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Covid

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So disappointed that my mum may have risked Christmas.

516 replies

DontWantTheRivalry · 17/12/2021 11:14

My mum and dad love hosting Christmas Day - it’s been that way for about 15 years and all the family get together and it’s been a long running family tradition. There’s usually about 10-12 people in total.

Last year both parents (but especially my mum) were really upset that the family Christmas Day couldn’t go ahead because they see the event as such an important part of our family tradition. Some family members live in a different area of the country so it’s always been a lovey opportunity to get together.

Anyhow - over the last few months my parents have been getting into the festive mood and have been really excited about being able to host Christmas Day again and we’ve all really been looking forward to it. We all bring food contributions so the work load isn’t all on my parent’s shoulders and so we’ve all been planning it together etc.

However, I spoke to my mum last night and apparently on Wednesday night she went to a concert with some of her work friends to see a local band. She said it was in a small concert hall (so no ventilation) where everyone was singing and nobody had to wear masks. She said there were about 300 people there.

I was just gobsmacked.

I asked her why she would take that risk 10 days before Christmas when she is hosting everyone and especially when three of the family members are over 70 years old (although they are generally very well for their age).

She said “I won’t catch it”
I asked how she knew and she said after a very long pause, “I just won’t”

She said that as she is triple vaccinated she will be fine and that she had “been good” as she had her App turned on Confused I felt so exasperated and told her the App doesn’t stop people picking Covid up from someone else though!

I gently told her that I thought she was mad to have taken the risk.

I’m so disappointed - not so much for all of the family because if my mum/dad did get unwell and had to isolate then the rest of us would have Christmas Dinner somewhere else (me and husband would be happy to host) but I know my mum will be devastated again if she has to miss out on our traditional family celebration.

I just don’t understand why she’d take the risk.

I spoke to my sister about it this morning and she thinks I was out of order to express how I felt or try to make our mum feel guilty, and yes, maybe I was and my intention certainly wasn’t to guilt-trip her, but I was just so shocked when she told me.

I really hope she doesn’t catch it because she’s going to be so upset if she has to miss out on Christmas Day.

I know it was my mum’s risk to take but if she gets unwell I’m still going to feel so upset for her. It will put such a dampener on Christmas Day if she can’t be a part of it with the rest of us.

I just had to vent!!

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 17/12/2021 11:16

Are you and all the other family members staying in and isolating for the weeks before Xmas?

mrsbyers · 17/12/2021 11:18

I think you’re being mean , any one of you could pick up the virus in the next week in any setting

WheelieBinPrincess · 17/12/2021 11:18

Put her in the stocks and get all the locals to throw rotten veg at her, a pox on the woman!

Seriously. Stop trying to police other people’s enjoyment for the sake of your ideal Christmas. It’s really tiresome! She’s an adult, she made a choice, chances are she’ll be fine.

CurtainTroubles · 17/12/2021 11:19

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at the user's request

GiltEdges · 17/12/2021 11:19

@SleepingStandingUp

Are you and all the other family members staying in and isolating for the weeks before Xmas?
Well, quite.
Pegasussnail · 17/12/2021 11:20

Oh dear.
I can sort of see your point but life has to go on.

Biscuitsneeded · 17/12/2021 11:21

Well, the concert was 10 clear days before your family Christmas so she will know by then if she has been infected and just won't be able to be there. she isn't risking anyone else's health except your father's. Her choice to make, surely?

PurpleDaisies · 17/12/2021 11:22

I agree with your sister. The guilt trip was out of order and you should apologise.

Going to the concert was clearly important to your mum. She’s allowed to have a life that doesn’t just revolve around you.

Neverfittedin85 · 17/12/2021 11:22

I think you're out of order tbh.
You're mum is free to do as she pleases, if it worries you don't have to go I guess.

tillyandmilly · 17/12/2021 11:23

Fingers crossed she will be fine! It is spreading very fast though - I understand your worries - as I am early 50’s and had covid - still suffering 3 weeks later with breathing problems!

Peakedtoosoon · 17/12/2021 11:23

Shock, woman has night out with friends.

Have you/are you and your family staying home for 2 weeks beforehand?

I agree with your sister, you were wrong to make your mum feel guilty for having a nice evening.

Neverfittedin85 · 17/12/2021 11:23

Having said that I hope your mum remains well.

PurpleDaisies · 17/12/2021 11:23

I’m not sure you can gently tell someone they’re mad to have taken a risk like had.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 17/12/2021 11:23

God you’re being ridiculous. Why piss on her chips when she’s actually enjoyed something?

You can’t accept someone’s hospitality and then try to control their actions beforehand. At least you’ve got time to put a few bits in the freezer just in case the worst comes to the worst

(There’s a very large chicken in mine just in case it all goes wrong!)

WimpoleHat · 17/12/2021 11:23

YABU, I’m afraid! Your mum’s an adult. You don’t get to make those choices for her because it doesn’t suit you….

madisonbridges · 17/12/2021 11:23

I am very pro vaccine and supported lockdowns. But when does it stop? Will you be expecting them to give up all pre Christmas activities for all foreseeable Christmases? Because new strains of covid are never going away.

livinthedream1995 · 17/12/2021 11:24

Agreeing with others that you’re being mean. She’s an adult with capacity to make her own decisions.

Seeline · 17/12/2021 11:24

So is your mum not actually going to work? Is she not going shopping?

Are none of your family or any of the other families going out at all?

I would have thought the greatest risk to your elderly relatives us 10-12 people squeezed into a house with multiple generations on Christmas day, not missing a Christmas meal.

NewbieAlert · 17/12/2021 11:24

Is she the sort of person who would take regular lfts? Is she is, I wouldn’t be too worried, as you say it’s her risk to take.
If she’s the sort who would press ahead at all costs, then YANBU.
This is coming from someone whose parents also have the ‘I won’t get it’ mentality and who turned up for a family holiday with new persistent coughs with no intention whatsoever of getting PCRs.

RobinPenguins · 17/12/2021 11:25

I agree with your sister. If anyone’s now put a dampener on Christmas it’s you!

DontWantTheRivalry · 17/12/2021 11:25

Well, the concert was 10 clear days before your family Christmas so she will know by then if she has been infected and just won't be able to be there. she isn't risking anyone else's health except your father's. Her choice to make, surely?

Absolutely, I’m not disputing that.

I’m just shocked that she went because she is the one who will be the most devastated if she can’t be part of our Christmas celebrations. That’s genuinely why I’m so surprised because I know how sad she will feel if she does catch it and has to miss out.

OP posts:
BirdyBirdyTweetTweet · 17/12/2021 11:25

YABU.

PurpleDaisies · 17/12/2021 11:26

I’m just shocked that she went because she is the one who will be the most devastated if she can’t be part of our Christmas celebrations. That’s genuinely why I’m so surprised because I know how sad she will feel if she does catch it and has to miss out.

How patronising. You know better than her how she will feel?
She is a grown up. Stop acting as if she is a child.

Figgygal · 17/12/2021 11:26

I'd think she was nuts too if she values Christmas that much

Peakedtoosoon · 17/12/2021 11:27

Maybe she doesn't love doing all the work as much as she lets you think she does Grin

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