Anyone Else Wish Boris Would Just Tell Us if 21st June is Screwed

[Tiktokersmiracle]

Honestly

They know more than they tell us

This morning, someone on here posted a link to see how many Indian Variant cases were in your town, it said 0 for my town. Suddenly this evening, MSM is saying 5 cases since April 21st

I agree wholeheartedly with Adil Ray on GMB this morning- 4 MPs, 2 days, and all 4 said something different.

I want some clarity. We deserve clarity.

I've not broken even the tiniest of rules. I've had both vaccines. I'm so sick of this now.

And I'm so sick of the constant goalpost moving- originally, they said they expected the vaccines to limit deaths and severe illness. No mention of "completely". No mention of transmission.

Now suddenly they expect it to stop all deaths, all severe illness, and transmission too!

When you have a flu jab you are told it may not protect you from 100% of illness so don't take risks. At no point do they tell you you are fully protected.

Same as when I had my first dose of Pfizer in February- don't think this gets you home and dry, don't ignore the guidance, it's only your first dose.

I know it takes a fortnight from the weekend for my second dose to kick in too.

I had to postpone my wedding last June and I totally understood why. Even then, the vaccine was this golden goose that was going to get us all on the train to quote Jonathan Van Tamm. First it was "near the tunnel," then "it's arrived at the station but you can't jump on yet."

So why, when so many have done the right thing, signed up and had their dose or doses. Why oh why, based on transmission of an illness I was under the impression that in April we had reached herd immunity from, are they suggesting it's all been for nothing?

When do we say, enough is enough?

Why does Boris think it's acceptable to say "next week" he will say yes or no to 21st June?

My wedding is 26th June. I thought, like a fool last year, it would be fine

Yet now, I'm not sleeping, I'm anxious, and I can't get excited because I did that in April and now because of Boris' ineptitude and something like a small number of people saying no to vaccines, we will be practically back to square one. Why should the rest of us sit in this constant state of flux because of them?

If they know the risks, then that's up to them.

We do have to live amongst it
The numbers are way down today again
Deaths are miniscule.

Enough already!

Stop prolonging the agony and tell us, not make us hang on in the manner of a fucking cliffhanger.

Surely we have a right to that?

@Tiktokersmiracle - there has always been a balance of risks and choices about where those risks should be taken. Prioritising open schools over open shops for example. Most of us will prioritise a funeral over a wedding, because it is a last chance to say goodbye. If you don't want to spend money then just pare it all back and have the extra party later, don't begrudge people grieving dead loved ones because that's unfair.

The end result would be the same though, you'd be married and God won't mind if your plans fall through a bit.

@cantkeepawayforever

Just rearrange for the same date next year, if you want a large party.

Two of the most happily married people I know were married with two wintesses off the street. IIRC, we didn't have all that many more than 30 at our wedding - and apart from my immediate family and DH, I didn't really notice or care.

I'm sorry for all the work and care and hope that you will have put into your plans. But you now have a choice - rejoice that you are allowed a wedding with some guests and enjoy it, or postpone again.

No I'm not rearranging for next year. Then what happens if we are exactly where we are now due to selfish people?

I told DP if it doesn't happen it's not happening and I will burn everything we have for the wedding. It's a farce. It's not fair and it's cruel.

@ThatIsMyPotato

Well I have far more friends and family than the paltry 30 currently allowed. 30 is way more than people were allowed to have earlier on in the pandemic. Could you try reframing it in your head to being lucky you can have 30?

It's not "lucky" though is it. Pretty much everyone ever before last year could do what the fuck they wanted. Some of us are on wedding date number three and still uncertain we can have what we want so no, I don't think we can reframe it as being lucky.

It's really fucking unlucky and it's shit.

For your information, we rebooked it last year on that date as the date is significant in our relationship. Hugely.

Being paid each month and doing my job which happens to also be my passion and what keeps me going in this life, is significant to me. Important, vital. Hugely so. Yet I wasn't allowed to do either of them for months. No work. No income. No help from the government. Because it was 'unsafe'. (Surprise, surprise, when we went back at the height of the winter wave, it turned out it wasn't unsafe. It just needed resources.)

People have missed their children being born, their parents dying in a different country, graduations, birthdays, the chance to progress in a career, take the trip of a lifetime, hug a relative or a friend for the last time. All those were significant to them. You're not the only special case of a missed milestone. Yours doesn't even have to be missed, it can be moved. Most of the above couldn't be.

I've said that if funerals happen in a building with unlimited numbers, and can be kept safe, why can't weddings?

No, that's not what anyone is saying. neither weddings nor fumnerals are 'safe', in the sense that you mean. However, overall, the benefits are judged at present to outweigh the risks for funerals (as a whole event, not just the service) for a larger number than that at which the benefits outweigh the risks of weddings (including both service and reception).

Getyourarseofffthequattro fair enough I was trying to look on the bright side but there isn't really one in this pandemic is there! I've missed out on a lot due to the pandemic that others have been able to do prior to me and yeah it is shit.

