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Original poster

Is there a non-awkward way of asking people to do a lateral flow test before mixing?!

147 replies

Twothousandzerozero · 07/12/2021 00:54

We’re going to stay with some extended family over Christmas and I’m wondering if it will make things awkward if I ask them to do LFTs before we arrive!?

DH and I test regularly for work, but I know some of these family members aren’t really in the habit of doing it. Is there a nice, non-pushy way of broaching this subject with them? How are others going about this?!

OP posts:
toomuchlaundry · 07/12/2021 08:17

Maybe it’s a sign of a good host that you LFT before visitors arrive

rrhuth · 07/12/2021 08:19

@DameCelia

By all means ask but what will you do if they refuse? And if everyone says yes will you ask for proof?
You can't do this but I think most people wouldn't lie to a close friend or family member and tbh if they do lie, there's little you can do. You can't ask for proof, no.
seeyouseeme · 07/12/2021 08:22

@rrhuth, my point still stands. If you trust the LFTs you'll soon know about it. If you don't why bother asking someone to do one? If there is too much risk don't meet up.🤷‍♀️

seeyouseeme · 07/12/2021 08:25

My point is, 'Do what you think is right and allow others to do what they think is right.'

CaptainMyCaptain · 07/12/2021 08:26

I wonder if some of the false negatives on LFTs are a result of people not doing them properly.

As for people lying about them, I pretty sure I wouldn't be inviting anyone to my home who would deliberately lie to me. I think I would have filtered anyone like that out years ago.

rrhuth · 07/12/2021 08:29

@seeyouseeme

My point is, 'Do what you think is right and allow others to do what they think is right.'
I am letting others do what they want, I'm just at liberty to say they are wrong.

Sometimes people who can not think straight believe their position is valid. They are wrong.

Not taking an lft is stupid, and anyone who says 'I haven't got symptoms' clearly doesn't understand the issue with covid spread.

seeyouseeme · 07/12/2021 08:29

As for people lying about them, I pretty sure I wouldn't be inviting anyone to my home who would deliberately lie to me. I think I would have filtered anyone like that out years ago.

So the question is, do your guests feel the same about LFTs? Or would you have already filtered out those of a differing opinion?

seeyouseeme · 07/12/2021 08:30

I'm just at liberty to say they are wrong.

I bet you get a lot of people nodding and smiling at you, then.Wink

CaptainMyCaptain · 07/12/2021 08:36

@seeyouseeme

As for people lying about them, I pretty sure I wouldn't be inviting anyone to my home who would deliberately lie to me. I think I would have filtered anyone like that out years ago.

So the question is, do your guests feel the same about LFTs? Or would you have already filtered out those of a differing opinion?

I wouldn't invite covid deniers or reckless people to my home so I suppose the answer is Yes.

I am in my 60s so technically at risk but I am in robust health, the most clinically vulnerable person in my family is in her 40s. It isn't just the frail elderly who need protection.

rrhuth · 07/12/2021 08:36

@seeyouseeme

I'm just at liberty to say they are wrong.

I bet you get a lot of people nodding and smiling at you, then.Wink

I don't in real life know anyone well enough to talk to who would say 'I don't have symptoms'. If they did, we would nod and smile at them I guess.

I don't mix with many people who are anti-vax, anti-test or anti-science. I'm lucky!

puppeteer · 07/12/2021 08:40

"What harm is it to you to shove a free test up your nose for ten seconds to ensure you don't pass the virus on without knowing to someone who might get seriously ill."

Is it really free though? The cost of having to isolate is quite high. (Mental health, lost income, inconvenience, stress, etc.)

If you all test and get to all meet, good for you all.

But what if you all test, and some don't get to meet?

It's a bit of a blow to those that can't. But good for you that you can still meet.

And consider those that can meet. Seems you're all Covid-free —good for you. But will you stay Covid free? (Not likely —it's endemic. For some in some jobs, even to escape it for a few weeks would be a surprise.)

So you're really saying that you don't want to knowingly catch it from family, but still accepting the fairly high chance of catching it in future anyway from randoms in shops, kids at school, work, and so on.

