Driving 80 miles to meet student daughter for a walk

[walkornot]

She would drive 20 miles to meet me. She went back to her uni town before lockdown. She's okay but struggling at times. Thinking of meeting her next weekend for a walk. Bad idea?

You know the answer already OP.

Yes, bad idea. Sorry she is struggling but you can talk via video call, you don't need to travel to see her.

No one should. But I would. My dc come above everything else.

Why ask mumsnet? Why do you need a load of strangers to berate or validate your choices? If your daughter needs you, just go!

If she was struggling I absolutely would. And I would bring her back if that were possible.

I am extremely compliant with the rules. This is fine IMO - comes under caring.

Of course you should go. If you thought she was fine you wouldn't consider it.

I would totally prioritise my own daughter if she was struggling and away from home. Go and help her.

I would OP.

Personally, I think it's fine. You're meeting outdoors for a walk so the risk is low and it sounds as though your daughter would benefit for mental health reasons.

On the other hand, you could argue that it's not in the spirit of 'staying local' (which does make sense for transmission reasons) and you're also opening yourselves up to the potential of a fine.

You'll get all sorts of conflicting responses on here, OP. I think you just need to do your own risk analysis and own your decision, whatever that is.

but struggling at times
Depends how deep this is
I’d be there in a shot for mine if serious mental health assistance required. In a shot.

If she's struggling then do it. Out of lock down I drive 100 miles for a walk with my best friend.

I absolutely would if my daughter needed me

Why is she struggling?

What support has she accessed through university welfare services or from her peers?

You should only go if she is really not coping, and in those circumstances you should be urging her to see her GP asap.

Of course you should. Speaking on a video call is not the same. I'd give her a hug too.

Covid is not the only thing which matters.

A couple of weeks ago I wouldn't have considered it, numbers were so high and there were those women with the peppermint tea. But now things seem a little bit calmer, hopefully even more so next week, so I'm wondering. Wouldn't for a friend but this is my daughter...

Your call OP. Can't tell you what to do.

Is she actually having face to face learning? Otherwise surely the answer is for her to come home if she is struggling that much?

No f2f. Coming home would definitely be against what is advised - they were told to stay put

I would. Young ppl have been thrown under a bus. You'll be outside so zero risk to anyone as long as you socially distance.

If she is really struggling I would go and collect her and bring her home.

@walkornot if your daughter is not happy please bring her home. She needs the support of her mum, not to feel like she is trapped and abandoned.

Ugh,just go. I really despair of the people on here screaming,no you can't,it's breaking their rules. Well actually,I despair for their kids and what they're putting them through

I would go and bring her home. She's your daughter. The way they have trapped students into going to uni promising face to face teaching then restricting them sometimes to their rooms in halls of residences is awful.

There was a lady in the news yesterday that drove 200 miles (Norfolk to Gosport) to see her daughter and got caught by the police.
How is she struggling? Is she just fed up and bored like everyone or is she genuinely struggling?

I would