Page 3 | Friends don't / won't test

Chewbecca · 2021-12-31T16:34:55+00:00

Before we go out this evening. I just think that is a little rude of them! It's for our benefit, not their own so it just seems polite to do it for the people you're seeing. WWYD? If anything.

SarahJessicaParker1 · 31/12/2021 18:31

I agree you need to tell them explicitly that you want them to test rather than hinting / asking if they're going to.

Also, yes, it's covid soup out there. If you're worried make sure your table is far from other guests and wear your mask till you sit down.

I am a waitress near London fwiw and so far have managed not to get it. But, I do feel it is somewhat just a matter of time!

winnieanddaisy · 31/12/2021 18:31

DD is a nurse and she is having a party in our house tonight . She has asked everyone to test before they come as she is back in on the night shift tomorrow and doesn't want to risk leaving her colleagues short staffed .

Notthemessiah · 31/12/2021 18:38

That's a serious case of doublethink you have going on there OP. Happy to go out to a no doubt totally full restaurant on new year's eve yet also somehow still so worried about COVID that you're upset your friends aren't testing.

Maybe they're just able to see the pointlessness of it.

Original poster

Chewbecca · 31/12/2021 18:41

I haven't made up either of those rules?

Schools set the twice week. Bojo said before we go out. Neither set by me.

I do understand that there is risk going out! I also understand that taking a LFT before you go reduces that risk a little. So why wouldn't you.

OP posts:

Pootle40 · 31/12/2021 18:45

Well we wouldn't get on.....I never test either unless I actually had symptoms

Stuffin · 31/12/2021 18:46

@Chewbecca

I haven't made up either of those rules?

Schools set the twice week. Bojo said before we go out. Neither set by me.

I do understand that there is risk going out! I also understand that taking a LFT before you go reduces that risk a little. So why wouldn't you.

It isn't a 'rule'. It might reduce the risk a little bit lots of mights and ifs. Your friends clearly don't view it in the same way and neither do I. I didn't test when I went to a pub the other day.

If it matters to you so much say so and then if they don't want to then you have to decide whether to cancel or not. Personally I am happy to take my chance at getting covid and will eat inside with strangers.

Mistymountain · 31/12/2021 18:49

I'm pretty certain that they don't want to test because they don't want to cancel their plans, if they're positive, In fact they'd probably still go out, even if the test showed positive, so I think it's up to you really, as to whether you go with them or not. You're unlikely to know the truth.

tappitytaptap · 31/12/2021 18:49

I and a lot of people I know aren't testing routinely. On mumsnet this does not seem to be the done thing I know. None of my friends or family has asked or even suggested before meeting up.

Stuffin · 31/12/2021 18:50

And I would also view you as being overly reliant on lfts to make you feel 'safe' which I think is daft if you are happy to stay inside a restaurant with lots of people. I mean why would you rely on a test which isn't 100% especially when you can't police all the others including the staff in the restaurant. This is just a different view from your 'well why wouldn't you test'.

Dozer · 31/12/2021 18:52

YABU. You’re going to a restaurant!

Testing for schools is voluntary.

PineappleMojito · 31/12/2021 18:55

I would test before seeing anyone CEV. I also test for work. But if none of you are vulnerable and you’re going out to a restaurant where there will be lots of other people plus servers who may or may not have tested, I don’t really see the point. You’re accepting a degree of risk by going there anyway, as is everyone else attending.

Emilyontmoor · 31/12/2021 18:59

Chewbacca Totally agree, I look at going out in terms of risk/ benefit. If they test beforehand, however unreliable the tests, they reduce the risk side and make it a more relaxing experience for you, the benefit. If they don’t they are being inconsiderate of your feelings/ enjoyment.

If they really think sticking a stick up their nose is an invasive “medical test” too far they really are going to struggle with actual invasive medical tests, it’s hardly on a par with a smear test 😂

Everyone we have met up with in the past two weeks has done a test beforehand, and that has been especially true of the working age twenty somethings who have had the highest case numbers. They know only too well how transmissible this is, and how many friends / colleagues have spent Christmas alone as a result of it. They just want to get safely to the end of the celebrations.

I think it is more likely just that they have not yet been bought up against the reality of Omichron unlike our twenty somethings and been prompted to give it any thought. I would make your feelings clear.

BoredZelda · 31/12/2021 18:59

I agree it is selfish behaviour but wouldn't end a friendship over it.

