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Original poster

I’m struggling to accept the inevitable :(

179 replies

Catcalledluna · 13/08/2021 07:33

I would really appreciate some support with accepting that sooner or later I’m going to get Covid.
I could be hospitalised and I could die.

I’ve always known this and It’s not something that has controlled me.

10 weeks ago, my work colleagues husband, 38, caught Covid, was in hospital for 5 weeks before sadly passing away.
He had no health conditions.

I haven’t stopped thinking about it since.

I’m more fearful of Covid now than I ever have been and it’s really starting to affect my life.

I’ve found myself no longer wanting to socialise, I’m avoiding supermarkets (which I have never done before) I’ve cancelled some upcoming plans to go to an overnight spa with friends, and it’s my cousins wedding in two weeks which I am now considering not attending.

I’m fully aware people have been hospitalised and losing their lives for the last 18 months, but I think it’s only now that it’s someone I know that it’s hit me :(

OP posts:
Bordois · 13/08/2021 07:36

No one can help your health anxiety.

Whatever facts and figures anyone gives to reassure you will just give your anxiety something to latch onto and make it worse.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 13/08/2021 07:39

As above.

You need to seek professional help.

Neolara · 13/08/2021 07:39

Have you been vaccinated?

Original poster
Catcalledluna · 13/08/2021 07:39

@Bordois

I’ve never suffered with anxiety. I’m generally not an anxious person.

My work colleague losing her husband at such a young age, has really shaken me :(

OP posts:
Original poster
Catcalledluna · 13/08/2021 07:39

@Neolara

Yes I have had both of my vaccine.

OP posts:
Stormyequine · 13/08/2021 07:39

It is not inevitable that you will get Covid, and you are still very unlikely to need hospital treatment or due from it especially if you've had the jabs. It might be worth a trip to the GP to talk about anxiety.

Original poster
Catcalledluna · 13/08/2021 07:40

@SmidgenofaPigeon

As above.

You need to seek professional help.

@SmidgenofaPigeon

Appreciate your opinion, but I’m happy I don’t need professional help.

I’m just feeling a little shaken after what has happened at work and panicked about my own fate with Covid.

OP posts:
CrunchyCarrot · 13/08/2021 07:42

The bottom line is, OP (and we all have to face this) is that sooner or later you will come into contact with the virus. You may even have done so already and not known. The chances of you becoming very ill and dying are very small - you probably 'know' this already but I understand that fear will stop you accepting this and you'll think the worst.

If you are vaccinated or have already had Covid you will be unlikely to become that ill. No-one can fully guarantee it, though. This is more an anxiety issue as the previous poster said, no matter what figures and facts are trotted out, you may still fear the worst.

Do you have anyone you can talk this over with, OP? Is your husband supportive?

SmidgenofaPigeon · 13/08/2021 07:42

@Catcalledluna well what do you want posters to do? No one is going to be able to reassure you to the level you want.

‘Panicked about my own fate’ ? That’s quite extreme.

CordeliasPencil · 13/08/2021 07:42

You have health anxiety, which is what you need to treat, in order to live a healthy life.

The comment "it's inevitable I will catch covid" is not logically followed with "and I'll be hospitalised and die" - that's your anxiety speaking.

It's tragic you know someone who has died, but that doesn't mean you will.

However, your mindset is being driven by your anxiety which means that what people say to you on here isn't going to help you rationalize. You need actual help.

crumpet · 13/08/2021 07:42

Not to minimise Covid, but given that the majority of the population will not catch it and die, why do you think that it is “inevitable” that you will be someone who could?

LIZS · 13/08/2021 07:42

Far from inevitable. Your anxiety is taking over. You are vaccinated (was he?) Personally would also avoid spa weekends but not weddings where you can distance and mitigate the risk with fresh air etc

crumpet · 13/08/2021 07:43

That’s quite an extreme position to take.

Original poster
Catcalledluna · 13/08/2021 07:46

@CordeliasPencil

You have health anxiety, which is what you need to treat, in order to live a healthy life.

The comment "it's inevitable I will catch covid" is not logically followed with "and I'll be hospitalised and die" - that's your anxiety speaking.

It's tragic you know someone who has died, but that doesn't mean you will.

However, your mindset is being driven by your anxiety which means that what people say to you on here isn't going to help you rationalize. You need actual help.

