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Original poster

Got covid - I’m furious and need to vent

125 replies

RageAgainstCovid · 13/08/2021 10:35

Not really expecting any responses and not really asking a question, I just need to get this out of my system!

Since this all started we (DH, DS age 8 and I) have been very careful. To the extent that it has caused some friction with my family. Only seen them a few times. Am double vaccinated.

Earlier in the week DS and I felt a little bit bunged up, did lateral flow tests, all of us negative. Saw family, but the next day felt worse, and have now tested positive.

I’m absolutely furious and feeling unbearably guilty.

First, we’ve been so fucking careful. It feels so fucking unfair. I opened FB earlier and seeing pictures of people flying on holiday, in restaurants and at festivals. We’ve done nothing other than outdoor walks since this started.

Second, I can’t bear the guilt of waiting to see if I’ve infected the people I love most. Most are double vaccinated, but one isn’t due to being anti vaccine. I’m alternating rapidly between the guilt of possibly passing it on and anger at them refusing the vaccine.

I barely slept last night for worry, and I know I need to rest to get over this.

Just needed to get it all out really. No need for any responses, but if you do, please be gentle. I’m feeling very fragile Sad

OP posts:
EarringsandLipstick · 14/08/2021 08:16

@clarkkentsglasses

What this thread shows is being careful, being double vaccinated, being a rule follower doesn't work.

Get on with your life OP.

Rubbish.

It shows that it's possible to catch Covid even if are being very cautious, like other viruses.

OP should not feel guilty. Of course not.

But the 'rules' & being doubly vaccinated have allowed the disease & its deadly effects to be controlled so that vulnerable people are protected, and the numbers dying and seriously ill are reduced.

And OP can still get on with her life while doing the above.

Jessica60 · 14/08/2021 08:38

@mudlarks

OP, please don't beat yourself up. Like others have said, Delta is such a sneaky transmissible bastard that it's extremely hard to avoid, even if you don't sit inside restaurants, socialise indoors etc. Today who are suggesting that the OP hasn't been 'careful' if her 8 yo was going to school ... What on earth is she meant to do?? There was no provision made for children whose parents preferred them not to risk infection by continuing home learning, not after schools reopened. In any case, school was finished weeks ago now and I wouldn't have thought her infection was down to her child getting it at school. OP, I might be one of those less careful people you were thinking of - though we've been extremely risk-averse for the entire thing, a week ago we cracked and booked flights to see my parents, who live abroad. Not seen dad for years now. And then, equally rashly, allowed DS to have a big tent sleepover with 2 friends earlier this week... I asked them to do LFT first, they all did and they were all clear. And now one of the friends has, it transpires, been ill in bed with a high temperature since he went back home ... Waiting with bated breath for his PCR test but I don't have a good feeling about this. I think we're about to cancel our flights. Sad
What was the result of this? Did you have to cancel flights?
ChristmasCurry · 14/08/2021 09:56

@EarringsandLipstick

Seeing as Covid-19 has now found to be rarely spread by surface transmission, deep cleaning of surfaces is pointless.

Katie517 · 14/08/2021 11:37

I think people who are getting it after being overly cautious and not mixing are picking it up easier as their immune systems haven’t been exposed to germs for the last 18 months in the same way that babies and toddlers are picking up every bug going. So being overly cautious and doing nothing over the last 18 months except walking outside probably wasn’t the best idea.

Warhertisuff · 14/08/2021 11:56

@EarringsandLipstick

Wiping things down & using handgel physically removes the virus and is one of the most useful things we can do.

Given that studies indicate that transmission via surfaces is extremely rare, its hardly "one of the most useful things we can do" and done to excess is probably does more harm than good, both by encouraging health anxiety and neuroses.

Cornettoninja · 14/08/2021 11:59

@Katie517

I think people who are getting it after being overly cautious and not mixing are picking it up easier as their immune systems haven’t been exposed to germs for the last 18 months in the same way that babies and toddlers are picking up every bug going. So being overly cautious and doing nothing over the last 18 months except walking outside probably wasn’t the best idea.
I think it makes very little difference to covid. There is nothing comparable to covid to ‘exercise’ your immune system. That’s what made/makes it such a problem. The ‘novel virus’ bit.

Other viruses like flu, you may have a point with residual immunity, but not covid. Your immune system only gets ‘exercised’ with it through an infection or vaccination.

