Why does covid hate the East of England? Wrong answers only please.

[TaxTheRatFarms]

Now before I start, I’m VERY VERY GLAD that we have incredibly low numbers of coronavirus cases here in the East of England, and long may it last.

But why oh why does coronavirus not flourish here? For the purposes of avoiding doom, I’m accepting wrong answers only.

1. Whichever gene gives you webbed feet (necessary in the soggy fens) also protects against covid. (I’m a previous owner of webbed toes and remain covid free )

2. No airborne viruses can survive here as it’s so bloody windy all the time.

Any other (probably inaccurate) reasons?

Noble
Maybe all the covids are hiding in this city of “Narch” I keep hearing about?

@TheId

The (weird pulsating) NHS Covid app says that I am in a medium risk area in Cambridge.

Does it say low risk in the Fens?
How far out of civilisation would I need to venture? Ely? Chatteris? Or would I need to go to Manea (shudder)?

Ah Manea - being threatened with being assigned to walking the High Street in Manea in the middle of winter was enough to keep many a Policeman in line.

How about Benwick? I reckon Cabbage Patch Corner in Benwick is doing a sterling job in repelling the Covid.

@ParisianLady

It came, got stuck in the Histon Road roadworks nightmare and hotfooted it back down the M11 to London

this made me laugh. 3 years redoing the bloody A14 and then they decide to do the Histon Road. DH is so glad he's wfh, not sure his blood pressure would stand the diversion along Kings Hedges!

Perhaps the population is not as dense as everybody says?

Nothing wrong with webbed feet anyway.

Narch only started serving foods on slates two years ago, we are always way behind the times...

Turns out Wax jackets, Hunter wellies and the occasional flat cap are even more effective at repelling covid than hand soap

Organic humous and crudites.

Ooh Benwick

I once had to go and pick up a pram from there that my SIL had bought on eBay. I honestly think I have never been to a more Godforsaken spot (and I have been to Manea). My car kept bumping down this single track road for what felt like hours further and further from civilisation and finally I arrived. It was like a scene from Deliverance. Little children playing in the dusty street stopped to stare at the stranger and every curtain was twitching.

I think Covid would be too scared to venture out there.

Oop thought you meant South East! It's definitely something to do with Alan Partridge. Perhaps it visited a travel tavern and decided not to leave too.

@TheId

Ooh Benwick

I once had to go and pick up a pram from there that my SIL had bought on eBay. I honestly think I have never been to a more Godforsaken spot (and I have been to Manea). My car kept bumping down this single track road for what felt like hours further and further from civilisation and finally I arrived. It was like a scene from Deliverance. Little children playing in the dusty street stopped to stare at the stranger and every curtain was twitching.

I think Covid would be too scared to venture out there.

Like a scene from Deliverance is a very apt description.

Forgot to double check A14 closures & failed to realise that although normally every Monday, thats except the twenty-seventh Monday of the month when it’s closed till the next full moon. Took a wrong turn off the detour and is stranded somewhere in the gravel pits.... 🤷‍♀️

This thread has had me laughing out loud. Thank you.

Got washed away 🤓😂

Nah we are all rule followers and anti social sods apart from making sure others follow the rules 😂 I’ll be on Runton beach sun or rain it’s lovely.

@noblegiraffe how about Cossee?

This has made me laugh a lot when I really needed to laugh a lot - thank you!
But there was a serious proper answer re Narch early in the pandemic - www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/coronavirus-norwich-death-rates-ons-lowest-highest-a9500106.html. Basically it's because you never pass through the East on account of all the piles of sugar beet and we're all fit and well because of all the sugar beet we eat.

All joking aside, what do you really think are the reasons the North West, North East and Wales are so much more affected?

Let's be honest, Covid enjoys hanging out in hip, happening cities. Ipswich, Diss and Kings Lynn do not meet its bar.

S'loada o squit.

Its a nightmare to travel too?!

Nweeramoonanorl

@Aworldofmyown

Its stuck in traffic at the M25/A12 junction and can't get any further into Essex. Its watched Towie and is terrified.

Wouldn't blame it the a12 is shit

Covid19 hasn’t been issued a passport yet as it can’t stop smiling in the photos.

If anyone with Covid has been on Cromer Pier this week, the virus will definitely have been blown out of them💨. Could be that.
@Damnloginpopup you’re my grandad aren’t you 😆

High proportion of Scandinavian genes from Viking times. Concentrated by interbreeding ever since. Also only 1 person every 10 miles helps! Natural hatred of 'Lunnenrs' stops us getting too close to the second home brigade.

Because the east of England smells a bit like deep heat and Coronavirus gets a headache around that smell