DD, shopping and 2 meters

[Jourdain11]

So, my DH took DDs (8 and 6) and DS (4) to the supermarket today. He was trying to whizz round quickly and keep the children occupied, so he was doing a bit of a "game" with DDs, asking them to go to the shelf and pick up a bag of red apples, punnet of strawberries, loaf of bread, etc. while he and DS "steered" the trolley. He had told them to be careful not to touch the other packets and so on and apparently they were being very careful.

DDs were apparently picking out the breakfast cereals they wanted (the most sugar-laden ones incidentally...this game nay not become a habit 😕) and a lady came over and told them, "You little girls really shouldn't be playing together, you know." To be fair, she probably didn't realise they're sisters - they are only 16 months apart in age and almost exactly the same height, plus don't look that similar, so she might have thought they were friends.

DD1 (apparently politely) said, "We're sisters." Whereupon the lady changed tack and said, "Well, you shouldn't be playing with the food, don't you know that you could be giving people the virus and making them very unwell?" DH came across the intervene, but before he managed to get in, DD2 began whirling her arms around and shouted, "Please GIVE ME TWO METERS!"

As you can imagine, it didn't go down well! DH apologised and got DD2 to say sorry and the lady said they were rude little girls and DH eventually got a bit fed up and snapped back at her.

On the way home, DH asked DD2 why she said that and DD2 said "because she was an annoying old bat and I bet she says it to everyone else". (Disclaimer - she did not pick up that expression from me!)

DH thought it was funny and wasn't inclined to tell her off. So - should I tell my child that shouting "GIVE ME TWO METERS?" at strangers isn't polite? I think she already knows that, but I don't want her to turn into a total brat!

And should the kids be left at home when shopping since they (quote) "obviously don't know how to behave themselves?"

I suspect many PPs are projecting tbh.

Because their children can't be relied upon to behave themselves in supermarkets, and are allowed to "bounce/scamper/dick around", they assume that all children must be the same.

It's also quite clear that many people are incapable of basic comprehension skills.

OP As others have already pointed out YABVVVU.
It is very worrying that people like you have still not realised what the advice is and abide by it 10 weeks in.

The supermarket near us allows a maximum of 30 people in at a time. Your dh plus DC is 4 people. It makes the queue longer outside and is unfair on those of us waiting.

Next week do your shopping online. If you absolutely can't for some reason (what would that be?) then your DH must make sure all the children stand holding the trolley and don't move away from it.

The reason for this is that people are trying to give approx 1m distance from other people while shopping. If your DH stays with the trolley and two children move away from the trolley to pick up the shopping then they are taking up a LOT of space that other people can't get in without getting too close. They are holding people up in their own shopping because they have to move aside and wait for the whole party to move down the aisle before picking up what they want, otherwise they risk pushing people into standing too close to them as they pass.

Clearly you have no idea what it's like in supermarkets at the moment since you haven't been in one during the pandemic but it's just not the place for a family group doing what your family was doing. It was extremely thoughtless and selfish.

Shop online.

@Shodan

I suspect many PPs are projecting tbh.

Because their children can't be relied upon to behave themselves in supermarkets, and are allowed to "bounce/scamper/dick around", they assume that all children must be the same.

It's also quite clear that many people are incapable of basic comprehension skills.

Even if these children were the absolute perfect model of decorum they would still have been taking up far too much space and inconveniencing lots of other people. Think about the square footage each person needs to socially distance. Now think about how huge that square footage becomes if you have one person at the trolley and two people moving away from it and back again constantly.

If you absolutely can't for some reason (what would that be?) then your DH must make sure all the children stand holding the trolley and don't move away from it.

No online slots?

We did try...

But it's okay, I've got the point.

Villanelle There have been people using mobility scooters, or being pushed in a wheelchair when I have been shopping as well as families. They all take up space, but you know what, I don't lecture them about it, I let them shop in peace.
Makes no odds if someone has to wait an extra 5 minutes to shop, in the grand scheme of things.

No online slots with any shops?
Make sure you book next weekend's well in advance then especially if you aren't going to be around to have the children at home.

@Weedsnseeds1

Villanelle There have been people using mobility scooters, or being pushed in a wheelchair when I have been shopping as well as families. They all take up space, but you know what, I don't lecture them about it, I let them shop in peace. Makes no odds if someone has to wait an extra 5 minutes to shop, in the grand scheme of things.

They have no option fgs - having children is not the same as using a mobility aid. What's wrong with you?

Time to arrange food delivery OP.

