Is there a non-awkward way of asking people to do a lateral flow test before mixing?!

[Twothousandzerozero]

We’re going to stay with some extended family over Christmas and I’m wondering if it will make things awkward if I ask them to do LFTs before we arrive!?

DH and I test regularly for work, but I know some of these family members aren’t really in the habit of doing it. Is there a nice, non-pushy way of broaching this subject with them? How are others going about this?!

"Do you have enough LFTs? Shall I order and bring some? "

Answer will tell you if they do or don't
Don't go if you feel unsafe

@Twothousandzerozero

I think maybe it’s because we’re the guests, so we’re asking the HOSTS to test. This is why I’m finding it awkward! We’re staying for a few days over Xmas, so sharing bathrooms, very close contact indoors etc for several days.

To those saying “if you’re that nervous, don’t go” - we’re obliged to go - it’s not an option to miss it, offence would definitely be taken by the hosts!

It is always an option to not go

No one can force you

If you go and they untested
Keep opening windows
Wear your masks at all times
Keep sanitising hands

Agree @RedQueen81 the nose ones are much easier to do and it's a bit more streamlined with the liquid already being in the tube.

I'm fairly ambivalent on it, but I do hope on either side people don't go around swearing at friends/relatives close enough to be invited into the house just over a test.

@Embracelife that’s incredibly rude. I would rather people not come than wander around my house in a mask opening windows.

We’re the only country (from what I know) that does this many tests on non-symptomatic people. The rest of the world just seem to get getting on with it and if you have symptoms, you stay in.
I don’t mind doing lateral flows when people ask me to - like pp have said, it takes hardly any time to do one and if it makes them feel easier, so be it.
I’ve got friends who think Covid is all a load of nonsense and there’s no way they’d do a test if they were the host.

My friend has had a major falling out in her family caused by a request like this .

Friend and her DH test regularly due to their work and do take Covid very seriously.

They invited son and his girlfriend for dinner ( both age 20 but living with girlfriend's mother)

Girlfriend's mother said the GF couldn't go unless everyone attending the dinner took a LFT and texted her the results.

It was decided that the mother was being a total control freak but everyone agreed to go along with it to keep the peace.

Friend's other son then asked , at the last moment if he could bring a friend to the dinner. This friend was happy to test.

The girlfriends's mother kicked off and said she was withdrawing her agreement for her daughter to attend the dinner on the basis that she didn't know this other boy who was attending.

Son and girlfriend didn't come. Friend had gone to a lot of effort for this special dinner. Big argument followed and the two sons are no longer on speaking terms.

There obviously a lot more going on here than just asking for testing but it was definitely considered a bit of a cheek to ask.

I think just ask. I don't think it's problematic. My family are visiting and I almost know they will ask us to test before they arrive. It's fine, we will test and are happy to if it makes them feel better. Just phrase it as being for the benefit of everyone concerned and a sensible approach. Which it is.

People on here suggesting you sit in the frickin freezing cold with a mask on instead of just asking everyone to do a lft before they arrive, dear lord....

Recently had a party for my son abs we asked everyone to do a lateral flow first. Just sent a message to those attending just asking if they could do a lateral flow first as there are a lot of cases about. Was nervous about asking but got really positive comments back. Others might be thinking it too so I would just go for it.

The only awkward thing for me like you said would be that you are the guests not the host. Depending on the nature of the hosts, they may be miffed that you're putting requests in for an event they've organised. If it was important to them then surely they would be requesting everyone do LFTs already?

I guess you’re my brother who refused to do one before seeing a CEV relative and encouraged other family members to not do it. He still expects to see them at Christmas

Or possibly my DSS who is unvaccinated and won't test before visiting his 83 year old granny. Dear granny so loves seeing her great-GD, she won't dream of asking him to test, esp as he's a Covid denier.

This is totally normal, isn't it? We've been doing lateral flows before mixing since the summer (when we started mixing after our vaccinations). No-one has found it unusual or commented, we all just get on with it.

I'm still a little aghast at the blind faith nearly everyone has in these flow tests .
Apart from myself I know many , many people with false results on these things . Yes it could be that I and others - including OPs guests - are not doing them properly .
If catching covid or being contacted by T &T is going to cause major problems - don't have the party !
All tests could be negative but they catch it somewhere else then within the next few day's you'll all be contacted as being in close proximity .
Personally I'm so over all this and I'll try and get on with my life as normally as I can now , but surely common sense must tell you these little pieces of plastic are meaningless

“Fuck it, i will go and if i have covid and pass it on, then so be it??????”

That wasn’t what I wrote.

But there’s a misplaced perception that testing is without cost, and always beneficial.

Yet, the obvious cost is of the possible need to isolate for up to 10 days or more. (And worse is your positive ensnares other poor folk via T&T.)

If that happens to be over Xmas, you deny yourself the ability to meet up.

To say nothing of your family being able to meet you and your children.

These are all costs.

We tend to look at the covid risk as avoided by the test. But it ignores the social cost. And it also ignores the fact that said relative may well be off swanning maskless around Starbucks for the Boxing Day sales!

All so you can feel not guilty. Well good for you!

Laying aside the value or otherwise of taking these tests, I don’t think there’s a non-rude way to ask someone to take a test of any sort before they host you.

TBF if there was a LFT for norovirus I would use it had it once immediately followed by flu. Never again thanks

You can but it's a bit pointless unless they do it in the car outside. If they have to stop to get petrol or something then the whole thing invalid anyway.

We asked family to do an LFT before meeting up indoors. All were negative, but one tested the next day as he woke up with a sore throat - cue 3 out of 8 catching Covid. Interestingly, all three were due their boosters the following week

We have been invited to stay with extended family and have said we'd love to come if you're happy to test. So it's their call but we wouldn't go if they said no.

My LFT was positive but PCR negative.

I have just received my latest box of LFTs and it includes one PCR. To use as a test to see if the result for PCR is same as LFT. I assume from a sample they can calculate the accuracy of LFTs

@puppeteer

That IS what you are saying though isnt it

You are saying you wont test incase you have a positive result, resulting in you not being able to see your family

So you are saying, i will attend the event and stuff the consequences if i have it and pass it on, so be it, as long as iv spent christmas with the family.
Never mind, one of them not making it into the new year!!!! Christ!!!