That's morally quite a questionable position in my opinion.

Would it be more honest to simply say that you don't want to meet your extended family? ;-)

Crazykatie · 07/12/2021 08:42

If I was concerned I would just say one of the party is “vulnerable” please take an LFT before coming.
Not saying who, and leaving everyone to be honest

toomuchlaundry · 07/12/2021 08:42

@puppeteer what about the stress if someone brings COVID to your house?

seeyouseeme · 07/12/2021 08:42

@CaptainMyCaptain & @rrhuth, so as I said previously, you don't need to ask. You mix with likeminded people. Which is my point.

If you mix with people of differing opinions and world views you have got to be accepting of more risk or risk offending people. Either way you accept risk.

Simple.SmileWink

wincarwoo · 07/12/2021 08:44

@Twothousandzerozero

This has reassured me that I’m not going to make an idiot of myself by asking, thank you! I haven’t really heard of anyone specifically requesting that others test, so I was wondering if it might be viewed as a bit pushy or neurotic. But like *@PrayingForChristmas* says, at this point, surely it’s good manners to just do one without being asked!
I've been asked to do it before attending two parties recently. It's become the norm.
Missmissmiiiiiiiiisss · 07/12/2021 08:45

I’d say “Hi everyone, so looking forward to seeing you. DH and I are going to do LFTs before we come so we can keep you all safe, is everyone else happy to do them too (so we don’t let the dreaded C word ruin Christmas!) ?

Remmy123 · 07/12/2021 08:47

No point as they are so unreliable

puppeteer · 07/12/2021 08:47

“what about the stress if someone brings COVID to your house?”

I think you’re daft if you test positive and then go.

So is it best to test at all?

If the group as a whole is socialising as normal, shopping, working, then not sure you are adding any risk.

The calculation chances if there are vulnerable parties. But then, shouldn’t you be asking their opinion?

rrhuth · 07/12/2021 08:47

[quote seeyouseeme]@CaptainMyCaptain & @rrhuth, so as I said previously, you don't need to ask. You mix with likeminded people. Which is my point.

If you mix with people of differing opinions and world views you have got to be accepting of more risk or risk offending people. Either way you accept risk.

Simple.SmileWink[/quote]
I would need to ask, potentially.

Not everyone I know is doing regular lft, but none of them would say something Confused like 'I don't have symptoms'.

quiteathome · 07/12/2021 08:48

I have a family thing coming up. There will be quite a few of us. I asked if everyone minded lateral flow testing first. They were all fine with it. (I suspect one of them probably wanted to ask people to test and they probably all would test anyway. )

rrhuth · 07/12/2021 08:49

@puppeteer

“what about the stress if someone brings COVID to your house?”

I think you’re daft if you test positive and then go.

So is it best to test at all?

If the group as a whole is socialising as normal, shopping, working, then not sure you are adding any risk.

The calculation chances if there are vulnerable parties. But then, shouldn’t you be asking their opinion?

Mathematically speaking, every incident of mixing adds risk, obviously.

The highest risk setting for most of us in in a home.

seeyouseeme · 07/12/2021 08:50

@rrhuth, are you sure asking them is enough, then?

Warmduscher · 07/12/2021 08:52

@Remmy123

No point as they are so unreliable
Have you got a link for the scientific data backing up that statement?
rrhuth · 07/12/2021 08:52

[quote seeyouseeme]**@rrhuth, are you sure asking them is enough, then? [/quote]
I don't know what you mean with this question.

Yogaandcocoa · 07/12/2021 08:53

I think it's reasonable to ask but clearly some people who are not in the habit of testing may see it as an imposition. You also will get people agreeing and not doing it.

We are invited to a family get together over Christmas and I know most of them won't LFT or even be mindful of any kind of distancing or hand / food hygiene so i don't feel like going.

I'm not really in a position to suggest LFTs as the discussion about the meet up is on DH family whatsapp and I'm not on that. He wouldn't suggest LFTs. Those who do them for work anyway will do them.

I think a lot of people are socialising more this month.