Genuinely, the first slot we could find was 16 June

Nothing's wrong with me Vilanelle. I just tend not to make bitter little judgements about other people.
You are the one that has issues with people taking up precious space, not me.
Just pointing out that there are other people taking up space, not just children and I am perfectly happy to wait for all of them.
For all I know, Dad is a single parent, Mum is an alcoholic, suffering mental health issues. Who am I to make assumptions and call them out about it?

Tesco is releasing slots regularly so check it every day and you should be able to get one in the next few days.

@weedsnseeds1 THIS man is not a single parent. He did not need to be taking up the space of 3 people in the supermarket, but did it because his partner was feeling under the weather and wanted a break. IDK about other people's situations but in THIS situation both parents were selfish.

If this women had minded her own business then this wouldnt have happened.

But yeah, let's blame the children and the OP.

Jourdain hope all goes well for you.

Did you miss the bit where the OP said she's being hospitalised next week, which to me seems to indicate a bit more than "under the weather".
My point is, I don't know why peoplle are taking children to supermarkets, I wouldn't know if I had seen this particular group out shopping either. However, if they are behaving themselves I couldn't care less.
Obviously people in wheelchairs can't help it, but I'm not demanding that they should be locked up with on line shopping as they take up space. Same goes for children.
They are going to be institutionalised and undersocialised enough by the end of this, without teaching them that the slightest bit of normality is off limits.
Teenage suicides have increased due to coronavirus and I can't imagine the mental health of younger children is improved either.
A balance needs to be found and if that means me occasionally having to wait a few minites, fine.

Weeds thanks for being a voice of reason. I've taken my 15yo ds who has asd from the beginning. I'm a LP. It's what's been best for us. I also shop for my shielded parents and I have worked throughout as a keyworker.

There was no rule from government about this. It was what supermarkets requested for social distancing and keeping numbers in the queue down. They also have dedicated times for disabled.

I've followed all government guidance as written.

If this women had minded her own business then this wouldnt have happened.

Or you could say if OP and her DH had been a bit more responsible and he had not taken three children to the supermarket for a game, or learning experience as OP spins it, then the situation wouldn’t have arisen either.

Itsgettingweird I'm getting a little fed up with the enthusiasm for pointing fingers and demonising people for the slightest perceived transgression.
People are embracing their inner Stasi a little too enthusiastically at the moment.

& the replies to this thread is the exact reason why I won't take my kids to the local shop whenever we need milk, bread etc. This coming week I'll need to, as we have prepayment meters and I need to top them up. They're lower now than they've ever been. Judging by the responses on here, I'll put hard hats on us all.

I think the woman was a bit out of order, but I'd be genuinely horrified by my child describing someone as an old bat. It's an awful way to describe someone, I find it offensive in adults and tell them so; my children are similar ages to your older ones, if either of them came out with that, they'd regret it for some time. I'd personally be feeling sad about my child having repeated that expression and sad that my husband thought describing someone as an old bat funny. It's not, it's ageist, mysoginistic and generally just awful.

If you don't need to take your children to shops you shouldn't be taking them at the moment, understandable if you have no choice, but in OP's case they did have a choice, and if you do take them, keep them by your side, it makes the 2m distancing so much easier (same as if you go shopping as a couple) don't spread yourself across the aisle.

@ineedaholidaynow - I understand my situation is different to the OPs as I won't have a choice but to take mine with me. 2, 5 and 8 yrs old - my eldest has ASD so couldn't even risk leaving outside the shop. We've been able to make do (we've been lucky with delivery slots) up til now but I will need to take them to make sure we have Gas & Electric. Thankfully they're all able to follow instructions & they won't be any amount of distance away from me.
Seeing some of these replies though does make me so relieved that we haven't needed to go to a supermarket.

Hahahahaha

Oh man. That made me laugh out Loud. Whirling her arms like a windmill. Screeching

Oh. That’s bloody brilliantly! Made my Sunday that did. Totally something my 8 yr old would do

While your children were dicking around in the aisles and touching all the food?
Taking food off the shelves to out in the trolley is "dicking around"? Ok then everyone in a shop must be dicking around too.

If this women had minded her own business then this wouldnt have happened.
But yeah, let's blame the children and the OP
Exactly.

Or you could say if OP and her DH had been a bit more responsible and he had not taken three children to the supermarket

We could play the reduction game all you want. The plain fact is that the woman stuck her nib in where it wasnt warranted. She interfered in something that was fuck all to do with her.

Its not the time for games in supermarkets or taking 3 kids shopping. I'm not a strict rule follower but you must be able to see how inappropriate this is. At 6 shes just too young. (Though rude)

Have you been in the shops yourself? Cant you see how anxious and worried some people are ? Take them outside to run around.