Driving 80 miles to meet student daughter for a walk

[walkornot]

She would drive 20 miles to meet me. She went back to her uni town before lockdown. She's okay but struggling at times. Thinking of meeting her next weekend for a walk. Bad idea?

If my child was unhappy I’d drive wherever to go and see them.

I think it’s impossible to say. What other factors are there to consider.

Will you genuinely just walk or will you hug or go forward a coffee or something?

Have either of you had COVID?
Who else does she and you live with? If she lives in a flat with 10 other students and you or someone you live with are old or vulnerable in any way then I wouldn’t. Likewise if you work somewhere where you mix with a lot of people then it’s not fair to see her and for her to potentially mix with her flat mates. Will she tell her flatmates?
It also depend how bad you think she is.

@Beetle11 No. She knew when she chose to go back to her University that that is where she would have to stay until the guidelines changed. We are in 2021. We all have a dozen ways we can talk to people now - including seeing their faces, their expressions, their body language, and hearing their tone of voice. that is what I would do.

If she were in such a state that she needed further help, then the OP's dd can change her mind, drive home, and live at home. The OP says she isn't. The impression given is she is 'feeling down and wants her Mum' - like hundreds of thousands of people across the country.
My student daughter I actually have spent a month with over Christmas (due to the early finish of term), and she was hear for the Summer. In my case, it is my other dd that I long to hug, to see in person, to actually be in the same space as, but, you know, we are in a pandemic. We are all being asked to stay local.
We are debating if we ought to go to our local Country Park (perhaps 3 miles away?) rather than just walk from our doorstep.
Because we know of people who are dying, because the hospitals do not have the capacity to cope. It isn't just from Covid.

I want this to be over, so I want people to do all they can to limit any possible spreading, and also not to be out and about adding to the risk of things like traffic accidents - which I know everybody thinks won't happen to them, but RTAs do happen, every day.

Daughter CAN DRIVE

She's an adult. If she wants to come home she can get there.

@DareIask

Daughter CAN DRIVE

She's an adult. If she wants to come home she can get there.

What's the difference between the dd driving home or her mum driving to her

Seriously?!

If daughter can't manage at uni go home. A visit and a walk with mum won't change things for long.

@DareIask

Seriously?!

If daughter can't manage at uni go home. A visit and a walk with mum won't change things for long.

It might though. I'd do it without a second thought.

Like I said earlier. Serious concerns about well being ... go.

Anything less... don't

Yes do it

I'd go if dd wanted me to after we'd thought about it a bit. She wouldn't have to be desperately suffering either. This lockdown sucks, it's not working very well anyway, it could go on for months. One middle aged woman driving 80 miles for a walk outside with her dd isn't going to make any difference to anyone.

@Frodont

I'd go if dd wanted me to after we'd thought about it a bit. She wouldn't have to be desperately suffering either. This lockdown sucks, it's not working very well anyway, it could go on for months. One middle aged woman driving 80 miles for a walk outside with her dd isn't going to make any difference to anyone.

Jeez. Let's hope not everyone does the same

@BackforGood I too have children away at uni at the moment and I would travel to see them if they needed me to. We are all aware of what is happening in hospitals and I certainly wouldn’t break the rules lightly. However I’m afraid that if I had to make a choice my child’s well-being would come first. We’ll just have agree to disagree.

Jeez. Let's hope not everyone does the same hmm

Why? No difference between that and meeting a mate for exercise in the park?

@Frodont

Jeez. Let's hope not everyone does the same hmm

Why? No difference between that and meeting a mate for exercise in the park?

Apart from the stay local thing.

But go right ahead and interpret things how you see fit.

I absolutely would if my DC was struggling

But we're all struggling right now. That doesn't mean we can all drive loads of miles across the country to see someone.

Op how much is she struggling?

Do it, do it, do it. This is the wrong place to ask: it's a nest of lockdown zealots, where nothing matters apart from subservience to a prime minister whose only talent is playing the clown and deliberately lying to those who pay his wages, and a disease which is sooooooooooooo deadly you have to take a test to find out if you've got it. Let the statistics show that people are no longer cowering at home, terrified by the fear campaign (which our taxes are paying for).

I would, with NO SHAME AT ALL.

@wanderings

Do it, do it, do it. This is the wrong place to ask: it's a nest of lockdown zealots, where nothing matters apart from subservience to a prime minister whose only talent is playing the clown and deliberately lying to those who pay his wages, and a disease which is sooooooooooooo deadly you have to take a test to find out if you've got it. Let the statistics show that people are no longer cowering at home, terrified by the fear campaign (which our taxes are paying for).

I would, with NO SHAME AT ALL.

Everyone I know in RL would do this.

If you're a support bubble then do it. I hope she feels better.

Just do it. You don’t need to ask permission on here (it’s akin to asking if it’s ok to drink a bottle of gin at an AA meeting).

Do it. As long as you're taking sensible precautions you've got to do what you can for your daughter, I know I would. But don't bother asking on MN next time unless you like being lectured.

Think I would bring her home. Her mental health is important.

At end of October, just a few days before November lockfown started I drove 140 miles to see my dd and 2 dgs, to walk around a NT property gardens and watch dgs tide on bikes and to.hsnd over their Xmas sacks. It rained all day too but I enjoyed it and it gave both me and my dd who I had not seen since July a huge boost. I have not seen her since.

@Beautiful3

Think I would bring her home. Her mental health is important.

And leave her car behind?

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