Got covid - I’m furious and need to vent

[RageAgainstCovid]

Not really expecting any responses and not really asking a question, I just need to get this out of my system!

Since this all started we (DH, DS age 8 and I) have been very careful. To the extent that it has caused some friction with my family. Only seen them a few times. Am double vaccinated.

Earlier in the week DS and I felt a little bit bunged up, did lateral flow tests, all of us negative. Saw family, but the next day felt worse, and have now tested positive.

I’m absolutely furious and feeling unbearably guilty.

First, we’ve been so fucking careful. It feels so fucking unfair. I opened FB earlier and seeing pictures of people flying on holiday, in restaurants and at festivals. We’ve done nothing other than outdoor walks since this started.

Second, I can’t bear the guilt of waiting to see if I’ve infected the people I love most. Most are double vaccinated, but one isn’t due to being anti vaccine. I’m alternating rapidly between the guilt of possibly passing it on and anger at them refusing the vaccine.

I barely slept last night for worry, and I know I need to rest to get over this.

Just needed to get it all out really. No need for any responses, but if you do, please be gentle. I’m feeling very fragile

Agree there's a sense that a lot of people feel the can control it, over the last year you've felt the annoyance at people "spreading" covid, like it was deliberate and it is possible to function while not being exposed.

Sadly not that simple.

Theres no way you can control it.

You poor thing. you did your best - it's a virus, you can only do so much. the fact that you're vaccinated is a huge, huge bonus - and you held off from getting it until you were, so all of that carefulness has actually paid off.
People who are choosing not to get the vaccine - I'm afraid some hard lessons are going to be learnt.
The ones I'm angry with are the ones who spread anti-vaxx propaganda. I have a relative who's swallowed the whole conspiracy thing - I'm at a total loss as to how to respond because he's so defensive, it's fruitless trying to reason with him.

Please try not to worry - so much of this is out of your hands and you need to rest in order to recover swiftly. Hope you're better ASAP. And your DS. Has your DH caught it too?

It’s been known for some time the delta variant can present like a cold and that LFT tests aren’t meant to be used when symptoms are present.
As for being careful, I don’t think it applies if children are going to school as large unmasked group gatherings are always going to allow germs to spread.

Thanks all for your understanding and gentle responses!

Just to make one thing clear - my original post wasn't meant to castigate people for having a life and doing things. It is more jealously I guess, that people are living lives, while I've been hermit like and still got it!

Nothing I can do about it now though - unless anyone has a time machine handy?

Thanks again

@heldinadream

You poor thing. you did your best - it's a virus, you can only do so much. the fact that you're vaccinated is a huge, huge bonus - and you held off from getting it until you were, so all of that carefulness has actually paid off. People who are choosing not to get the vaccine - I'm afraid some hard lessons are going to be learnt. The ones I'm angry with are the ones who spread anti-vaxx propaganda. I have a relative who's swallowed the whole conspiracy thing - I'm at a total loss as to how to respond because he's so defensive, it's fruitless trying to reason with him.

Please try not to worry - so much of this is out of your hands and you need to rest in order to recover swiftly. Hope you're better ASAP. And your DS. Has your DH caught it too?

Yes, it is the anti vaxxer that I'm particularly frustrated with

You have nothing to feel guilty about.

However, you say you’ve only been out for walks… are you saying you’ve caught Covid from walking past people on the street?

Is your child not at school, do you or DH not work?

You’ve done incredibly well to get to now without it affecting your household, you must have been doing something effective.

Ultimately the virus is going to do what viruses do. In the absence of dramatic interventions you’re limited in how much effect you can have but you’ve gone above and beyond in what’s expected.

I understand your feelings about your anti-vax relative but they’ve got autonomy to make their own decisions as much as you. You can’t take complete responsibility for them, you’ve done everything you could do on your part.

OP do you know where you might have caught it given you've been so careful, only doing outside walks etc?

OP, please don't beat yourself up. Like others have said, Delta is such a sneaky transmissible bastard that it's extremely hard to avoid, even if you don't sit inside restaurants, socialise indoors etc. Today who are suggesting that the OP hasn't been 'careful' if her 8 yo was going to school ... What on earth is she meant to do?? There was no provision made for children whose parents preferred them not to risk infection by continuing home learning, not after schools reopened. In any case, school was finished weeks ago now and I wouldn't have thought her infection was down to her child getting it at school.
OP, I might be one of those less careful people you were thinking of - though we've been extremely risk-averse for the entire thing, a week ago we cracked and booked flights to see my parents, who live abroad. Not seen dad for years now. And then, equally rashly, allowed DS to have a big tent sleepover with 2 friends earlier this week... I asked them to do LFT first, they all did and they were all clear. And now one of the friends has, it transpires, been ill in bed with a high temperature since he went back home ... Waiting with bated breath for his PCR test but I don't have a good feeling about this. I think we're about to cancel our flights.

