Why does covid hate the East of England? Wrong answers only please.

[TaxTheRatFarms]

Now before I start, I’m VERY VERY GLAD that we have incredibly low numbers of coronavirus cases here in the East of England, and long may it last.

But why oh why does coronavirus not flourish here? For the purposes of avoiding doom, I’m accepting wrong answers only.

1. Whichever gene gives you webbed feet (necessary in the soggy fens) also protects against covid. (I’m a previous owner of webbed toes and remain covid free )

2. No airborne viruses can survive here as it’s so bloody windy all the time.

Any other (probably inaccurate) reasons?

Also, a local probably told Covid to "Slow you down boy".

Phlebas Is there a definitive pronunciation of Manea? I hear both “Manny” and “Mania” and I daren’t say either in case it’s some kind of initiation and I end up being stoned by the locals.

Covid only travels by motorway?

Prefers a more hilly terrain?

Norwich resident here and loving this thread!

@noblegiraffe or possick 😂

It's May - knee.
I know. Weird. The Ea means "island". Man island. There's also a Stonea and a Quanea locally.

East Anglian Ambulance Service is so shit, we daren't get ill . . .

Love this thread! Suffolk here. We all live miles away from one another and the modern world. We’re almost a completely uncontacted tribe.

@TaxTheRatFarms its definitely May-knee, rhymes with maybe (unless you're from Narfak and pronounce Maybe as maya-bee).
And Mepal rhymed with People not with Nepal. Their village magazine is called "Mepal People".

rhymes not rhymed!

Well covid sent a scouting party to Kings Lynn... the scouting party looked around and thought the zombie apocalypse had already hit Lynn. Locals just shrugged and said “oh, what are you like!”

Another advanced troop has been sent down from Liverpool on the direct train to Norwich. Except the covid commanding officer didn’t realise that the direct train takes about a year and only has a tea trolley onboard when the staff have sacrificed a virgin to the scheduling gods. So covid got off the train somewhere near Nottingham needing to get a brew and a bacon butty.

Loving this thread as a born, bred and escaped East Anglian 😂

Apparently there's somewhere in the amazon with a similar amount of cases. Them buggers is a rum o bunch though.

Too much mud on the roads for it to get anywhere- its harvest
Too many roads closed for "road works" aka laying cables for internet, something over dead slow would be good.

Actually, yes, in Ipswich there are too many roadworks/traffic lights for Covid to get past...

Because East of England doesn't even have 3G signals yet, never mind 5G.

It’s stuck at either Ely or Peterborough Freezing it’s arse off to get the connecting train.

Or...

It took one look at Great Yarmouth and hightailed right out of East Anglia

Oh but it has -

it's been up the city an it's now going.

@OhDear2200 you have just brought back some thoroughly horrible memories commuting back home to the Midlands when I was a.student here. Now I live here out of choice...

Covid seems to like the local turkey factories though...(can we add turkey to the Norfolk/Suffolk bingo list?!)

It prefers hills.

Thank you for the Manea help! I will now nod sagely every time I pass that road sign. Love the “Mepal People” too. Sounds like they should be living next the Pontipines. (Tbf if In The Night Garden was set in Norfolk it would explain everything ...)

@OhDear2200

It’s stuck at either Ely or Peterborough Freezing it’s arse off to get the connecting train.

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that the connecting train ever existed

@TeddyIsaHe

Well we’re all related, so clearly we’ve managed to breed a covid-resistant antibody in the process.

I think you are on to something there, in my town most people are their step brothers cousins or uncles and we have only had about ten cases overall.

A swan broke covid's arm on the Norfolk Broads, it needed time out to recover.