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Original poster

Friends don't / won't test

165 replies

Chewbecca · 31/12/2021 16:34

Before we go out this evening.

I just think that is a little rude of them! It's for our benefit, not their own so it just seems polite to do it for the people you're seeing.

WWYD? If anything.

OP posts:
Muchtoomuchtodo · 31/12/2021 16:36

Are you just going to theirs or are you going somewhere much bigger where you won’t have any idea if everyone else has tested?

TooWicked · 31/12/2021 16:38

Depending on where you’re going tonight you’re going to be in close proximity with a number of people who don’t and won’t test.

Having said that, personally I’d think your friends were selfish bellends, and I’d reconsider my plans to spend the evening with them.

Original poster
Chewbecca · 31/12/2021 16:50

Drinks at theirs then out for dinner. So more people will be in the restaurant but they're the only ones on our table.

I agree it is selfish behaviour but wouldn't end a friendship over it.

I have asked them if they're testing and they just said 'we don't plan to'

OP posts:
lljkk · 31/12/2021 17:05

I wouldn't go out, nor would I test.
I have one friend who wants me test even if I just pop in for a cup of tea.
I don't think she's "that" vulnerable but she obviously disagrees.

I can do without a social life rather than deal with the paranoia. Hermitude suits me.

Original poster
Chewbecca · 31/12/2021 17:07

I am a social being!
Pandemic has been better for hermitudes.

OP posts:
TheNoonBell · 31/12/2021 17:09

Sounds like they have had COVID. I find a lot of those who have had it no longer fear it, myself included.

Original poster
Chewbecca · 31/12/2021 17:11

They haven't had it

OP posts:
Stuffin · 31/12/2021 17:21

Personally I think it is pointless if you are going to sit inside a restaurant with lots of strangers.

If you are that bothered then don't go.

Papyrus · 31/12/2021 17:24

I don't understand why anyone wouldn't test, if a friend asks you. It takes 2 minutes out of the day. What possible reason could there be not to test as a common courtesy?

Original poster
Chewbecca · 31/12/2021 17:25

I'm not going to cancel because I don't want to ruin a friendship which I enjoy a lot.

I do think it is impolite of them.

OP posts:
Original poster
Chewbecca · 31/12/2021 17:26

papyrus that's exactly what I think.

Though I haven't explicitly said 'would you please'. It is clear I expect it though!

OP posts:
LetsGoFlyAKiteee · 31/12/2021 17:27

Do they have any tests?

Rainbowsandstorms · 31/12/2021 17:29

If you’ve not explicitly asked them to test I’d just explain that you’d feel more comfortable if they would and ask if they’d be willing to do it, as you’re looking forward to seeing them but would feel more relaxed about it given the very high rates. It sounds like they think you were just asking if they planned to, rather than understanding that you meant please will you test.

beattieedny · 31/12/2021 17:29

It's rude of them not to and to say so. They should just say they have. But it's rude to ask them too. You're all BTA, I think. Either go and enjoy or stay at home. You'll probably get covid in a busy restaurant anyway.

GoldenOmber · 31/12/2021 17:31

@Chewbecca

papyrus that's exactly what I think.

Though I haven't explicitly said 'would you please'. It is clear I expect it though!

Is it? Maybe they don’t think so.

Agreed that it would be good of them to test for your sake if you asked. But I don’t think you can get annoyed with them for not doing as you ask if you haven’t outright asked it.

ToooutThere · 31/12/2021 17:31

@Chewbecca

I'm not going to cancel because I don't want to ruin a friendship which I enjoy a lot.

I do think it is impolite of them.

impolite is not the word I'd use... inconsiderate maybe, but what is impolite about not testing?!
MrsSquirrel · 31/12/2021 17:32

People have really different views about health and disease. It's not necessarily rudeness, it may be a genuine difference of opinion about the value of testing.

Why should anyone have a medical screening test they don't want just to be polite?

BasicCarnage · 31/12/2021 17:32

I'd just say 'we're going to do a test before joining you, just to be on the safe side' and hope that they decide to do the same. Everyone we're seeing this evening are doing tests before meeting.

SilverGlitterBaubles · 31/12/2021 17:32

I think if you are going out to a restaurant, you are playing Covid dodgeball anyway and have no idea if the waiters or people on the next table are positive or have not tested.

beentoldcomputersaysno · 31/12/2021 17:34

@Papyrus

I don't understand why anyone wouldn't test, if a friend asks you. It takes 2 minutes out of the day. What possible reason could there be not to test as a common courtesy?
This. At least they haven't lied about it (saw that on another post this week, which led to the 'friends' passing on covid).
Original poster
Chewbecca · 31/12/2021 17:34

They do have tests, definitely as we have them a box! One was needed for work.

I agree, I should be explicit in as nice a way as possible. This wording is tricky though, DH thinks I should leave it, he is ever the peacekeeper and thinks an explicit ask would irritate and create an atmosphere.

At least if we do pick it up from the restaurant, it will be less likely from the people we are going with! It is an airy and spacious restaurant, not tightly packed.

OP posts:
ToooutThere · 31/12/2021 17:36

@Rainbowsandstorms

If you’ve not explicitly asked them to test I’d just explain that you’d feel more comfortable if they would and ask if they’d be willing to do it, as you’re looking forward to seeing them but would feel more relaxed about it given the very high rates. It sounds like they think you were just asking if they planned to, rather than understanding that you meant please will you test.
OP knows them best, but it may be too late to have that conversation now, it would put a damper on the whole evening. I'd just leave it. You should have both agreed to test when arranging to spend New Year's Eve together.
Original poster
Chewbecca · 31/12/2021 17:36

I'd just say 'we're going to do a test before joining you, just to be on the safe side' and hope that they decide to do the same.
What basiccarnage said here is pretty much what I have done already. Followed up with 'are you testing' to which the answer was 'not planning to'

OP posts:
Original poster
Chewbecca · 31/12/2021 17:38

Everyone else I know is testing before they meet up this evening too - just like we did on Christmas day!

I will get over it. When we arrive, I might say that I would feel more comfortable if they did. F2F easier.

OP posts:
Lacedwithgrace · 31/12/2021 17:39

I'd cancel and block them