Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

So disappointed that my mum may have risked Christmas.

516 replies

DontWantTheRivalry · 17/12/2021 11:14

My mum and dad love hosting Christmas Day - it’s been that way for about 15 years and all the family get together and it’s been a long running family tradition. There’s usually about 10-12 people in total.

Last year both parents (but especially my mum) were really upset that the family Christmas Day couldn’t go ahead because they see the event as such an important part of our family tradition. Some family members live in a different area of the country so it’s always been a lovey opportunity to get together.

Anyhow - over the last few months my parents have been getting into the festive mood and have been really excited about being able to host Christmas Day again and we’ve all really been looking forward to it. We all bring food contributions so the work load isn’t all on my parent’s shoulders and so we’ve all been planning it together etc.

However, I spoke to my mum last night and apparently on Wednesday night she went to a concert with some of her work friends to see a local band. She said it was in a small concert hall (so no ventilation) where everyone was singing and nobody had to wear masks. She said there were about 300 people there.

I was just gobsmacked.

I asked her why she would take that risk 10 days before Christmas when she is hosting everyone and especially when three of the family members are over 70 years old (although they are generally very well for their age).

She said “I won’t catch it”
I asked how she knew and she said after a very long pause, “I just won’t”

She said that as she is triple vaccinated she will be fine and that she had “been good” as she had her App turned on Confused I felt so exasperated and told her the App doesn’t stop people picking Covid up from someone else though!

I gently told her that I thought she was mad to have taken the risk.

I’m so disappointed - not so much for all of the family because if my mum/dad did get unwell and had to isolate then the rest of us would have Christmas Dinner somewhere else (me and husband would be happy to host) but I know my mum will be devastated again if she has to miss out on our traditional family celebration.

I just don’t understand why she’d take the risk.

I spoke to my sister about it this morning and she thinks I was out of order to express how I felt or try to make our mum feel guilty, and yes, maybe I was and my intention certainly wasn’t to guilt-trip her, but I was just so shocked when she told me.

I really hope she doesn’t catch it because she’s going to be so upset if she has to miss out on Christmas Day.

I know it was my mum’s risk to take but if she gets unwell I’m still going to feel so upset for her. It will put such a dampener on Christmas Day if she can’t be a part of it with the rest of us.

I just had to vent!!

OP posts:
puppeteer · 23/12/2021 14:13

Did you miss the bit where OP said she's a nurse working with premature babies?

Err. Actually, I did. That is a good reason.

Sorry @DontWantTheRivalry. Getting a bit ahead of myself I think today.

BlackCatz · 23/12/2021 14:13

@CharlotteRose90

Aww what a shame. She took a risk and it’s not gone in her favour. Next year she’ll think twice hopefully. Christmas isn’t ruined go and celebrate with the family you can. It’s their own fault.
God, how patronising.

How do you know it even came from the gig?

CharlotteRose90 · 23/12/2021 14:43

@BlackCatz because it clearly came from somewhere. Her mums picked it up from being careless and selfish . It’s pretty selfish to attend anything like that so close to Christmas especially not wearing a mask. That’s why this virus isn’t going away.

LittleBabyCheeses · 23/12/2021 14:46

Assuming the OP’s mum had pre bought tickets for the concert, who are those who say it was ‘selfish’ for her to go expecting to take the financial hit? Do you think her mum should have not been ‘selfish’ and sucked up losing the money, or do you think she should have asked for a refund and the venue should have sucked up losing the money?
We attended all the things we had booked up until Christmas because we’d paid for them. We don’t get to go out all that much, and we really didn’t want to lose £100’s in tickets. I think it would have been selfish of other people I’d they’d have expected me to, TBH.

BlackCatz · 23/12/2021 14:56

[quote CharlotteRose90]@BlackCatz because it clearly came from somewhere. Her mums picked it up from being careless and selfish . It’s pretty selfish to attend anything like that so close to Christmas especially not wearing a mask. That’s why this virus isn’t going away.[/quote]
Could've been picked up at the supermarket for all you know. How selfish!

Egghead68 · 23/12/2021 15:32

Could've been picked up at the supermarket for all you know. How selfish

Apart from the friends she attended the event with also came down with it

DontWantTheRivalry · 23/12/2021 16:32

Apart from the friends she attended the event with also came down with it

Sorry, I wasn’t very clear. My mum’s friends have had similar symptoms to my mum so she’s assuming they’ve got it, they haven’t yet had any PCR confirmations though I expect they’ve taken tests.

My mum has told him to still come to mine on Christmas Day (LFT dependant) but he obviously won’t leave her alone which is completely understandable.

We’re all just feeling a bit low about it, but there’s nothing that can be done to change anything so we are just going to try and enjoy the day regardless.

OP posts:
CharlotteRose90 · 23/12/2021 16:49

@BlackCatz and yet Op has said her mums friends have the symptoms too which probably means they’ve all got it. Coincidence though yeah 😂. It is selfish and if you don’t see it that’s your problem. Anyone with a right mind wouldn’t go out so close to Christmas if they wanted a decent family Christmas

BlackCatz · 23/12/2021 16:51

[quote CharlotteRose90]@BlackCatz and yet Op has said her mums friends have the symptoms too which probably means they’ve all got it. Coincidence though yeah 😂. It is selfish and if you don’t see it that’s your problem. Anyone with a right mind wouldn’t go out so close to Christmas if they wanted a decent family Christmas[/quote]
You love the word 'selfish' don't you? 😂

Wish the handwringers on here would find another word to use. Fucking boring now.

vickyc90 · 23/12/2021 17:09

@DontWantTheRivalry

Apart from the friends she attended the event with also came down with it

Sorry, I wasn’t very clear. My mum’s friends have had similar symptoms to my mum so she’s assuming they’ve got it, they haven’t yet had any PCR confirmations though I expect they’ve taken tests.

