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Original poster

Got covid - I’m furious and need to vent

125 replies

RageAgainstCovid · 13/08/2021 10:35

Not really expecting any responses and not really asking a question, I just need to get this out of my system!

Since this all started we (DH, DS age 8 and I) have been very careful. To the extent that it has caused some friction with my family. Only seen them a few times. Am double vaccinated.

Earlier in the week DS and I felt a little bit bunged up, did lateral flow tests, all of us negative. Saw family, but the next day felt worse, and have now tested positive.

I’m absolutely furious and feeling unbearably guilty.

First, we’ve been so fucking careful. It feels so fucking unfair. I opened FB earlier and seeing pictures of people flying on holiday, in restaurants and at festivals. We’ve done nothing other than outdoor walks since this started.

Second, I can’t bear the guilt of waiting to see if I’ve infected the people I love most. Most are double vaccinated, but one isn’t due to being anti vaccine. I’m alternating rapidly between the guilt of possibly passing it on and anger at them refusing the vaccine.

I barely slept last night for worry, and I know I need to rest to get over this.

Just needed to get it all out really. No need for any responses, but if you do, please be gentle. I’m feeling very fragile Sad

OP posts:
Quarantino · 13/08/2021 10:38

Ahh that really sucks. I've been cautious too, but feel that double vaccination offers a significant level of protection.

Hope you get through it ok - then you'll have gotten through it!

Out of interest what were your symptoms? I've had an awful cold, got tested (and had negative lateral flow tests) but they seem to have lost my test Hmm

MrsSkylerWhite · 13/08/2021 10:39

Try not to worry so much, if you’re all double vaccinated it’s unlikely that you will be seriously ill. Your unvaccinated relative made a choice and is presumably aware of potential consequences.

I imagine most of the population will contract the virus in the next year or so. Thankfully, few will become seriously ill. Those who do are unfortunately also likely to become seriously ill from the many other viruses society already lives with.

Hope you recover quickly.

CordeliasPencil · 13/08/2021 10:39

It's an airborne virus in a pandemic. You've not done anything wrong. You've just caught a virus. Don't be so hard on yourself it's not a big deal really.

Original poster
RageAgainstCovid · 13/08/2021 10:41

@Quarantino

Ahh that really sucks. I've been cautious too, but feel that double vaccination offers a significant level of protection.

Hope you get through it ok - then you'll have gotten through it!

Out of interest what were your symptoms? I've had an awful cold, got tested (and had negative lateral flow tests) but they seem to have lost my test Hmm

Thanks. I don’t feel too bad. Just like a cold really. Bunged up, throat a bit tender, bit of a cough.

Hope you get the test sorted and get a negative result.

OP posts:
powershowerforanhour · 13/08/2021 10:42

I've been pretty careful too and used to think I'd be raging if I was careful all that time, then got it anyway. Now with delta, I'm pretty resigned to the fact that I will get it. I'm still careful but when I eventually get it I'll console myself with the fact that I managed to duck and dodge it long enough for myself, all my family and any friends and workmates who wanted it to get vaxed.

Original poster
RageAgainstCovid · 13/08/2021 10:42

@MrsSkylerWhite and @CordeliasPencil - thank you for your kind messages. Flowers

OP posts:
ExpressDelivery · 13/08/2021 10:42

I got it after being very cautious too, I have no idea how or where I picked it up, but I did feel judged as if somehow I must have "let" it happen.

Personally I'm blaming DS1. He's the only one who never caught it when the rest of us had it and I strongly suspect the reality is he had it first, asymptomatically. He was pretty good as young people go too, but he was going out to work.

lannistunut · 13/08/2021 10:43

I understand the feeling, but it is perhaps because you felt if you were 'good' or did the right thing you could control it?

We can't control it, it spreads so easily and all measures to tyr to limit it have been taken away.

The government have let it get to this out of control state, and you are not to blame.

I really hope your family are OK Flowers

herecomesthsun · 13/08/2021 10:43

To be fair, it sounds as though you've done everything you possibly could. hope you all feel better soon.

SupermanWithTheGreyHair · 13/08/2021 10:44

Guilt is a complete waste of your energy. You didn’t know you had it when you seen your family. And they all know the risks involved with mixing at the moment.

Hope you’re all feeling better soon.

Original poster
RageAgainstCovid · 13/08/2021 10:45

@lannistunut

I understand the feeling, but it is perhaps because you felt if you were 'good' or did the right thing you could control it?

We can't control it, it spreads so easily and all measures to tyr to limit it have been taken away.

The government have let it get to this out of control state, and you are not to blame.