Not sure what you’re looking for with this post.

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 31/12/2021 19:06

@Mistymountain

I'm pretty certain that they don't want to test because they don't want to cancel their plans, if they're positive, In fact they'd probably still go out, even if the test showed positive, so I think it's up to you really, as to whether you go with them or not. You're unlikely to know the truth.

Do you know them personally?

brogueish · 31/12/2021 19:06

What @notthemessiah said
If you don’t feel comfortable not knowing the covid status of those around you, don’t go out.

Lolamento · 31/12/2021 19:15

If they do not test for wherever reason is up to you if you want to take the risk. If you were doing this at your or their house it would make more sense for them to test but you are going out to a public place. God knows if other people are testing.

BogRollBOGOF · 31/12/2021 19:22

@Isolated101

Unfortunately you can’t even rely on LFT’s to be reliable. Christmas Day all our gathering had negative LFT’s before meeting, later the same day one member developed a headache so retested and got positive, at which point we all left. Since then 80% of the group have tested positive (various ages/vaccination status’) and have had a spectrum of symptoms. I would treat everyone as if they are a carrier regardless of test status.

Similar here. Part-way through Christmas Day my throat went scratchy. Clear LFT that evening. Boxing Day morning, faint positive on test A (last of the throat type) negative on the nasal only. Fortunately our socialising was Boxing Day onwards so no one was exposed, but I could easily have infected family on Christmas Day with clear lateral flows and a clear fully-vaccinated concience.

Particularly with a restaurant, there are so many extra layers of risk factor.

LFTs can filter some cases out, but they don't mean someone is "safe" because it was clear, and they're not worth causing friction in friendships over.

As to why not? Some people do find them very unpleasant, nose bleeds, strong gag reactions. They're in short supply at present so people may want to conserve their supply for a more important situation (e.g. visiting a vulnerable person, checking after close contact, they might not have been exposed to any risk in days)

psychomath · 31/12/2021 19:30

I don't think you should tell them when you get there OP - for all you know they'd be happy to do one now if you asked outright, but by then it'll be too late. Either tell them now that you'd feel better if they did or don't mention it at all. No point (potentially) making them feel bad when they can no longer do anything about it.

FWIW I probably wouldn't bother testing if I was meeting a small group of non-vulnerable people, and if one of them asked if I was planning to I'd interpret it as them deciding whether they should, not a hint that they wanted me to. But I'd be happy to test first at their request and wouldn't be at all annoyed that they'd asked.

VintageCookbook · 31/12/2021 19:32

@Chewbecca

I haven't made up either of those rules?

Schools set the twice week. Bojo said before we go out. Neither set by me.

I do understand that there is risk going out! I also understand that taking a LFT before you go reduces that risk a little. So why wouldn't you.

It's not a 'rule' though is it.

Ellieboolou33 · 31/12/2021 19:40

Unless they have symptoms then why do they need to test? I know many can be asymptomatic but I am assuming that you are not vulnerable as you'd not go out.

My NYE resolution is to not talk about covid 😖

Frazzled2207 · 31/12/2021 19:42

@BasicCarnage

I'd just say 'we're going to do a test before joining you, just to be on the safe side' and hope that they decide to do the same. Everyone we're seeing this evening are doing tests before meeting.

This To be fair I am sure that lots of people who would otherwise test can’t get their hands on one

ashorterday · 31/12/2021 19:44

Has anyone else seen on bbc and Twitter that it's better to swab the throat before doing the nose, even on the nose only tests? They are picking up positives when people have been negative on nose only (they are suggesting it makes them more reliable)

Waxonwaxoff0 · 31/12/2021 19:49

Me and my friends don't ask each other if we do LFTs before meeting, nor do my family, because we aren't bothered.

VintageCookbook · 31/12/2021 19:53

@Waxonwaxoff0

Me and my friends don't ask each other if we do LFTs before meeting, nor do my family, because we aren't bothered.

Same here.

I'd die of shock if DM asked me to 😂

Aderyn21 · 31/12/2021 19:55

Honestly I can't see why you are mad. You asked if they were planning to, which is not at all the same as asking them specifically to. And clearly, if you were that worried you wouldn't be going out to a restaurant!
They haven't been rude at all - they've just decided that there's little value in testing for them. Up to you to do your own risk assessment.

Personally, I'm not wasting my lateral flows and am keeping them for if I'm seeing someone especially vulnerable or if anyone at home developed symptoms.