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Original poster

Got covid - I’m furious and need to vent

125 replies

RageAgainstCovid · 13/08/2021 10:35

Not really expecting any responses and not really asking a question, I just need to get this out of my system!

Since this all started we (DH, DS age 8 and I) have been very careful. To the extent that it has caused some friction with my family. Only seen them a few times. Am double vaccinated.

Earlier in the week DS and I felt a little bit bunged up, did lateral flow tests, all of us negative. Saw family, but the next day felt worse, and have now tested positive.

I’m absolutely furious and feeling unbearably guilty.

First, we’ve been so fucking careful. It feels so fucking unfair. I opened FB earlier and seeing pictures of people flying on holiday, in restaurants and at festivals. We’ve done nothing other than outdoor walks since this started.

Second, I can’t bear the guilt of waiting to see if I’ve infected the people I love most. Most are double vaccinated, but one isn’t due to being anti vaccine. I’m alternating rapidly between the guilt of possibly passing it on and anger at them refusing the vaccine.

I barely slept last night for worry, and I know I need to rest to get over this.

Just needed to get it all out really. No need for any responses, but if you do, please be gentle. I’m feeling very fragile Sad

OP posts:
BenjiMcSchmenzie · 13/08/2021 15:25

@CordeliasPencil

It's an airborne virus in a pandemic. You've not done anything wrong. You've just caught a virus. Don't be so hard on yourself it's not a big deal really.
Exactly this.

The virus is just doing what viruses do. You’ll be ok. I’ve had it, my husband and kids have had it, we’re all fine. The vast majority of people - whether vaccinated or not - do not need hospitalisation and do not die from Covid.

Hope you feel better soon.

Siepie · 13/08/2021 16:16

@CordeliasPencil

It's an airborne virus in a pandemic. You've not done anything wrong. You've just caught a virus. Don't be so hard on yourself it's not a big deal really.
This. Would you feel guilty if you'd caught flu, or even something more deadly than covid like meningitis?

There has been a lot of emphasis on 'personal responsibility' and morality around covid, but it's an infectious disease. It infects people.

lannistunut · 13/08/2021 16:18

@Manzanilla55

It isn't true that schools are hotbeds of transmission.
Amazingly coincidental how rates amongst school aged children dropped as soon as schools were shut...

Schools were driving transmission.

ChristmasCurry · 13/08/2021 16:25

No such thing as Covid Safe - its just Covid Theater that makes people feel better when they are out and about.

Same wiping things down and using hand gel - totally pointless for an airborne virus.

CaMePlaitPas · 13/08/2021 16:38

I'm sorry about all this, this is really unfortunate and I can relate. I'm double vaccinated and I got Covid for the second time about two weeks ago, despite wearing a mask and trying to avoid people. You can only do what you can, you've been sensible but some things are out of your control OP. Good luck and I hope you're not affected too badly x

GintyMcGinty · 13/08/2021 16:41

It is an infectious virus.

You need to stop beating yourself up and take the emotion and guilt out of this. It certainly won't make you feel any better.

You've got it and you need to rest and feel better.

Hopefully when you have recovered you can try to move on with your life with a bit more of a balanced approach.

Stuffin · 13/08/2021 17:05

The being 'good' and following all the rules does not make you immune from catching an infectious airborne virus and I hate the word 'covid safe' because all it means is potentially less risk not no risk.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 13/08/2021 17:06

@Manzanilla55

It isn't true that schools are hotbeds of transmission.
It’s just a coincidence cases drop when education establishments close then? There’s a poster who had graphs showing cases in education ages hence why they closed again in January,
IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 13/08/2021 17:12

@ChristmasCurry

No such thing as Covid Safe - its just Covid Theater that makes people feel better when they are out and about.

Same wiping things down and using hand gel - totally pointless for an airborne virus.

I agree, I keep seeing covid safe/secure but it just means they are following the guidance.

People are mixing more so the virus has more means to transmit. Fewer people are testing with or without symptoms so the spread continues.

Porcupineintherough · 13/08/2021 17:44

It's a virus, not a moral judgement or a punishment for the ungodly. You can be careful and unlucky, or careless and lucky.

Just be glad you are vaccinated. I wouldn't waste any sympathy on an anti - vaxxer, they get nothing they havent chosen.

aiwblam · 13/08/2021 17:50

You didn't do anything wrong.

The unvaccinated person is an adult capable of making his/her own decisions and the consequences are completely on him/her, not you.

MargosKaftan · 13/08/2021 19:25

Why would the fact her ds has been to school been a factor given we are 3.5 weeks into the school holidays?!

(Personally I think the numbers amongst school aged dcs have dropped because secondary children have stopped twice weekly testing for the summer. Most secondary kids cases seemed to have been asymptomatic in our town and just caught by LFT, the lack of testing will miss all those).

MargosKaftan · 13/08/2021 19:27

And no, its not your fault.

More and more people seem to be cottoning on to thr idea the best you could do was delay when you caught it, not stop it. (So might as well get it over and done with and have a nice time)

Hope you are all better soon. Its a virus. Theres no right and wrong to who catches it. my antivaxx and antimask relatives haven't caught it

Mummasdiary2021 · 13/08/2021 19:33

@RageAgainstCovid

Not really expecting any responses and not really asking a question, I just need to get this out of my system!

Since this all started we (DH, DS age 8 and I) have been very careful. To the extent that it has caused some friction with my family. Only seen them a few times. Am double vaccinated.