I really hope your family are OK Flowers

I think you’ve hit on something here. I think you’re right that I thought I could control it. I tend to be a bit anxious and careful with things. Thanks, this is helpful Flowers

I really hope they are too. I suspect one isn’t already Sad

OP posts:
PositiveLife · 13/08/2021 10:52
Flowers That's crap. It seems so unpredictable too. My dd got it and nobody caught it from her. We weren't careful in the house either because I just resigned myself to getting it. Now her step brother has it, despite not catching it from her even though he saw her at her most contagious (just before she got symptoms). It's such a hard time of year to be stuck in too, while others are having lots of fun
Branleuse · 13/08/2021 11:21

its sad that theyve got us feeling like bloody criminals if we dare to accidentally catch a bloody virus thats been an international pandemic despite being in lockdown after lockdown for coming up two years now.
You can be as careful as anything and still randomly catch it from someone who just didnt even know, same as you.
Give yourself and others a break. Viruses do what viruses do and people arent exactly going out and licking railings. Theyre just trying to live their lives at this point, and the majority of people are still taking precautions such as trying to social distance, getting vaccinated and a lot of people are not holidaying and also wearing masks. Theres only so much people can do, and you cant expect everybody to stay inside forever.
I hope you recover quickly

UserStillatLarge · 13/08/2021 11:25

Does your 8 year old go to school?

If so, then you haven't actually been that careful - schools are hotbeds of Covid transmission.

Unfortunately short of literally shutting yourself away at home, there is a limit to what you can do to minimise your risk whilst still continuing to live a "normal" (ish) life.

Pbbananabagel · 13/08/2021 11:26

Here with you 100% exactly the same scenario, our negative LFT were replaced by positive ones in less than 24hrs, meanwhile we’d met up with family including a pregnant sister. I have a pcr positive 2yr old and 2months old here with rocketing fevers. It’s so much worse for them than everything lead us to believe it would be tbh.

rhowton · 13/08/2021 11:28

I think you're just going to have accept it. If you've been this careful and have still caught it, I think you need to start living life a bit more.

I'm currently abroad and flying home tomorrow, life has to go on. This is the best it's going to get.

Viviennemary · 13/08/2021 11:29

It must be very annoying. I havent done anything daft but haven't been overcareful either. Its vaccine refusers thst annoy me.

Purplewithred · 13/08/2021 11:30

The guilt got me too - everyone banged up at home for 10 days feeling 100% fit and well, NHS frontline worker husband not able to go to work when they were slammed. I had no symptoms other than half a day of post-jab crapness (+ve test 2 days after jab). It's tough.

lannistunut · 13/08/2021 11:30

What this thread is showing is that LFTs are pretty fucking feeble at stopping us passing this thing on to our friends and families Angry

clpsmum · 13/08/2021 11:33

@RageAgainstCovid I know exactly how you feel as I felt that way when I had it. I was extremely cautious, double vaccinated etc and can't believe I got it. It's awful worrying about who you've may have infected. There is no way of knowing and absolutely nothing you can do about it so worry is a wasted emotion. I hope you feel better soon and get through this ok. Just think about you and yours DC and come out of this feeling better the other side. Sorry you're going through this. Covid is a big fat nobhead!

DGFB · 13/08/2021 11:35

You can’t control it and it’s not your fault. We’re all going to get it, vaccine or not, but the vaccine will most certainly save your life and those of your loved ones. So well down for getting vaccinated and following the rules. Hope you feel better soon

GallowwayGirl88 · 13/08/2021 11:37

@ExpressDelivery

I got it after being very cautious too, I have no idea how or where I picked it up, but I did feel judged as if somehow I must have "let" it happen.

Personally I'm blaming DS1. He's the only one who never caught it when the rest of us had it and I strongly suspect the reality is he had it first, asymptomatically. He was pretty good as young people go too, but he was going out to work.

You realise your post comes across very judgmental against your son…because he was going to work?
lannistunut · 13/08/2021 11:39

I hate the government's personal responsibility line - they are absolute cowards who have hidden from their responsibilities and have passed the buck to us, when we have no power or control.

ilovesooty · 13/08/2021 11:39

I understand you're angry but I think your 8 year old going to school had as much potential for transmission than some of the heavily monitored and controlled activities you're castigating other people for doing.

I hope you recover quickly.

Fleek · 13/08/2021 11:44

That's so gutting for you. I'm sorry.

I am trying to take the view that the virus is going nowhere. We're all going to get it eventually and sometimes that will be even when we've been cautious - it's just the way it works. Lots are mixing a huge amount and managing to avoid it so it's just luck of the draw. The Delta variant is so incredibly contagious, no one can avoid it in the longer term unless they seal themselves in a plastic bubble. If you hadn't been around your family members with it, they would be exposed by someone else at some other point. Touch wood everyone will be ok.

It does sound like you've been incredibly cautious and I hope once you're recovered you can start doing more. I understand why people have done very little in the last 18 months but equally you only get one life and just going for walks is no way to live.