MRex · 14/08/2021 12:19

You're double jabbed and your DS is young, so hopefully you will all be fine. Everyone including the rest of your family would all be exposed at some point, that's what vaccination is for, to help reduce or even eliminate symptoms at the time of exposure by responding quickly to clear the disease. The unvaccinated person made their own choice to catch covid without vaccine protection, it's been crystal clear for months that society will not be locked down to prevent exposure for adults who choose not to vaccinate. If they haven't been exposed this time then they will be soon enough, so no need to have additional concern.

OrangeSharked · 14/08/2021 12:21

Tbh OP a lot of people have had covid. The people who have been flying, going out to eat etc. probably have had covid at some point

The non vaccinated person is an adult who made their choice. It was their decision to not have the vaccine, and if they subsequently get covid that was their choice. It's not up to you to protect them more than you would others

SamW98 · 14/08/2021 17:27

You can't feel guilty. The more we start to mix, the more we have to get used to the fact we could possibly be at risk of catching it ourselves or passing it to others

I'm not being flippant but unless we go back to living in bubbles, we need to learn to live with some risk

A few of my friends went to an outdoor music event last weekend. Everyone had to have proof of being couple jabbed or provide a negative LFT - and still there was a small outbreak and around 50 people who attended have now tested positive. Its no ones fault everyone did the right thing but its not foolproof

SamW98 · 14/08/2021 17:37

www.forbes.com/sites/roberthart/2021/08/04/fully-vaccinated-half-as-likely-to-catch-delta-covid-variant-and-less-likely-to-infect-others-study-finds/?sh=76e36e24281c

The vaccine doesn't stop you catching COVID - it halves your chance of being infected. The main benefit is that the chances of you becoming very ill or dying is drastically reduced

I know its only anecdotal but everyone I know who has tested positive in last few months has been double jabbed though thankfully only one of those ends up in hospital. Most just felt a bit crap for a week

ExmoorValley · 14/08/2021 17:38

@lannistunut

I understand the feeling, but it is perhaps because you felt if you were 'good' or did the right thing you could control it?

We can't control it, it spreads so easily and all measures to tyr to limit it have been taken away.

The government have let it get to this out of control state, and you are not to blame.

I really hope your family are OK Flowers

It's not out of control at allHmm
millenialblush · 14/08/2021 17:52

You want to pass it on to the anti vaxxer for not having the vaccine, but you have the virus?! And have probably passed it on?! Hmm

lannistunut · 14/08/2021 17:55

@ExmoorValley

In my opinion, it is pretty out of control. The government lost control due to Delta and opted to give in to it. Whether it will work out Ok or not remains to be seen come September.

Honeyandcondensedmilkplease · 14/08/2021 18:36

A little baffled as to why you are annoyed with the anti-vaxxer. Their body, their choice! The vaccine doesn't stop you getting it, I've heard some people suggest the vaccine is why they haven't had it as badly, however considering a large portion of people did also not have it too badly pre-vaccine either, that could well have been the case regardless. They have every right not to want a new vaccine, we are still learning about the immediate and short-term affects of it, without being judged by family. It is hardly the plague!
You will probably be fine. Honestly the worst bit for when we all had covid was that we had to self-isolate, we had had worse colds and have done since! For the vast majority of people they will have no to minimal symptoms.

Moonface123 · 14/08/2021 18:49

People who have decided not to get the vaccination probably trust their immune system to cope with it, which in most cases the immune system will do just that. A vaccine is just a precaution, not a prevention, l wouldn't worry.
I am resigned to the fact that l will be infected at some stage, yet l have worked in a busy supermarket throughout the pandemic and remained in perfect health, like the vast majority of my collegues, and the ones who did get it, only had mild symptoms.

AvonCallingBarksdale · 14/08/2021 18:49

I know its only anecdotal but everyone I know who has tested positive in last few months has been double jabbed though thankfully only one of those ends up in hospital. Most just felt a bit crap for a week

That has been exactly our experience - I know more people who have had covid post-jab than pre-jab, myself included.

Gwenhwyfar · 14/08/2021 23:51

"Honestly the worst bit for when we all had covid was that we had to self-isolate, we had had worse colds and have done since! For the vast majority of people they will have no to minimal symptoms."

