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Original poster

Is there a non-awkward way of asking people to do a lateral flow test before mixing?!

147 replies

Twothousandzerozero · 07/12/2021 00:54

We’re going to stay with some extended family over Christmas and I’m wondering if it will make things awkward if I ask them to do LFTs before we arrive!?

DH and I test regularly for work, but I know some of these family members aren’t really in the habit of doing it. Is there a nice, non-pushy way of broaching this subject with them? How are others going about this?!

OP posts:
bigbluebus · 07/12/2021 08:55

We've done this all along when coming into very close contact with friends and family. No one has ever had a problem with it. We've had 2 holidays and a weekend away with different small groups and all have been happy to do it. We've also done it when meeting up in less close contact with friends where a family member is clinically extremely vulnerable.
We just say 'we think it would be a good idea if...' or 'would you mind doing.....'
We all know it's not an all clear but it is an extra level of precaution.

seeyouseeme · 07/12/2021 08:56

I don't know what you mean with this question

Well, what is the guarantee they'll do them and do them properly? If they are unused to doing them. If they do them anyway they wouldn't need to be asked.

Hopefullywaiting01234 · 07/12/2021 09:01

If I was going to someone’s house and they asked me to do a LFT I wouldn’t have an issue with it and would test.

However I don’t test myself regularly as a matter of course, nor do my friends of family (except for ones who need to for work). I am WFH and therefore don’t need to do this

I have had covid, i went and got a PCR and then took a LFT a few hours later in my house as I was handed them at the test centre. The PCR was positive and the LFT was negative

rrhuth · 07/12/2021 09:05

@seeyouseeme

I don't know what you mean with this question

Well, what is the guarantee they'll do them and do them properly? If they are unused to doing them. If they do them anyway they wouldn't need to be asked.

Well maybe. But I guess that's life. And practice makes perfect Smile
Exhausteddog · 07/12/2021 09:08

My DS had covud a few weeks ago. His "symptoms" were a slightly blocked nose for maybe 4 days. He didn't feel ill, no fever, coughing, sneezing, headache etc. I noticed he sounded a bit nasally one day and he said his nose was a bit blocked but tbh I wouldn't have thought about booking a test. The next day we did our twice weekly LFTs and it came up positive straight away (which was confirmed by a PCR next morning) DH had a bad cold at the same time but repeatedly tested negative on both LFTs (every other day) and 2 PCRs.

BiBabbles · 07/12/2021 09:17

I think others' idea of making it a collective question is probably the least awkward way.

I wouldn't find it an awkward question, but at this time I'd respond that at this time I'm not testing. In the last week or so, I've had a significant increase in tremors, partial temporary paralysis, and other medical issues which means I don't feel safe doing it or that I can do it well enough to give anyone reassurances. It's one of many tasks that I'm not doing right now during this flare up.

I understand if that meant someone felt it was too risky having me around. I don't expect people to make an exception for me and wouldn't want to attend something if it meant others felt less safe. I do wish some would recognize that just because something is easy for them doesn't make it easy for everyone and some may not be in the habit of doing testing because of disability and/or not having that active a social life.

NovemberNovemberDarkNights · 07/12/2021 09:19

@Dontforgetyourbrolly

I think if your circumstances make u worried enough to ask people to do flow tests then don't mix at all . I only say this because ds and I both tested negative when our pcr tests came back positive. If catching covid would be catastrophic for you then don't take the chance
That's getting harder & harder to do. I'd happily not mix at all, but that won't pay my bills & people are getting less & less understanding. I'm no less ECV 🤦🏻‍♀️

@Twothousandzerozero. I find it very awkward to ask, but the letter I got this week (again) from the NHS reminding me that despite shielding officially ending I'm still very vulnerable& need to do all I can to protect myself, including asking others to LFT & wear masks, will hopefully give me the courage to ask.

It is awkward though.

rumrunner123 · 07/12/2021 09:41

Only you know the people OP and how they are likely to respond.

Me and DH both have to test regularly for work anyway. Have a close family member who is 28 but CV. IF she is coming then we ask anyone else who is coming to test first. People know her relationship to us and understand why so will either do the test or not come - I do not judge either option.

