Why does covid hate the East of England? Wrong answers only please.

[TaxTheRatFarms]

Now before I start, I’m VERY VERY GLAD that we have incredibly low numbers of coronavirus cases here in the East of England, and long may it last.

But why oh why does coronavirus not flourish here? For the purposes of avoiding doom, I’m accepting wrong answers only.

1. Whichever gene gives you webbed feet (necessary in the soggy fens) also protects against covid. (I’m a previous owner of webbed toes and remain covid free )

2. No airborne viruses can survive here as it’s so bloody windy all the time.

Any other (probably inaccurate) reasons?

I haven't got a clue. I live here too but moreover where I live and everywhere around it that I go has never bothered with SD. Flouted all the rules visibly, constantly and in large numbers . (I haven't really I've stuck to stuff ), very low numbers of mask wearing .....and our cases are still low.

Because my Mum moved there, & she won't take shit from nobody nor any bloody virus.
She also believes that being near to Sandringham will somehow protect her 'cos her heroine lives there (sometimes).

She's also not a native of Norfuck, but seems to have adapted quite well.

Probably got lost in the Fen blow

Its stuck in traffic at the M25/A12 junction and can't get any further into Essex.
Its watched Towie and is terrified.

Because the A14

very few trains?
Seriously - you have trains going to Cambridge than you usually have to change to go to Kings Lynn or slower trains to Norwich & slower still further east or to go to Ipswich (most of the coast doesn't have any trains - & some larger town(s) inland )
Corona Virus got bored or lost on route & gave up when it was faced with the bus timetables

What’s the thing about going in and out of different doors? More ventilation? Or is the same door?

because either a)its still 1986 in the fens and
b)everyone there is related and has the covid resistant gene

or it went to Stanstead airport & is still waiting in the queue for security

Because the virus can't penetrate the Fenland Fog and it's unique odour combination of kerosene, onions, cabbage, and standing water.

(And OMG, isn't the thick autumn fog in the Fens the creepiest thing? Especially because locals don't necessarily slow down...)

The (weird pulsating) NHS Covid app says that I am in a medium risk area in Cambridge.

Does it say low risk in the Fens?
How far out of civilisation would I need to venture? Ely? Chatteris? Or would I need to go to Manea (shudder)?

@Theld the NHS app in England doesnt seem to have the option of 'Low' risk last time I looked at their explanation of what each level meant, maybe that's why?!

This has made me giggle no end as an ex resident of the east of England

Turns out viruses can't get past all the blown down trees, can they.

It was told to go to Haze-bruh but couldn't find it anywhere on a map.

Next up was Windom. Also failed.

Well as pp have mentioned, if you think about it, East Anglia is in a very good position as far as sea breezes go. It's surrounded by them. Good for blowing viruses away.

@spacegirl86

Well it hasn't hit Cambridge because it hates bikes. That's why they spent so much money on the new COVID repelling Dutch cycle roundabout.

This explains so much! I also think it’s no coincidence that cases start to rise where the guided busway line ends... The bikes and busway are casting a protective spell, clearly.

Confusion about whether the A11 is finally dual thru Elveden.

It knows that you're all going to drown when sea levels rise anyway.

@MrsWooster

It’s coming from the north and is currently on the A17 behind 16 Norfolk Line trucks in a row.

Ah. So we’re due our peak in approximately 2023 then!

WhoWantsToKnow Us locals know never to slow down in the fog. You never know when Black Shuck is on your tail. 🐺

@noblegiraffe

It was told to go to Haze-bruh but couldn't find it anywhere on a map.

Next up was Windom. Also failed.

🤣🤣🤣

@stovetopespresso

because either a)its still 1986 in the fens and b)everyone there is related and has the covid resistant gene

I'll take a), 1986 in the Fens was great for me!

Theld You never go to Manea!! You’ll be eaten by toads, surely.

Fun fact - the “ea” ending in place names like Manea, Stonea and Shippea (Hill) originally meant water, back from when fen people were amphibious.

SeasonallySnowyPeasant We just activate our gills and away we go

scarecrows 😱👀👀👹👺👻