Sorry, that should read 'Those who are suggesting' not 'today are suggesting'

It’s an airborne virus. Why on Earth are you so cross about catching it? Anyone can, it’s just another illness amongst many out there. Do you feel so angry when you catch a cold?

I had covid in December but I was largely asymptomatic & out and about shopping in IKEA, a shopping centre, I was at my parents a few times as they were in our bubble. I tested as I randomly felt really hot one morning. I was surprised to be positive. But I didn’t feel cross or guilty. It’s one of those things. I hope it didn’t infect anyone but I probably did.. not a lot I can really do about it & I haven’t dwelled on it since! My parents didn’t catch it & nor did my OH. My kids did, they were 3 & 9 months at the time.

Maybe now you’ve had it, you’ll realise it’s not something you can control & just a part of life. You can get back out & start enjoying it now!

The anti-vaxxer is not your fault. It is completely their decision & they will have to accept the consequences of their choices.

I certainly don’t feel guilty going about normal life on the off chance I’ll infect an anti-vaxxer. Their choice.

@mudlarks

I wasn’t suggesting @RageAgainstCovid hasn’t been careful.

The op stayed We’ve done nothing other than outdoor walks since this started so unless they’ve caught Covid from passing someone on their walks (which I don’t think has ever been recorded as a route of transmission)
then they have caught Covid from somewhere else.

I know how you feel. I barely went anywhere for most of the past 18 months, but one of the three times Dh and I went out for a meal (when lockdowns eased), we both got covid, despite both having our first jab, and the restaurant being really covid safe. I even ended up in hospital - and yes, it seemed so unfair.

Fingers crossed, being double jabbed will mean this is a mild case for you, @RageAgainstCovid.

Don't be furious it's a virus... it happens and it's mostly luck. I haven't been particularly careful (I've had weekly hosp appts and travelled) and haven't had it once.

Luck of the draw unfortunately. It's literally just a matter of time in most cases.

If you're vaccinated you're either protected, or you're unlucky and you're not. If it's the second you will, in all probability, get it at some point. So, you got it now. If you hadn't you would still have got it sometime. No point in worrying, it is what it means s.

It is what it is, that should say!

@RageAgainstCovid I hear you. We, too, have been so careful for so long and then 3 days before holiday two of us tested positive. Both DH and I are double-jabbed. It’s so disappointing but comes down to luck or not as the case seems to be for more and more of us

@UserStillatLarge

Does your 8 year old go to school?

If so, then you haven't actually been that careful - schools are hotbeds of Covid transmission.

Unfortunately short of literally shutting yourself away at home, there is a limit to what you can do to minimise your risk whilst still continuing to live a "normal" (ish) life.

Exactly this. Schools are much worse for contamination than many other places. Children go to school every day whereas a flight is a rare thing.

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius

I know how you feel. I barely went anywhere for most of the past 18 months, but one of the three times Dh and I went out for a meal (when lockdowns eased), we both got covid, despite both having our first jab, and the restaurant being really covid safe. I even ended up in hospital - and yes, it seemed so unfair.

Fingers crossed, being double jabbed will mean this is a mild case for you, @RageAgainstCovid.

That is very bad luck.

Honestly, OP it’s like the lottery.
My auntie caught it when she barely goes out and I haven’t when I’ve been out and about all the time (went to Wembley, parties, theatre etc).
It’s not a moral issue. Nothing to feel guilty about.

Take care. Lots of fluids.

I completely get your frustration.
It’s Sod’s law that you have been careful and double jabbed and gets it whilst someone who has flunked the rules the entire time will probably never get it.

But you have done everything right. So you should be proud of yourself for that. If you had passed it on to a family member when cases were really high then there may have not been the medical support to treat them properly so you being careful would have definitely saved lives.

We have been careful - but not to hermit level!

The only going for outdoor walks was in terms of social type activities. No pubs, restaurants, cinemas, theatres, shopping centres, theme parks, nothing.

I’ve been WFH since this started and DH has WFH too, other than the occasional day in work, which is very covid safe.

Obviously DS went to school when it was open, but it is a small, rural, village school and his bubble never burst. During lockdowns we decided to homeschool him, even though we both work full time in jobs that have been very impacted by covid and very stressful. Lots of working evenings and weekends to make it all work. We put him in for a couple of days in a holiday activity as we couldn’t manage the whole six weeks with nothing at all, a very small and outdoor type activity. That days was torrential rain, so they moved it indoors. That’s where it must have come from.

I’d not claim to have been some kind of hermit or saint, but we have been so careful.

Thank you to everyone for the understanding and reassurance

It isn't true that schools are hotbeds of transmission.