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Original poster

Is there a non-awkward way of asking people to do a lateral flow test before mixing?!

147 replies

Twothousandzerozero · 07/12/2021 00:54

We’re going to stay with some extended family over Christmas and I’m wondering if it will make things awkward if I ask them to do LFTs before we arrive!?

DH and I test regularly for work, but I know some of these family members aren’t really in the habit of doing it. Is there a nice, non-pushy way of broaching this subject with them? How are others going about this?!

OP posts:
HunterHearstHelmsley · 07/12/2021 07:50

I wouldn't have a problem doing a test but I wouldn't be very happy if someone asked me to do a test so they could come into my home.

toomuchlaundry · 07/12/2021 07:52

And if it meant you wouldn’t see close family members at Christmas @Stuffin?

If people regularly test it probably is second nature to test when meeting up with other people. It would never occur to me to not test when meeting up with friends/family, but that is probably as I go into schools a lot so test then, and worry that I could quite easily pick it up at schools.

rrhuth · 07/12/2021 07:54

@Stuffin

Oh there's nothing to say to boneheaded views like this!

You can get personal all you like but I don't believe in testing all the time when you meet someone inside. Yes some people do and need that security but personally I don't want to test to have people over to my house. It's call a difference of opinion.

Some opinions are wrong, you are entitled to hold your opinion but anyone who says 'I don't have symptoms' after 20 months of knowing the biggest issue is asymptomatic spread deserves a Biscuit.

I can respect you whilst having zero respect for your position and that is not personal.

Stuffin · 07/12/2021 07:54

And if it meant you wouldn’t see close family members at Christmas @Stuffin?

If someone was staying with me and asked me to test then yes I would suggest it's probably best that they didn't stay.

tangyandsalty · 07/12/2021 07:54

Please can everyone do a lateral flow before meeting up, thanks 😊

NMC2022 · 07/12/2021 07:56

@Stuffin

You can ask but you can't expect them to do it.

Are you going to ask to see the results because unless you were an old unhealthy relative I wouldn't do one and would suggest to you if you were that worried you might want to consider not mingling instead.

So never mind the children with leukaemia or the adult on chemo or with COPD then, you wouldn't do an LFT for them? Because everyone vulnerable is "old and unhealthy"? Hmm Statements like that really don't help the othering of young, vulnerable CEV people
Stuffin · 07/12/2021 07:57

Some opinions are wrong, you are entitled to hold your opinion but anyone who says 'I don't have symptoms' after 20 months of knowing the biggest issue is asymptomatic spread deserves a .

But the person wanting to stay at my house is saying they want me to LFT. I don't test daily or weekly like some people do so no I would not test because I don't have symptoms because I don't test regularly. If I did have symptoms I would get a PCR and not mix.

I am not spending my life testing for covid on the off chance.

toomuchlaundry · 07/12/2021 07:58

@Stuffin do you ever mix with elderly or other vulnerable people?

EnjoyingTheSilence · 07/12/2021 08:00

@Twothousandzerozero hopefully your family and friends are a lot more sensible and reasonable than some. Don’t feel awkward about asking, sounds like a good idea to me, we do this too

MrsRonBurgundy · 07/12/2021 08:00

We've had this situation recently for a family event and one person chose not to attend.
They refuse to test as believe the swabs leave traces of carcinogenic substances.

The event went ahead without them as there were CEV in the group.

People might choose not to test but they just have to appreciate it might mean they miss out on seeing people. It's definitely not unreasonable or unexpected to ask for LFTs though, it's perfectly sensible given the number of people who don't have any symptoms but are positive and spreading it.

Parker231 · 07/12/2021 08:00

We do lateral tests regularly as do friends and family. I would certainly expect people we were meeting up with to do one.

Stuffin · 07/12/2021 08:02

[quote toomuchlaundry]@Stuffin do you ever mix with elderly or other vulnerable people?[/quote]
The only elderly person I mix with is out mixing with far more people than I ever will and boosted up they are happy getting on with life and no they don't test.

CaptainMyCaptain · 07/12/2021 08:02

@Stuffin

As the host, then I would ask you not to come.

The OP sounds to me like they are the guest not the host.

