Is there a non-awkward way of asking people to do a lateral flow test before mixing?!

[Twothousandzerozero]

We’re going to stay with some extended family over Christmas and I’m wondering if it will make things awkward if I ask them to do LFTs before we arrive!?

DH and I test regularly for work, but I know some of these family members aren’t really in the habit of doing it. Is there a nice, non-pushy way of broaching this subject with them? How are others going about this?!

@Stuffin

You can ask but you can't expect them to do it.

Are you going to ask to see the results because unless you were an old unhealthy relative I wouldn't do one and would suggest to you if you were that worried you might want to consider not mingling instead.

I guess you’re my brother who refused to do one before seeing a CEV relative and encouraged other family members to not do it. He still expects to see them at Christmas

@puppeteer

"What harm is it to you to shove a free test up your nose for ten seconds to ensure you don't pass the virus on without knowing to someone who might get seriously ill."

Is it really free though? The cost of having to isolate is quite high. (Mental health, lost income, inconvenience, stress, etc.)

If you all test and get to all meet, good for you all.

But what if you all test, and some don't get to meet?

It's a bit of a blow to those that can't. But good for you that you can still meet.

And consider those that can meet. Seems you're all Covid-free —good for you. But will you stay Covid free? (Not likely —it's endemic. For some in some jobs, even to escape it for a few weeks would be a surprise.)

So you're really saying that you don't want to knowingly catch it from family, but still accepting the fairly high chance of catching it in future anyway from randoms in shops, kids at school, work, and so on.

That's morally quite a questionable position in my opinion.

Would it be more honest to simply say that you don't want to meet your extended family? ;-)

Eh? You only have to isolate if you have bloody covid! So those who test positive and don’t get to meet aren’t going to make the entire family and others ill. I don’t get it?

I'm insisting that everyone gets tested before they can come to us at Christmas

I'm just putting it in a WhatsApp message.

It's entirely reasonable.

I guess you’re my brother who refused to do one before seeing a CEV relative and encouraged other family members to not do it. He still expects to see them at Christmas

If a person was high risk from covid that's a different matter.

But for healthy (none CV/CEV) people who wanted to stay at my house over Christmas who asked me to do one so they could come then I would suggest that mingling inside is not for them. I am not getting up in the morning each day looking to see if I might have asymptomatic covid. I am low risk and happy to take that risk especially with vaccines and boosters.

For those wanting to test each and every time they go inside another persons house then go ahead (although I do wonder if tests weren't 'free' whether people would still do them) but that is not for me. If it meant someone not coming to visit then that's also ok as it's their choice not to come.

Elderly DM is hopefully coming to us for Christmas Day. She is unlikely to do a LFT but we will all do one before she comes, and probably for a few days beforehand, to hopefully cover any false negatives. It is more about keeping her safe rather than us. We will also do tests afterwards before we socialise with other people/go back to work/college.

I've just had my booster vaccine. I'm no longer testing every five minutes...I literally mingle with people indoors constantly. Work, restaurants, social gatherings, giving kids lifts to school/football training, popping in to see family and friends. Where would it end?! I fully accept I'll get it at some point but at this stage I'm getting on with life and treating covid like anything else. I wouldn't rock up to a party with norovirus or a streaming cold but I'm not going to test constantly if I don't feel unwell. I think if you're nervous, just don't have indoor gatherings.

We had a club social last weekend and the person who sent the memo out worded it along the lines of "It might be sensible if we all do a LFT in the 24hours before the event. This isn't a requirement, just about looking out for each other."

I'd keep the wording straight forward and avoid twee references to keeping each other safe.

Agreed. It’s a totally fine thing to ask if you would feel more comfortable, and I wouldn’t mind doing it, but own that you’re asking. Don’t be the covid version of those couples who want a childfree wedding but phrase it as “we want to help you have a night off and enjoy yourselves!”.

I think maybe it’s because we’re the guests, so we’re asking the HOSTS to test. This is why I’m finding it awkward! We’re staying for a few days over Xmas, so sharing bathrooms, very close contact indoors etc for several days.

To those saying “if you’re that nervous, don’t go” - we’re obliged to go - it’s not an option to miss it, offence would definitely be taken by the hosts!

@GoldenOmber

I'd keep the wording straight forward and avoid twee references to keeping each other safe.

