I can't take this anymore

[anonymous229]

I just don't have the energy for anything. Today has been cold, grey and miserable and there's nowhere to fucking go because everywhere is closed. Yes there's the local park but I've been there about 500 times since March and I'm bored sick of it.

How much longer can they keep us in this fucking awful state? I've had enough, I'm drained, I'm depressed as hell.

We've sacrificed so damn much for a virus that kills about 1% of people who catch it. I know that sounds callous but I'm facing the loss of my job (I'm self employed in events - ha!) and potentially my home because of this. The toll it's taken on my mental health is disastrous, but I feel like me and my family (and other families like us) are just collateral in all of this.

I know people will probably say things like we're lucky to be alive, but I don't feel lucky.

I can't live like this any longer.

[TopBitchoftheWitches]

Op, shit happens and we have to deal with it. No one likes this but we get on with it

[jessstan1]

I'm just sipping a mug of chocolate in front of the telly. Sheer bliss!

[Iheartmysmart]

Sympathies OP, completely get where you’re coming from. I live alone and have been WFH since March. I’m so bloody sick of my own company!
Only 2 weeks in and it feels like forever. Actually at the point now when I’m slightly disappointed when I wake up each morning as it’s just the beginning of another shit day.

[anonymous229]

I'm just sipping a mug of chocolate in front of the telly. Sheer bliss!

Good for you. I assume you're not facing losing your job or your home. Posters like you just prove the point that we are most definitely NOT all in this together.

[TheGreatWave]

@jessstan1

Can you not enjoy being indoors, cosy and warm? I don't 'get' the obsession with going out. Of course we need fresh air and a degree of exercise but it is lovely being indoors too, doing your own thing or doing nothing, sitting in your dressing gown all day if you want.

If you have children you can camp on the floor in the living room.

If you are on your own - what's the problem?

I don't sit around all day in my PJ's and dressing gown, I would be only doing this if I was really ill.

Why would I want to camp in my living room?

I am not a big going out person, but this at the moment is shit. Enjoy it if you wish, but not everyone does.

[tortoiseshell1985]

@grassisjeweled

I agree with you. Enough already! We have to get back to normality

We do yes

[Christmasfairy2020]

Lots of things are open. All outdoor trails etc. I'm wfh and fed up seeing same 4 walls. I've been going on these walks at the weekend and practising mindful walking x

[anonymous229]

Op, shit happens and we have to deal with it. No one likes this but we get on with it

I have been getting on with it, believe me. But I've got to the point where I can't take any fucking more.

[tortoiseshell1985]

@Iheartmysmart

Sympathies OP, completely get where you’re coming from. I live alone and have been WFH since March. I’m so bloody sick of my own company!
Only 2 weeks in and it feels like forever. Actually at the point now when I’m slightly disappointed when I wake up each morning as it’s just the beginning of another shit day.

That's how I am, wake up and it just hits you

[Christmasfairy2020]

Do you live near any country side

[anonymous229]

Lots of things are open. All outdoor trails etc. I'm wfh and fed up seeing same 4 walls. I've been going on these walks at the weekend and practising mindful walking x

I live in a built up area of a big city - we don't have outdoor trails.

[anonymous229]

That's how I am, wake up and it just hits you

This, 100%.

[tortoiseshell1985]

@Christmasfairy2020

Lots of things are open. All outdoor trails etc. I'm wfh and fed up seeing same 4 walls. I've been going on these walks at the weekend and practising mindful walking x

No museums, or attractions or NT places.
No cafes, restaurants pubs, theatres
Shops you have to queue to get into so you feel obliged to be quick when you get in
This is existing not living

[PrivateD00r]

@anonymous229

losing their businesses that they have put everything into.

Yes, it's completely and utterly soul destroying. I just don't have the energy to start again.

I can understand that, and of course you are right that not all of us have that aspect of worry. To be honest it is why DH and I decided against him starting his own business a few years ago when he was considering it. We need job security.

It is a horrible horrible horrible time for anyone who doesn't have a secure job, my heart really does go out to you.