@CordeliasPencil

I didn’t say “I’ll be hospitalised and die”

What my OP says is “I’m struggling to accept that sooner or later I’ll get Covid”
Followed by “I could be hospitalised and I could die.

OP posts:
SquirryTheSquirrel · 13/08/2021 07:46

I'm sorry to hear you are so anxious. You don't say whether you are CEV or whether you've been able to have the vaccine, but understanding of Covid is much better now than at the start of the pandemic, so even in the (statistically unlikely) event that you were hospitalised, it's probable that you would make a full recovery.

Try not to let it dominate your life. Take sensible precautions, but don't shut yourself away. This will sound trite, but even if there were no Covid, any of us could unexpectedly become seriously ill or have a sudden accident - you can't let fear rule you, you have to make the most of the life you have, because no one is immortal.

Zippy1510 · 13/08/2021 07:47

Was your colleagues husband double vaccinated?

Original poster
Catcalledluna · 13/08/2021 07:47

@LIZS

Far from inevitable. Your anxiety is taking over. You are vaccinated (was he?) Personally would also avoid spa weekends but not weddings where you can distance and mitigate the risk with fresh air etc
@LIZS

It’s an indoor wedding.

I’m not sure about his vaccination status, I haven’t asked.

My work colleague is fully vaccinated so I can only assume her husband was too.

OP posts:
Nobloat21 · 13/08/2021 07:47

A lot of us feel the same, but we just have to crack on. This is your life and you have to live it, and that means seeing friends and family. It's bound to be a massive shock for you and that kind of thing does make you want to retreat to a place of safety. Hopefully when the shock fades you'll be able to identify how you're going to make the most of your life.

TheKeatingFive · 13/08/2021 07:48

If you’re relatively young, relatively healthy and had the vaccine, your risks are tiny. You’re probably more likely to be hospitalised or die as a result of an RTA.

We live with tiny risks all the time. Covid is now just another.

Original poster
Catcalledluna · 13/08/2021 07:48

@SquirryTheSquirrel

I'm sorry to hear you are so anxious. You don't say whether you are CEV or whether you've been able to have the vaccine, but understanding of Covid is much better now than at the start of the pandemic, so even in the (statistically unlikely) event that you were hospitalised, it's probable that you would make a full recovery.

Try not to let it dominate your life. Take sensible precautions, but don't shut yourself away. This will sound trite, but even if there were no Covid, any of us could unexpectedly become seriously ill or have a sudden accident - you can't let fear rule you, you have to make the most of the life you have, because no one is immortal.

@SquirryTheSquirrel

Thankfully I’m not high risk, but neither was my colleagues husband. 😥

I’m fully vaccinated.

OP posts:
Original poster
Catcalledluna · 13/08/2021 07:50

@Nobloat21

A lot of us feel the same, but we just have to crack on. This is your life and you have to live it, and that means seeing friends and family. It's bound to be a massive shock for you and that kind of thing does make you want to retreat to a place of safety. Hopefully when the shock fades you'll be able to identify how you're going to make the most of your life.
@Nobloat21

Thank you. It is a massive shock.

I’ve worked with my colleague for over 10 years and have met her husband lots of times.

It’s such an awful thing to have happened.

OP posts:
TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 13/08/2021 07:51

Do you drive? Do you spend each day contemplating the fact that sooner or later, you could be in a car accident, you could be hospitalised and you could die?

Roselilly36 · 13/08/2021 07:52

You need some help OP to get this into perspective. Life is for living, most of us don’t keep awake at night worrying whether we will contract cancer or heart disease. This fear is controlling your life. Good luck.

JoanOgden · 13/08/2021 07:53

Sorry to hear about your colleague's husband, how sad.

If he was 38 and caught Covid 10 weeks ago (beginning of June) he probably wasn't double vaccinated. I am slightly older and didn't have my second jab until late June. Unfortunately it looks like one needs both vaccines for protection against Delta, the first jab isn't much use on its own.

DayKay · 13/08/2021 07:53

Would it help if you could try to do things to improve your health and chances of you do get covid?
There’s lots of people taking vitamin d and zinc, improving their diet, doing more exercise.

I also know someone who wasn’t very old who got it and died but I also know many others, including myself, who got it and it was fairly mild.