If she is not at ours then we wouldn't really ask for people to test first, we know some would anyway and accept some just don't. Again we are just likely to test ourselves more often after hosting or going to someone else's in this circumstance before we then went on to visit others.

WotgunShedding · 07/12/2021 09:45

Post this on your social media feed of choice, or text/whatsapp it directly and job done Grin coronavirusresources.phe.gov.uk/covid-19-health-behaviours/resources/social-animations/

StrongLegs · 07/12/2021 09:55

I think it's totally reasonable to ask, but I would be sure to then check that they are going to do it.

I have older relatives who have never needed to do one and they get really weird if I ask them to do one. If you do have people who are refusing, you need to know about it so you can put them out in the garden take different precautions with them

containsnuts · 07/12/2021 09:57

I always LFT before going to people's houses (I don't usually tell them I just do it) but can't bring myself to ask others to do the same. I'm hosting a small gathering this weekend. My plan is to keep the windows open and have a couple of blankets handy incase anyone feels chilly. Hoping for the best.

Skysblue · 07/12/2021 09:57

I recently asked someone to do this before seeing our elderly relatives. They had a bit of a sulk. Then they felt guilty and tested. Turns out, their ‘mild cold’ was covid. 🤦‍♀️

Emerald76360 · 07/12/2021 10:08

If family meet up we all do. I'd write along the lines of - To keep everyone safe over Christmas, shall we all take a lft before we meet up? I bet they'll be relieved someone has mentioned it first.

CaptainMyCaptain · 07/12/2021 10:11

@Skysblue

I recently asked someone to do this before seeing our elderly relatives. They had a bit of a sulk. Then they felt guilty and tested. Turns out, their ‘mild cold’ was covid. 🤦‍♀️
And this is exactly why people should ask. Well done.
Crazycrazylady · 07/12/2021 10:16

I dunno
I think it's up to the host to request that people do them. Not a guest attending.
Id do what people suggested and send a text along the lines of all clear etc but honestly don't think it's your place to insist on them if that's what you're thinking .

containsnuts · 07/12/2021 10:17

My biggest worry is someone turning up with a 'cold' or sore throat - oblivious to the fact it might be covid. What am I meant to do then? Bring out the test kit or make them sit in the garden? I need a book on pandemic etiquette! 😅

Original poster
Twothousandzerozero · 07/12/2021 10:38

@IgneousRock This is exactly my worry - there are a couple of people there that I don’t think it would occur to, so it wouldn’t be that natural for me to ask. It would definitely be me pushing for it, if that makes sense? There are people like @Stuffin who get a bit offended by it also, so I’m trying to steer clear of that.

OP posts:
PinkSparklyPussyCat · 07/12/2021 10:49

We've got elderly family coming for Christmas and know there's no way on earth they would do an LFT!

Actually, one question about that - if they did, how would they report test results as they don't have internet?

Paddingtonthebear · 07/12/2021 11:07

It’s not unreasonable to ask but unfortunately a lot of people just don’t really care.

A lot of people also do not realise that only a very small percentage of positive pcr tests are being tested for the new variant. So loads of people will have the new variant and won’t know they have it nor will their close contacts know who should then be self isolating too.

SellFridges · 07/12/2021 11:12

They don’t have to report results if they don’t want to.

CaptainMyCaptain · 07/12/2021 11:15

@SellFridges

They don’t have to report results if they don’t want to.
I have never reported mine. DH and adult DD have to report theirs for work.
Peaseblossum22 · 07/12/2021 11:27

@PinkSparklyPussyCat

We've got elderly family coming for Christmas and know there's no way on earth they would do an LFT!

Actually, one question about that - if they did, how would they report test results as they don't have internet?

We also have parents. Ominous they are all In their eighties and happily do LFTs. They don’t hand internet so don’t log them but are all keen to do their bit and support their grandchildren who are doing them for work and university.
Peaseblossum22 · 07/12/2021 11:27

Sorry about the typos

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 07/12/2021 11:30

To be honest if I do an LFT I have no intention of logging it!

Branleuse · 07/12/2021 11:32

Just be upfront. I cant wait to see you all but im going to have to ask that everyone does a LFT before coming to be on the safe side, as im sure none of us want corona for new year!