But if I were the host I would ask them not to come.
Frazzled2207 · 07/12/2021 08:04

@QuentininQuarantino

I’d phrase it as “let’s all do LFTs beforehand, shall we?” Or “we always test before mixing now, could you do one too?” than “please can you do an LFT beforehand.” But I don’t think it’s an unreasonable ask at all.
This. We did this before a biggish family thing recently. Not sure everyone actually did it but nobody was surprised or put out by the request
rrhuth · 07/12/2021 08:05

@Stuffin

Some opinions are wrong, you are entitled to hold your opinion but anyone who says 'I don't have symptoms' after 20 months of knowing the biggest issue is asymptomatic spread deserves a .

But the person wanting to stay at my house is saying they want me to LFT. I don't test daily or weekly like some people do so no I would not test because I don't have symptoms because I don't test regularly. If I did have symptoms I would get a PCR and not mix.

I am not spending my life testing for covid on the off chance.

Why the fuck not? What harm is it to you to shove a free test up your nose for ten seconds to ensure you don't pass the virus on without knowing to someone who might get seriously ill. I can't respect that position.

Biscuit again for 'I don't have symptoms'.

This sort of thought process is why Darwin Awards were created!

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 07/12/2021 08:07

I think if your circumstances make u worried enough to ask people to do flow tests then don't mix at all .
I only say this because ds and I both tested negative when our pcr tests came back positive.
If catching covid would be catastrophic for you then don't take the chance

rookiemere · 07/12/2021 08:07

I'd keep the wording straight forward and avoid twee references to keeping each other safe. I'd just say, please can you do a lateral flow test before coming to ours, and we will do likewise. If you don't have any you can order them online free here ( insert government link).

Thing is you can't really police it, if people say they have done one and they've not. I'm not asking our visitors to do one before they come - DS is at school and we're out and about a bit anyway so I'm fairly sanguine about catching it. We will all do LFTs before visiting my elderly DPs though as I'd hate to put them at risk.

mistermagpie · 07/12/2021 08:09

My BIL/SIL have asked us but in the 'we should probably all do LFT's before we meet, shouldn't we?' kind of way. I think it's fine. I don't LFT as a routine thing but I wouldn't mind anyone asking, especially if they phrased it like the above - who could be offended?

seeyouseeme · 07/12/2021 08:11

Just chill. If they are on the same wavelength as you, you don't need to ask. If they're not their is no point asking, they'd be offended or they'd lie about it.

You do what you feel is right. Trust others to do what they feel is right. Give your opinion if asked. Smile

seeyouseeme · 07/12/2021 08:13

And if you do LFTs all the time anyway you'd know if you got it. If you don't trust the test enough for that, what is the point? Let's face it you could catch it in a shop queue.

BettyfromBristol · 07/12/2021 08:15

It's now routine for our family gatherings. Interestingly it is the healthy millennials who enforce it and send the reminder on WhatsApp.

RedToothBrush · 07/12/2021 08:16

Just a heads up. There is currently an outbreak locally. What I am hearing is of multiple families all doing a lateral flow and then getting a mixed bag of results. One or two test positive but other family members don't. The PCR is then coming back with all of them positive. Or all negative, theres a close contact so do a PCR and one comes back positive.

Because I have eyes in several different chats what is emerging is a pattern. Its not an isolated incident. I've heard of 3 or 4 cases now. Its causing problems because this information isn't get conveyed and communicated where it needs to be and there is an over reliance and over estimation on T&T and what they do. (which is basically fuck all but harass people at home).

Its really really concerning.

If you are seeing someone vulnerable do not rely on LFT alone. Its lulling people into a false sense of security.

If you are worried that much you should still continue to take other measures such as meeting outdoors.

Seriously, its really been an eye opener. There no reason for the people I know to say half of them got positive lateral flows if they all do pcrs after to confirm differently anyway.

toomuchlaundry · 07/12/2021 08:16

@seeyouseeme you are much more likely to catch it in someone’s home though if there is someone there carrying the virus

rrhuth · 07/12/2021 08:16

@seeyouseeme

And if you do LFTs all the time anyway you'd know if you got it. If you don't trust the test enough for that, what is the point? Let's face it you could catch it in a shop queue.
It is far, far less likely to catch in a shop queue FFS.

In-home socialising is the highest risk of all. People don't test, they sit close, ventilation is poor, they spend hours with the same people.

DameCelia · 07/12/2021 08:17

By all means ask but what will you do if they refuse?
And if everyone says yes will you ask for proof?