Why does covid hate the East of England? Wrong answers only please.

[TaxTheRatFarms]

Now before I start, I’m VERY VERY GLAD that we have incredibly low numbers of coronavirus cases here in the East of England, and long may it last.

But why oh why does coronavirus not flourish here? For the purposes of avoiding doom, I’m accepting wrong answers only.

1. Whichever gene gives you webbed feet (necessary in the soggy fens) also protects against covid. (I’m a previous owner of webbed toes and remain covid free )

2. No airborne viruses can survive here as it’s so bloody windy all the time.

Any other (probably inaccurate) reasons?

Or maybe it’s too dark? Work once paid for a taxi home from London due to a monumental fuck-up with no trains able to go East. Once we’d left the A12, the car got slower and slower with the driver saying “god, it’s dark around here”. By the time we got to my place, I honestly thought he might park up somewhere and wait until morning before heading back - have often wondered if he made it back to civilisation safely!

Sugar Beet Campaign starts any day, can't see Covid coping with the mud!

No airborne viruses can survive here as it’s so bloody windy all the time.

I was going to suggest ventilation.

@Thingybob, that's brilliant.

I actually think there is some truth in the theory that Covid cant cope with the new A14 layout near Cambridge. This morning I nipped to M&S at Swavesey services before heading to St Ives and found myself on the A14 towards Huntingdon. Took me bloody ages to work my way back to the Wood Green junction.

You can stick your city living and keep your covid. These are two teenagers socially distancing fishing this evening miles away from anywhere else. In the distance you can just see Ely cathedral. It's 20 miles away! They would refuse to catch Covid because it isn't the pike they've got their eye on.

And Emma - that bit of road is dreadful. I also can't understand the roundabouts and junctions by Bar Hill anymore. Last time I attempted to get on and off of the A14 there there were either no signs, too many signs, or wrong signs. It's possible Covid is sulking in Bar Hill Tesco.

Suffolk born and bred, I love this thread ☺

A retired engineer started explaining the history of the drainage of the Fens to it...

Ah, Cornelius Vermuyden, if only you'd been here to oversee test-and-trace!

On Covid's second wave attempt, the retired engineer started reading fenland poetry to it.

This thread has made me very happy - Suffolk-er here (though only since a child - not born here or lived here for generations so not local obviously 🤣) and lived in Norfolk and Cambs.

Lots of great answers but the truth is we don’t go far and try not to talk to anyone. It’s what I love about living here most 👌🏻

I just bloody love the fens though. Nowhere else looks like this or has so much space! Even though the engineering of them does sound boring. I get a lot of twitchers my way in the Autumn and Winter because of all the migratory birds. They'll be here soon for the swans and geese from Siberia. They could act as a second wave of boredom repellent.

I grew up near the fens, they horrified and fascinated me. I’m desperate to remember the name of a children’s book set in generic Fenland about lost treasure (king John’s I think) and a creepy tree trunk that came to life, wrapped in a carpet - anyone recognise it from this terrible description?!

There are quite a lot of big open spaces in Other Countries though phlebas 😀

It is still trying to find its way through Cambourne.
Has so far been twice past Morrisons and had to u turn by the council offices.
Failing that it is stuck at the Dutch roundabout.

Yes @EmmaGrundyForPM and @phlebasconsidered I agree, it's the new A14 layout betwixt 'untin'don and Cambridjjjj. It looks quite nice though (comforting thought as you drive miles in the direction you had not planned on taking....)

Norridge girl here (or hare).
Love this thread.

It won't get hare have no fare...it can't got off that there blinkin' NDR. Stuck on one of them blummin roundabouts.
Loada squit, they are.

@phlebasconsidered yes that is horrendous.

in August my 78 year old mum came from Hadleigh (the Suffolk one, not the Essex one) to see us for the first time since Lockdown. I had warned her that the A14 road layout had changed at Cambridge and that in order to go onto the A428 she had to stay in the LH lane, not the right hand one as previously. We got a panicked phone call from.her saying she'd forgotten that and was now in Bar Hill, please could we tell her how to get to.ours from there. I really couldn't think how to direct her because the junctions are all changed.

Does anyone else suspect The Fens were the inspiration for the place where The Ickabog supposedly roamed? As we were reading it during lockdown, I had a really vivid picture of the area surrounding Ely. So obviously that's why covid struggles to make much headway round hare

It's because the grass in the East of England is different. All you need to do is pick a long stalk with a good seed head and suck on it. It gives you some kind of immunity. Those in the West of England try this but it doesn't work because the grass is a different species.

As a Norfolk girl I am related to myself many times. Therefore I only just have me and I have the whole extended family round - no gatherings of 6 here :-)

Because Chris Sutton.

@noblegiraffe

It was told to go to Haze-bruh but couldn't find it anywhere on a map.

Next up was Windom. Also failed.

Haha. Yes.

It's stuck on the A17.

Sophie
Thanks, that was like going home.
Lived all over Norfolk and Suffolk for about 12 years. Miss the places.

If anyone is feeling home sick for the Essex Coast, there is a lovely piece in the FT today from Essex girl Sarah Perry ( The Essex Serpent) on her trip to Mersea Island recently. Hope this link works:
t.co/XVQWbb9cIN?amp=1