I can't take this anymore

[anonymous229]

I just don't have the energy for anything. Today has been cold, grey and miserable and there's nowhere to fucking go because everywhere is closed. Yes there's the local park but I've been there about 500 times since March and I'm bored sick of it.

How much longer can they keep us in this fucking awful state? I've had enough, I'm drained, I'm depressed as hell.

We've sacrificed so damn much for a virus that kills about 1% of people who catch it. I know that sounds callous but I'm facing the loss of my job (I'm self employed in events - ha!) and potentially my home because of this. The toll it's taken on my mental health is disastrous, but I feel like me and my family (and other families like us) are just collateral in all of this.

I know people will probably say things like we're lucky to be alive, but I don't feel lucky.

I can't live like this any longer.

GetOffYourHighHorse Oh I think my parents are dispensable? That’s a fucking appaling thing to say.

As it was I nursed my mum through brain cancer but as it wasn’t COVID then she doesn’t matter. But yeah, I think my folks don’t matter. You clearly love yours more than I love mine. Go you!!

And “granny” has her own opinion if she wants to see her family. That’s up to her and maybe, just maybe she misses her family so much she’s willing to take that risk.

'mean, I could go on and on and I'm sure many could add to it.'

We had a normal ish July and Aug albeit with social distancing and face covers. I have seen family and friends before numbers stated to soar again, even went to the cinema. Went away in aug with 4 other households.The pubs closed the beginning of nov. It is now nov 22nd. This 'lockdown' is for a month and ends next week. As I said, perspective is needed.

I accept other areas have had different restrictions at different times, but none have been like the initial proper lockdown with schools etc shut.

We had a normal ish July and Aug albeit with social distancing and face covers.

Yes, perspective is needed. By you. Not everyone has your privilege. I was isolating for much of the summer in preparation for major surgery, for example. I was extremely lucky to even have it given the disruption to hospitals and the waiting lists some people are having to put up with but it meant 8 weeks of being on my own as I needed to be very cautious before and after. The hospital were straight with me that I couldn't afford to take any risks because there were concerns then about it massively increasing your chances of dying if you got the virus after an anaesthetic (I think they think differently now). I did start meeting up with people after that, and had a very lovely, if low key, holiday with one friend which made a huge difference to me but that doesn't change the fact I'm sitting on my own now and will be for a long time. And not everyone knows lots of different households of people who were willing to mix even in the summer - my closest family refused, for example, because they have a cancer survivor in their midst who didn't want to risk getting ill. I can talk about that having been disproportionate but I couldn't force them to meet up, whatever I felt in terms of my level of risk.

So many people don't have the kind of life you clearly have for complex reasons. A lot of that is not because of anything they've done wrong. It isn't necessarily that simple to magic up loved ones or people to spend time with.

And yes, it will be fabulous if this lockdown does ease up next week. It will make a concrete difference to me, but there are potentially going to be people living in certain tiers who still have to cope with significant restrictions.

A little empathy and understanding goes a long way in life. There are so many things we could all look at and go 'that isn't that bad.' It's not your place to make that judgement.

@Nickynacky, I know from previous encounters that there is no reasoning with GetOffYourHighHorse.

I can't bear it either OP

@jessstan1 you are assuming everyone lives in a cosy, warm house. Maybe they rely on being out for their mental health. Maybe they are experiencing domestic violence. Such a naive stance to take.

RonaLisa Oh I know, I’ve had sport with her before.

It still as sounds me how a poster can be so ignorant though. And I very much doubt she will reply to my post where I have told her how appalling her comment was.

@GetOffYourHighHorse have your ever suffered with mental health issue? I hope to god you are not a healthcare professional. I nearly took my own life last night. I must be one of the lucky ones

No reply GetOffYourHighHorse? Have the courage of your convictions and reply to my post.

[quote Extraslice]@GetOffYourHighHorse have your ever suffered with mental health issue? I hope to god you are not a healthcare professional. I nearly took my own life last night. I must be one of the lucky ones[/quote]
@Extraslice It's okay - you didn't think of dying of the Almighty Covid, so your death wouldn't have counted for anything.

Because Covid deaths are the only ones that matter.

Extraslice How are you feeling today? Do you have support?

@RonaLisa precisely. Catching covid is the least of my worries (and I am a pregnant nurse)

@GetOffYourHighHorse

'Has your income been affected in the last 9 months?'

I've said a few times those with financial difficulties or closed businesses of course I have sympathy for.

Not so much those who are bored, have decided restrictions are a waste of time (despite France etc all doing the same) and think it's only the old and sick die, so whatever.

In other words, no, your income has not been affected.

You'd feel differently if you were about to lose your house. You wouldn't advise disabled people to cheer themselves up with a nice bracing walk, either, if it crossed your mind for a single second that such people might be reading your posts. However, it seems that you are unable to imagine that other people might be finding this really, really hard - and not just because they can't go to Primark which they've never been in in their entire lives

[quote Extraslice]@RonaLisa precisely. Catching covid is the least of my worries (and I am a pregnant nurse)[/quote]
All I can say is that you are absolutely not alone in finding this situation hideous beyond words. There are a lot of us here who have struggled to put one foot in front of the other since March, for our various different reasons (but all related to lockdown and the general situation). Don't give up.

RonaLisa But she did go away on a break in August so that was nice for her. Just be like her!!

'Oh I think my parents are dispensable? That’s a fucking appaling thing to say.'

Yes I thought so too when you said 'let's be realistic it is the mainly the elderly who die' implying it doesn’t really matter.

GetOffYourHighHorse So is it not a fact that the average age of deaths is about 82? Did I say it didn’t matter, but let’s be honest. People in their 80’s do die.

And feel few to apologise for your comment about my parents. That was despicable.

“Feel free”

'You'd feel differently if you were about to lose your house'

Of course I would, and again those in real financial difficulty or those with actual mh problems have my sympathy,

Many more are just bored, have had enough of the inconveniences and think as its 'mainly the elderly who die' we should just get back to normal. Seemingly to have no idea that any one of us could have a lengthy stay in hospital but that doesn't matter although no one can say why strangely.

'Oh I know, I’ve had sport with her before'

'Sport'

And yet I don't recall you at all.

@GetOffYourHighHorse You went on holiday in August with 4 other households while many of us were still staying home. Hairdressers opened again on 4th July. My first appointment after lockdown was 17th September.

This all stinks of "well i got mine" #oneruleforthem.

Im wanting to do Christmas with one other household Perhaps two. No more than six people. And yet those who went on holiday are telling those of us who dont do that in Covid or non Covid times must suck it up and sacrifice Christmas. NO!

GetOffYourHighHorse That’s probably because of the sheer volume of posters who have disagreed with your ignorant views before. It’s understandable that you can’t recall them all?

And I’m still waiting for the retraction for the comments about my parents (or father in my case. My mum died a horrific death)

@HumanFemale1 Sorry, I didn't mean to sound pissed off at you, it just makes my blood boil. Bloody lanyards.

@RonaLisa @Nicknacky thank you, I’m ok and getting support. Just really angers me when people dictate how others should or shouldn’t be feeling. But unfortunately not everybody has the gift of empathy