I told DP if it doesn't happen it's not happening and I will burn everything we have for the wedding. It's a farce. It's not fair and it's cruel.

That seems a little extreme. Don't you want to be married to him - as in, is being married not part of your calculation at all? If not, why are you having a wedding?

I actually find it quite rude of you to comment that way on how a teenager feels after this. Everyone is different. Everyone's feeling is valid. Using that emoji is just nasty.

Commenting on how a teenager feels is not rude in itself- although the comment maybe.

I would suggest you drum into your DC that they have two years before their GCSE exams to raise their grades. That's a significant amount not time. The face was to emphasise your child really is not on the scrap heap if achieving 3s at the moment, and it's your job as a parent to emphasise that. I'm sure you'll find that rude. Or I could just safely nod along with you that your DC academic future is doomed, just to be polite. I also have a DC who struggled with online learning and dropped two grades in a core subject over the first lockdown, and has struggled to catch up. We're plodding on though and will be working all summer with a view to retakes in the autumn to avoid being left on the scrap heap

Do you want an announcement to say things definitely will not be back to normal in June?

I'd rather stay hopeful with fingers crossed, because even if we have to have more resurrections later in the year I doesn't mean there won't be a few weeks of normality in the summer.

You seem very, very angry OP.

A wedding is just one day.

I'm very surprised an adult can't understand why weddings and nightclubs have been so hard hit. This is an airborne virus we're dealing with.

I told DP if it doesn't happen it's not happening and I will burn everything we have for the wedding. It's a farce. It's not fair and it's cruel. so you'd rather not get married if it doesn't go ahead this time? That seems a bit unfair on your DP.

OP, you keep up this "poor me" attitude and i think you will be very lucky if your DP wants to go through with the wedding anyway. It doesnt sound like you are bothered about the church part anyway (even if you had only 2 witnessess you would still be married) Obviously you just want the big party, well, hell dont we all but sometimes we have to wait for the things we want. We learn these things as adults.

Then what happens if we are exactly where we are now due to selfish people?

We are where we are because we have a pandemic, which has inherently created huge uncertainty, and our Government has not, at various points, acted in the best and most effective way to control it.

I am not sure that you are quite the right person to be bandying around the word 'selfish' - yes, I know it is frustrating to have to put off a party that you have been planning. However, it doesn't seem as if 'being married' is particularly important to you (compared with the party / event aspect of 'a wedding'), and it does feel as if your empathy e.g,. towards those who are bereaved is somewhat lacking.

Equally, your children are young enough that, with hard work and positive support from you and their teachers, they will be able to pull things round. Those in Y11 and Y13, who have lost very large portions of their GCSE / A-level courses to lockdown, not so much.

@Getyourarseoffthequattro exactly that

People bitching at me probably had their day exactly as they wanted, as many as they wanted and nothing to distract them from the excitement

I'm not excited at this point. I allowed myself a bit of excitement in April. What a fool I was.

Unless you've experienced the hell or being a Covid bride, the lack of help reclaiming money, the price hikes of photographers and such, then they have no idea frankly

And I've said, it's not just the wedding I'm pissed off about. We've done this since March last year. They promised vaccines were the way out. Yet here we are.

It's like purgatory.

People are being denied treatment for cancer, dementia, all sorts. The backlogs are huge. My referral for treatment was declined after review recently, despite the protests from my GP. I wasn't seen I was remotely triaged (not phoned, emailed, or notes checked so how the hell I was triaged is your guess) and told no. Despite being in pain. Despite living with my issue for 20 years and told I must wait until the age I am now for treatment. Despite it impacting on me week in week out.

Mental health crisis is rising

So is unemployment, and evictions are back on the cards now.

And all because a minority refuse a jab we put everything back.

No way is that right.

Can we please stop belittling op and infact anyone who wants a proper wedding. Yes, it's one day but do you know what it's really fucking shit having to rearrange something you've planned and looked forward to.

It might just be one day. Op might want a party. So fucking what.

Mumsnet is always a big competition of the shittiest weddings "oh I went to the register office in my lunch break and wore a shit stained bin bag and it was the best wedding ever"

Well not everyone wants that. And it's ok. And if op wants to be upset about it, then she is entitled to. Cut her a fucking break.

All the insults on this thread. It's disgusting.

When something goes completely tits up you're allowed to wallow in self pity.

@cantkeepawayforever

Then what happens if we are exactly where we are now due to selfish people?

We are where we are because we have a pandemic, which has inherently created huge uncertainty, and our Government has not, at various points, acted in the best and most effective way to control it.

I am not sure that you are quite the right person to be bandying around the word 'selfish' - yes, I know it is frustrating to have to put off a party that you have been planning. However, it doesn't seem as if 'being married' is particularly important to you (compared with the party / event aspect of 'a wedding'), and it does feel as if your empathy e.g,. towards those who are bereaved is somewhat lacking.