Agreed. It’s a totally fine thing to ask if you would feel more comfortable, and I wouldn’t mind doing it, but own that you’re asking. Don’t be the covid version of those couples who want a childfree wedding but phrase it as “we want to help you have a night off and enjoy yourselves!”.

This made me laugh out loud. It’s been that long since I’ve been to a wedding, I’d forgotten about those couples..!

@puppeteer

So what you are saying is ,
Dont test incase you have it and then you wont be able to attend?
You would have to isolate and thats to much hassle

So you are basically saying,
Fuck it, i will go and if i have covid and pass it on, then so be it??????

Christ, no wonder we are in this situation
I cant actually believe people think this way!
Selfish is an understatement

All my family, siblings, aunt, uncle etc, are minimising contact as much as possible for the whole of December, no pubs / restaurants / no nights out, xmas fates, avoiding the underground, wearing a mask at all times,

So we can still see each other at Xmas,
Because we all think that is more important
We will all also do a lft the day before and the day we meet.
Me and partner are CEV and my nan is 87

How are people screening for assymptomatic colds, flu and norovirus before meeting up?

Ironically they're not the illnesses that I've had 3 jabs in a year for.

If I could screen for flu and norovirus too I would. But if we had been in contact with someone who had norovirus/flu I would be wary who I would be mixing with

I picked up a new batch of LFTs from a nearby pharmacy to find out these are now much quicker and easier than the early versions where throat had to swabbed - this always made me a bit sick. So right now, I am happy to do them when asked and wouldn't waste much time thinking about it. Previously I'd have rather passed on indoor meet ups frankly (although Christmas is a special family occasion of course).

Agree with others OP that you can ask in a simple way however your hosts might not share your view so you could receive a "we're jabbed/ don't care" type of response or silence and a polite nod in person when you see them. You need to know your response or approach in that case.

I don't know why a poster is being attacked for not wanting to LFT for visitors in her house. People are fed up of Covid police, testing and general hysteria having done a fair few things in their control to be safe and responsible such as vaccination etc. It's not surprising at all.

Hmmm… I would find it a bit strange for someone to ask me to test if I was hosting. If people are coming to your home then ‘your house, your rules’. If you’re going to someone else’s house then it’s up to then to decide if they want you to test. If they don’t ask you to then it’s up to you to decide if you want to go or not.

@BogRollBOGOF

How are people screening for assymptomatic colds, flu and norovirus before meeting up?

Ironically they're not the illnesses that I've had 3 jabs in a year for.

none of those cause my child to be off school or me to be off work for ten days if I catch them (Noro is unpleasant and does have the 48 hour rule).

you an not compare because covid fucks things up practically, on top of the health issues.

I would always test before going to someone else’s house - you have no idea whether someone there may be CV. I would prefer to keep testing to ensure CV can live as normal lives as possible.

"do a fucking test you twat!" should work well enough

Its totally bonkers.

If everyone is vaccinated and symptom free, why should they have to test? Is anyone particularly vulnerable?

@Stuffin

Agree entirely. Somebody recently asked me to test my three year old to attend a party. I just said yes. I mean id have had more
Luck testing a raging bull

"none of those cause my child to be off school or me to be off work for ten days if I catch them (Noro is unpleasant and does have the 48 hour rule).

you an not compare because covid fucks things up practically, on top of the health issues."

So it's more the inconvenience than the health worries?

@1234comeonbaby

Its totally bonkers.

If everyone is vaccinated and symptom free, why should they have to test? Is anyone particularly vulnerable?

Oh wow. You really need to ask this, after all this time?

How do you know that Auntie Flo, who hasn't had it yet, will be fine if she does catch it?

How do you know that your nephew isn't going to be off school for a month with a slow recovery, fucking up his GCSEs?

Do you have some kind of covid crystal ball??

@allbartwo

"none of those cause my child to be off school or me to be off work for ten days if I catch them (Noro is unpleasant and does have the 48 hour rule).

you an not compare because covid fucks things up practically, on top of the health issues."

So it's more the inconvenience than the health worries?

Well no it is both, but the disruption is a proper pain too.

I always get asked by my father in law when I last did an LFT and I’ll be honest and say that it does bring out the inner teenager in me and I just want to say ‘mind your own bloody business’. Then I have a word with myself and do the test because it’s the right thing to do. So I don’t think there is a way of avoiding the eye-rolling and huffing from people like me. You just have to ignore it and trust they will do the right thing. I would be annoyed if someone asked to see my test/result though as it would imply a lack of trust.