Earlier in the week DS and I felt a little bit bunged up, did lateral flow tests, all of us negative. Saw family, but the next day felt worse, and have now tested positive.

I’m absolutely furious and feeling unbearably guilty.

First, we’ve been so fucking careful. It feels so fucking unfair. I opened FB earlier and seeing pictures of people flying on holiday, in restaurants and at festivals. We’ve done nothing other than outdoor walks since this started.

Second, I can’t bear the guilt of waiting to see if I’ve infected the people I love most. Most are double vaccinated, but one isn’t due to being anti vaccine. I’m alternating rapidly between the guilt of possibly passing it on and anger at them refusing the vaccine.

I barely slept last night for worry, and I know I need to rest to get over this.

Just needed to get it all out really. No need for any responses, but if you do, please be gentle. I’m feeling very fragile Sad

Don't feel guilty OP. You did your best to keep safe and that's all you can do. The vaccine doesn't stop you catching covid so vaccinated or not, they are still at risk. I hope you feel better soon x
SilverGlitterBaubles · 13/08/2021 21:20

OP pre Covid would you ever have felt guilty for catching a cold, flu or other bug? I suspect probably not you would have just accepted it as one of those things, unpleasant but part of life. This is the same, you haven't deliberately done this you've done all you can to avoid it. It's often completely random despite whatever precautions we take and the less guilt and blame the better. We have had enough to deal with.

iloveredpandas · 13/08/2021 21:53

I don't really underrated this tbh it's not just people who travel and go to festivals who get the virus. It can affect anyone and nobody is to blame.

It sounds almost like you believe that other people, doing things they are allowed to do, deserve to get it more than you.

It's affected a lot of people, some with very serious and heartbreaking consequences, hopefully you will be one of the fortunate ones who are not badly affected - concentrate on that.

Stuffin · 13/08/2021 21:56

@iloveredpandas

I don't really underrated this tbh it's not just people who travel and go to festivals who get the virus. It can affect anyone and nobody is to blame.

It sounds almost like you believe that other people, doing things they are allowed to do, deserve to get it more than you.

It's affected a lot of people, some with very serious and heartbreaking consequences, hopefully you will be one of the fortunate ones who are not badly affected - concentrate on that.

I do think that a lot of people apply moral judgment on getting covid hence all the judgement.
Mischance · 13/08/2021 21:58

The family member who did not get vaccinated is not your responsibility and there is no need for guilt.

You visited in good faith, having had a negative test.

I hope you will all be feeling better very soon.

Nicknacky · 13/08/2021 22:53

Has your son not been to clubs, hobbies or seen friends during this time?

Ugzbugz · 13/08/2021 23:40

I guess people have a lower immune system etc.

My DS stuck to the rules and caught it albeit fine. I didn't always and so far haven't but am fully expecting to catch it.

Dc in school, sports events, going to pubs etc. Unvaccinated people aren't my problem.

No difference in those that refuse MMR etc etc

Warhertisuff · 14/08/2021 08:02

I'm sorry you've got Covid.... To me your post reinforces how I now feel, that there's little point trying to be scrupulously avoid it.

Herd immunity is unachievable with Delta to the extent of being able to eradicate it, so we're all likely to get it over our lifetimes unless we behave like recluses for the rest of our lives.

It's actually quite liberating abandoning the feeling of trying not to catch it...though I accept those with CEV will feel Very differently.

EarringsandLipstick · 14/08/2021 08:04

Same wiping things down and using hand gel - totally pointless for an airborne virus.

Completely untrue.

Yes, it is airborne and so is spread by droplets when people cough, sneeze etc in close contact with others.

But those droplets also land on surfaces, and it's also transmitted by touching those surfaces. The virus will die relatively quickly (within hours) after being on a surface, bit of course there are many instances where people touch surfaces soon after someone else (public transport, workplaces, public areas) so of course it is spread this way.

Wiping things down & using handgel physically removes the virus and is one of the most useful things we can do.

It's shocking that at this point in the pandemic people can be so unaware

www.who.int/news-room/q-a-detail/coronavirus-disease-covid-19-how-is-it-transmitted#:~:text=%E2%80%A2%20Current%20evidence%20suggests%20that,nose%2C%20or%20mouth.

^^

clarkkentsglasses · 14/08/2021 08:06

What this thread shows is being careful, being double vaccinated, being a rule follower doesn't work.

Get on with your life OP.

EarringsandLipstick · 14/08/2021 08:12

The vaccine doesn't stop you catching covid

Untrue. For most people the vaccine does stop you catching Covid. However, like any vaccine, it's not 100% effective for every person, and it also will not protect everyone from all variants. However, it does protect most people against the Delta variant.

For those who get Covid, the effects are typically milder.

In the early stages of vaccination, it wasn't clear if it reduced the spread of the disease ie you might be unaffected but still spread it. Now they are clearer that it does.

Research is ongoing & there are questions still to be answered (eg how long protection lasts).

More information here: www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/vaccines/keythingstoknow.html

blahblahblah321 · 14/08/2021 08:15

@lannistunut

What this thread is showing is that LFTs are pretty fucking feeble at stopping us passing this thing on to our friends and families Angry
They really are. DS recently attended a BBQ with several friends, all did an LFT before going. Next day one friend tested positive (no symptoms- LFT again) and by the end of the week 6 out of the 9 had tested positive!