I'm not even going to waste my time explaining what I mean by funeral numbers again

And I do want to be married but I want family and friends there. It's very important to me and DP. His family alone is over 30 and my friends are my family. I want them there. We both do. It's not the same without them.

[quote Tiktokersmiracle]@Getyourarseoffthequattro exactly that

People bitching at me probably had their day exactly as they wanted, as many as they wanted and nothing to distract them from the excitement

I'm not excited at this point. I allowed myself a bit of excitement in April. What a fool I was.

Unless you've experienced the hell or being a Covid bride, the lack of help reclaiming money, the price hikes of photographers and such, then they have no idea frankly

And I've said, it's not just the wedding I'm pissed off about. We've done this since March last year. They promised vaccines were the way out. Yet here we are.

It's like purgatory.

People are being denied treatment for cancer, dementia, all sorts. The backlogs are huge. My referral for treatment was declined after review recently, despite the protests from my GP. I wasn't seen I was remotely triaged (not phoned, emailed, or notes checked so how the hell I was triaged is your guess) and told no. Despite being in pain. Despite living with my issue for 20 years and told I must wait until the age I am now for treatment. Despite it impacting on me week in week out.

Mental health crisis is rising

So is unemployment, and evictions are back on the cards now.

And all because a minority refuse a jab we put everything back.

No way is that right.[/quote]
All those things you’ve listed aren’t the fault or a few unvaccinated people.

They’re happening because there is a pandemic, and because the UK government’s management of it has been quite appalling.

Stop blaming it on those who refused the jab a few months ago. This didn’t start a few months ago.

I told DP if it doesn't happen it's not happening and I will burn everything we have for the wedding. It's a farce. It's not fair and it's cruel.

If my DP had said that to me I would have questioned whether I want to marry him at all!

And all because a minority refuse a jab we put everything back.

That isn't true, though, is it?

If we look at the entire population, there is a very large number of people - 0-35s - who are not vaccinated. Schools, in particular, are vast reservoirs of unvaccinated people in daily close contact, and so we HAVE to react quickly to either pause re-opening or even go backwards if new variants emerge that have the potential to cause a huge rise in infections in this group. While this group may not get very ill themselves, with no vaccine being 100% effective, acting as a pool of infection will inevitably cause more cases in the community. Pausing dates to avoid the creation of potential mass-spreading events is sensible, not cruel - and it is NOT the result of some selfish people. It's the result of the inherent uncertainties of a pandemic, and some mishandling by the government.

Think I saw a tweet from Peston saying that he has been briefed that chances of further relaxation on 21st June are practically nil. He has generally been fairly accurate so I’’m assuming this is fairly likely to be correct.

@Getyourarseofffthequattro

Can we please stop belittling op and infact anyone who wants a proper wedding. Yes, it's one day but do you know what it's really fucking shit having to rearrange something you've planned and looked forward to.

It might just be one day. Op might want a party. So fucking what.

Mumsnet is always a big competition of the shittiest weddings "oh I went to the register office in my lunch break and wore a shit stained bin bag and it was the best wedding ever"

Well not everyone wants that. And it's ok. And if op wants to be upset about it, then she is entitled to. Cut her a fucking break.

All the insults on this thread. It's disgusting.

When something goes completely tits up you're allowed to wallow in self pity.

Thank you so much for this. I've been biting my tongue for fear of banning but that's exactly it.

I've put so much time and effort in. And to have it potentially screwed by others sucks.

I don't want a whimper. I want his family there as they are hugely important to me. I've been part of his family longer than I was begrudgingly part of my own. He is one of quite a number of siblings all of whom bar one is married with at least two children. That's without the cousins who are so important too. It's a huge family! I couldn't begin to pick who gets cut. We even have nieces and nephews with partners and kids if their own.

Then my friends who are like sisters to me. Our God children. Our local mates who have made the last year bearable by phone calls and they managed to get us drunk on our original date via bottles of wine, gin and a crate of DPs fave beer on the doorstep. They tied balloons round it all in the front garden before we got up, our bay window made me jump when I opened the blinds and wax faced with colourful balloons with silly faces on. How could we cut them?

It's the time, the effort, the stress, the date is significant, all to be shat on at the last hurdle, all when if people had of give for their jab, we would be OK despite this variant. Because that's who is still going to hospital- the vulnerable who said no. And I have relatives in the NHS who are pissed off this is the case, just as things were calm. The ignorance effects them too. They're the ones facing an influx of cases that could have been avoided.

@FoolsAssassin

Think I saw a tweet from Peston saying that he has been briefed that chances of further relaxation on 21st June are practically nil. He has generally been fairly accurate so I’’m assuming this is fairly likely to be correct.

I would say that this is far more likely to be true than that the 21st will go ahead as planned. A best case scenario would see some modest changes on the 21st, rather than complete re-opening. A worst case scenario would see some backtracking on the recent re-opening.

And to have it potentially screwed by others sucks.

It has been affected by the virus. Not by some mythical, demonised 'others'.

I agree ‘Cantkeepawayforever*.