

@stairgates

How often should we routinely be taking them? I thought they were running short and shouldnt be wasted?
The recommendation is still to test twice a week.

Maybe they tested negative earlier in the week and think that's enough because they are following the guidelines.

Original poster
Chewbecca · 31/12/2021 18:25

Point taken re: hinting v asking

OP posts:
Stuffin · 31/12/2021 18:29

@Chewbecca

stairgates Twice a week is a norm in many places, Wednesday and Sunday is what schools typically ask. Bojo has said before you go out. I am obedient!
So you have decided that is required and therefore you want your friends to follow this.

Own it and ask outright then rather than suggest they are rude to have not followed some 'rule' you have decided. P.s. guidance is about managing your OWN risk assessment which won't be the same as your friends and certainly isn't law.

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