Why does covid hate the East of England? Wrong answers only please.

[TaxTheRatFarms]

Now before I start, I’m VERY VERY GLAD that we have incredibly low numbers of coronavirus cases here in the East of England, and long may it last.

But why oh why does coronavirus not flourish here? For the purposes of avoiding doom, I’m accepting wrong answers only.

1. Whichever gene gives you webbed feet (necessary in the soggy fens) also protects against covid. (I’m a previous owner of webbed toes and remain covid free )

2. No airborne viruses can survive here as it’s so bloody windy all the time.

Any other (probably inaccurate) reasons?

It's waiting for Acle Straight to be dualled.

Haddiscoe dam dykes are too dangerous to cross.

It's resting in Little Snoring

It was diverted off the A12 by Colchester one night and is still trying to work out how to get off a roundabout.

Could have been following the Whooper swans and hit a power line. We had the first of the "Winter swan death" power blips last night.

It’s started growing on some of our trees in mid Suffolk and now they’re all dying ☹️ I thought we’d got away with it

Down here where I am we're tough as old leather and told coronavirus to get outta ma pub!

Everyone knows EA is 50 years behind the rest of the country, so Covid won't arrive til 2070.

*The only people I know who did get it got it at a meeting to plan how they were going to move to meeting remotely.

Alanis you will find that that really is ironic.*

Laughing so much at this, @TheId! (And, yes, that song drives me mad too )

@Warmhandscoldheart

It's waiting for Acle Straight to be dualled.

Haddiscoe dam dykes are too dangerous to cross.

It's resting in Little Snoring

Yay! My home village gets a mention! I come across the dam yisty an dint see nuf'n so you mebbe onter suff'n.

It's the pointy peat shovels. Everything is afraid of the pointy peat shovels.

Some of you are so good at typing in the dialects! I’ve lived here forever pretty much and I still can’t understand people 😳

@Ylfa

Some of you are so good at typing in the dialects! I’ve lived here forever pretty much and I still can’t understand people 😳

Well yint local aryuh. Gottabe'eer frevvernuday.

I reckon covid is scared for the reason quoted in Hot Fuzz. Everyone and their mum has a gun. Who? farmers...farmers mums.

Loving this thread. I'm in the east and have a low rating on my covid app.

It's still trying to figure out when you can get through Welney

It's because we're fucking insular and antisocial! Lived in Norfolk ages and to say the locals are reserved is an understatement. Even before coronavirus most of the conversations I had were at a 2m distance. Plus, here the local accent involves keeping your mouth as tightly closed as possible. Happisburgh, anyone?!

I still don’t know how to say Sproughton. Haughley gave me problems too. Wyken. Tacolneston. Costessy.

But I was BORN here. I went to school in Norfolk. My mother was born here as was her mother but we all have (or had) American dads so I guess I’m just 1/4 local and will never be acceptable 😂

I have a theory that nobody really knows how to pronounce anything and there is no right way at all

Norridge, like porridge. Abroad you got Dunnidge, Lostuff...

Got my own bingo going on here noe. Haddiscoe, tick, Tacolneston, tick (great grandparents had the Pelican at the start of the war), Norwich, tick (great grandmother and her line going backwards). I think I'm still missing Buxton (my first village) and Aylsham (my dad's home) for a full house...

Brian in Melton explaining how we have fought off Covid

www.facebook.com/watch/?v=260040001756289

😂 that’s genuinely too much 😂 oh Suffolk!

It’s gone all around Will’s mother’s and still not got here yet.

Love it!

I came on this morning to say that COVID didn't know when the Welney Road was open.

Ha! 'Cos the Welney signs are still up even though it's passable! Gone the long way round....

I bloody dread the flood every year - adds an hour to my journey. I do enjoy seeing the hare coursers stuck in it though!

Potholes have been our best line of defence - so deep that they take ages to get out of and then 5 seconds later you’re down another one.

And don’t forget, you need to be very special to be the “right side of the gates” in Frinton, so they’re going to be completely safe!