An unvaccinated person is still more likely to get it even if most cases now are among the vaccinated because most people are vaccinated. That means the unvaccinated are causing their healthy close contacts to have to self isolate. It's one thing having to self-isolate because you've been unlucky and caught Covid, it's another having to self-isolate because you were a contact of a person who decided not to vaccinate themselves!!!

TheKeatingFive · 15/08/2021 00:41

It’s not your fault OP, it’s a highly transmissible, airborne virus. There were always going to be limits on how much you could protect yourself from it.

Dial down the emotion, look after yourself and when you’re through it you can relax and enjoy your life a bit more.

breadwidow · 15/08/2021 06:52

Having just caught COVID (despite double jab) I can really understand where the OP is coming from. I've not been as careful as you (eg I have been back in the office a lot as wfh was not doing my mental health any good) but really frustrated that despite living in central London and going to an office & with kids in school where I get it is in the bloody country side where cases are lower!! My son passed it to me and DH and just after spending week with my parents in the countryside so must have picked it up via one of two 'busier' activities they did (swimming and a visit to a cafe - where they did eat inside which I prob wouldn't have done so a tad peed off with my parents about that).

I'm also mega pissed off that it disrupted our very small holiday plans (just a few days camping in the same county where my parents live). I know it's random but it's galling to see via social media that people who risked abroad (which tbh I couldn't handle the planning stress around) have been fine (as have those who have been to many more places within the uk over the summer) while we have all got it and what limited holiday we had planned has been ruined, with more money wasted than I expected (you cannot get money back on unused car hire and campsites). The timing also rather sucks work wise for me as I was due to start a new job this week (I can wfh so don't have to be off but I feel awful so expecting to have to take first week off sick).

So I totally can see why you are fuming OP.

I do also feel pretty bad for disrupting some of my family's plans but so far they are all ok and as all double jabbed are free to go out & about from Monday.

My DH is fed up with me ranting about the unfairness of it all, and I do know it's pointless but it is nice to vent here

user1477391263 · 15/08/2021 07:20

There is nothing comparable to covid to ‘exercise’ your immune system. That’s what made/makes it such a problem. The ‘novel virus’ bit.

I'm not sure it's as clear-cut as that. Colds are mostly caused by other strains of coronavirus. My own general impression is that you do get some crossover immunity with this kind of thing. I'm not saying that the idea suggested (people who have been locked down at home have less immunity to COVID19) is necessarily true, as we have no evidence either way, merely that it's not out of the bounds of reason.

chalamet · 15/08/2021 08:37

This will probably come off as harsh, but assuming you are not CEV, hopefully this will show you that locking down your family to the extent where none of you have apparently been in a building other than school since last March was probably not that necessary.

I’m a teacher and I haven’t had it yet. I’m going to pubs, restaurants, shops, etc. Still wearing a mask. I’ve been INCREDIBLY lucky to be one of the only classes in my (large) school not to have ever had to close. If I get it I’m not going to feel bad about myself and neither should you.

Unsure33 · 15/08/2021 08:42

@blahblahblah321

Of course the LFT tests are not 100% accurate. And it also depends on them being done properly .But my sIL does them regularly for work and it picked up his infection and hopefully stopped him spreading it at work . So it does stop SOME infections.

Unsure33 · 15/08/2021 08:43

@chalamet

Of course you could have already had it and been asymptomatic. And have good antibodies.

Lots of unknowns with this virus.

Cornettoninja · 15/08/2021 08:44

@user1477391263 the cross immunity with other cold viruses was theorised about early on and I believe there are numerous studies still ongoing. Although they may provide immune systems, particularly in children who have the most contact with cold viruses, with some tools, the rate of spread suggests that they’re not as useful as some might hope. Turns out that on average people come in to contact with a corona virus (as opposed to other viruses causing colds) a surprisingly low number of times over the course of their life. Off the top of my head I think I read a figure of around 4-6. Then the immunity doesn’t last a lifetime. It might explain the degrees of severity people experience but again, nothing conclusive has been found.

Exposing us all to a common cold corona virus would have been far cheaper than the development and administration of vaccines!

Stuffin · 15/08/2021 08:47

I do think this attitude of being good and following the rules means not catching a virus should stop. OP I would be challenging your thinking around this as to why you are furious? Getting ill isn't about fairness and goodness or a moral judgement. And attaching that thinking to any illness including covid is why we have all the nastiness about people 'spreading it'.