[user1471466920]

I really feel for you op, such a horrible way to spend your baby’s previous first year. We’re not affected as badly as others and my husband and I can still work and the schools are opened thankfully but the whole situation is a shit show, so many people are suffering with their mental health and we don’t even know if lockdowns work. It’s relentless and I’m really missing the Christmas build up and people! Hopefully things will be better soon.

[user1471466920]

Precious not previous

[TheGreatWave]

But it does make me feel like we're really not all in the same boat!

Same storm, different boats.

[Bagelsandbrie]

I feel exactly the same.

I am not the kind of person that enjoys being indoors at home. I like to be out and about all the time. I am doing a lot of walks and outdoorsy stuff but usually that is broken up by stops in cafes, going out for lunch, browsing shops with no ffing masks (!), museums, galleries etc. It’s just so insanely BORING at the moment and my dc are now starting to get seriously fed up. Yes I understand the seriousness of it all - I’m actually in the clinically vulnerable group myself and should be shielding - but it’s all just shit.

[Genevieva]

OP the regulations can be broken if you have a 'reasonable excuse'. This includes anything that is protected by the Human Rights Act, such as your right to a private and family life. So if you make a decision that, because of your mental health, you need to stay with your parents for a couple of days, then you are legally allowed to do so. Regulations do not supersede any pre-existing legislation and there is plenty of room for interpretation.

There is a small risk of someone calling the police and the police giving you a fixed penalty notice (originally invented for parking offences and almost certainly being missed by the government at present), but most police can distinguish between a rave and a person in need of some family support. Some police forces are not giving fixed penalty notices for lockdown anyway because the proposed fine is higher than a court fine, so all someone needs to do to reduce the payment is reject the fine and ask to be heard in court instead.

It sounds like you have PND. Again, if your depression is exacerbated by wearing a mask you do not have to wear one. You can do what is best for your health.

I am not advocating breaking the regulations, but I hope this clarifies that you can put your mental health first and that the regulations exist within the confines of pre-existing legislation that protects your human rights.

[Happygogoat]

I'm with you OP. It's disproportionate now. I can't see a recovery for the economy and our kids in decades.

We aren't in this together. We are the collateral. Life was never risk free and never will be, this is shit but it's another risk in life. People don't want this life.

[PenguinIce]

I have started to follow the mantra ‘fake it, till you make it’. I tell myself it is great to have ‘time’ for another walk; it’s great to spend so much time with my dc who are normally off doing their own thing and it’s great to sit and have deep meaningful conversations with my other half (in truth I am bored to death of talking so much with him I am now really worried if our marriage will survive when we are both retired 🤣🤣).

Honestly I hate living like this but realise that it is not going to change any time soon so try to only allow myself to be truthful 10% of the time. The rest I try to follow the ‘lockdown is great’ theory.

[anonymous229]

To be honest it is why DH and I decided against him starting his own business a few years ago when he was considering it. We need job security.

The economy relies on small business owners. And I did have a secure job until the fucking pandemic hit!

[Itis6oclocksomewhere]

@jessstan1

I'm just sipping a mug of chocolate in front of the telly. Sheer bliss!

For you!
People are writing about their businesses collapsing and losing their homes. You might not understand it or be in a similar position, but try to be sympathetic to what is going on in their lives. How insensitive.

OP and others in a similar position, I feel for you all. It's very hard at the moment. I only hope it starts to get better soon.

[AfterSchoolWorry]

@jessstan1

I'm just sipping a mug of chocolate in front of the telly. Sheer bliss!

🙄

Read the room fgs.

[cologne4711]

It's like Covid is the only game in town and everything (and everyone) else can get fucked

I agree.

OP can you go somewhere else? You are allowed to travel for exercise, you don't have to just go to your local park.

I haven't queued to get into a shop for months, late afternoon is usually a good time and might also be a good time to try a garden centre.

Can you meet with friends for a walk? Go and find a cafe with an outdoor area (I know it's not exactly cosy in November, but better than nothing). I met a friend with a new baby the other week and am meeting her again this week for a walk.