My mum has told him to still come to mine on Christmas Day (LFT dependant) but he obviously won’t leave her alone which is completely understandable.

We’re all just feeling a bit low about it, but there’s nothing that can be done to change anything so we are just going to try and enjoy the day regardless.

Honestly regardless off what you do for a living I would have her over if you are having your dad over chances are he's incubating it anyway as doubt they are being strict about social distancing. You mistake was getting her tested.

Unless you want to spend Xmas alone chances are by new year you will be a contact of someone who has tested positive

LovePoppy · 23/12/2021 17:31

@DontWantTheRivalry

My mum’s PCR came back positive and two of the friends she went with have also got it as well.

In her text she says she’s devastated Sad

I bet she’s regretting that concert now
LittleBabyCheeses · 23/12/2021 17:33

[quote CharlotteRose90]@BlackCatz and yet Op has said her mums friends have the symptoms too which probably means they’ve all got it. Coincidence though yeah 😂. It is selfish and if you don’t see it that’s your problem. Anyone with a right mind wouldn’t go out so close to Christmas if they wanted a decent family Christmas[/quote]
Who do you think should have paid for her mums tickets then?

DontWantTheRivalry · 23/12/2021 17:39

Honestly regardless off what you do for a living I would have her over

Really??

So if you had a sick newborn in hospital, it wouldn’t bother you if three days earlier your nurse had knowingly had Christmas lunch with her Covid positive mum?

Blimey.

OP posts:
CharlotteRose90 · 23/12/2021 17:50

@LittleBabyCheeses in her mums situation I’d expect her mum to pay for the ticket still but not go. I’ve had to cancel things this Christmas and still pay for it. Shows how different people are. It’s sad she took the risk and now has to pay for it. They can celebrate Christmas in January.

AdoptDontShop · 23/12/2021 17:54

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

DontWantTheRivalry · 23/12/2021 18:21

Oliver Cromwell? What’s he got to do with this?

OP posts:
LittleBabyCheeses · 23/12/2021 18:24

[quote CharlotteRose90]@LittleBabyCheeses in her mums situation I’d expect her mum to pay for the ticket still but not go. I’ve had to cancel things this Christmas and still pay for it. Shows how different people are. It’s sad she took the risk and now has to pay for it. They can celebrate Christmas in January.[/quote]
Yes, I thought you’d say that.

pucelleauxblanchesmains · 23/12/2021 18:45

@LovePoppy Very glad you get to feel so smug and spiteful, the true meaning of Christmas.

pucelleauxblanchesmains · 23/12/2021 18:48

@DontWantTheRivalry Because you think ~God~ the virus is going to punish us for having fun. And don't even start on the guilt tripping because you work in the NHS.

vickyc90 · 23/12/2021 18:58

@DontWantTheRivalry

Honestly regardless off what you do for a living I would have her over

Really??

So if you had a sick newborn in hospital, it wouldn’t bother you if three days earlier your nurse had knowingly had Christmas lunch with her Covid positive mum?

Blimey.

Honestly I would assume anyone I come into contact with by mid next week is a COVID contact.
BigGermanSausage · 23/12/2021 19:00

Honestly regardless off what you do for a living I would have her over if you are having your dad over chances are he's incubating it anyway as doubt they are being strict about social distancing. You mistake was getting her tested

Fucking hell. Your mistake was getting her tested. Stop the world, I would like to get the fuck off.

DontWantTheRivalry · 23/12/2021 19:14

vicky
Honestly regardless off what you do for a living I would have her over

Really?? So if you had a sick newborn in hospital, it wouldn’t bother you if three days earlier your nurse had knowingly had Christmas lunch with her Covid positive mum?Blimey.

vicky-Honestly I would assume anyone I come into contact with by mid next week is a COVID contact.

That didn’t actually answer my question though did it.

If you had a sick newborn and your nurse said, “I had a great Christmas a few days ago. I mean my mum has got Covid but I went to spend it with her anyway,” you would be fine with that?

You’d quite happily let her continue looking after your baby?

OP posts:
CPL593H · 23/12/2021 19:17

I think my biggest take from this thread is that apparently, for some, people in their 50s are seen as fragile entities from the Planet Old, with no agency and unable to make decisions for themselves in case they are "disappointed" spoil someone else's plans

Cheers. It isn't actually OK to treat 90 + like that, let alone those of us with about a decade of working life left.

LovePoppy · 23/12/2021 20:01

[quote pucelleauxblanchesmains]@LovePoppy Very glad you get to feel so smug and spiteful, the true meaning of Christmas.[/quote]
It’s the gift that keeps on giving :)

Roundeartheratchriatmas · 23/12/2021 20:03

Unfortunately my take from this is that other people’s stupidity (which I was already well aware of) has managed to surprise me yet again.

Seriously people think someone who looks after tiny sick babies should deliberately be on contact with someone who is confirmed to have covid - and breaking the law by doing so.

And soon lots of people will have had contact with someone who has it being the excuse.

HmmConfused