DD, shopping and 2 meters

[Jourdain11]

So, my DH took DDs (8 and 6) and DS (4) to the supermarket today. He was trying to whizz round quickly and keep the children occupied, so he was doing a bit of a "game" with DDs, asking them to go to the shelf and pick up a bag of red apples, punnet of strawberries, loaf of bread, etc. while he and DS "steered" the trolley. He had told them to be careful not to touch the other packets and so on and apparently they were being very careful.

DDs were apparently picking out the breakfast cereals they wanted (the most sugar-laden ones incidentally...this game nay not become a habit 😕) and a lady came over and told them, "You little girls really shouldn't be playing together, you know." To be fair, she probably didn't realise they're sisters - they are only 16 months apart in age and almost exactly the same height, plus don't look that similar, so she might have thought they were friends.

DD1 (apparently politely) said, "We're sisters." Whereupon the lady changed tack and said, "Well, you shouldn't be playing with the food, don't you know that you could be giving people the virus and making them very unwell?" DH came across the intervene, but before he managed to get in, DD2 began whirling her arms around and shouted, "Please GIVE ME TWO METERS!"

As you can imagine, it didn't go down well! DH apologised and got DD2 to say sorry and the lady said they were rude little girls and DH eventually got a bit fed up and snapped back at her.

On the way home, DH asked DD2 why she said that and DD2 said "because she was an annoying old bat and I bet she says it to everyone else". (Disclaimer - she did not pick up that expression from me!)

DH thought it was funny and wasn't inclined to tell her off. So - should I tell my child that shouting "GIVE ME TWO METERS?" at strangers isn't polite? I think she already knows that, but I don't want her to turn into a total brat!

And should the kids be left at home when shopping since they (quote) "obviously don't know how to behave themselves?"

[Figgygal]

That would have pissed me right off
They shouldn’t have been there in the first place
For their own protection as much as anything

[justasking111]

Even two parent families can have one parent working at the moment so we are all one parent families at times. Good to see a dad handling three children who are switched on enough to know the two metre rule.

[Shodan]

I'm surprised your DD didn't shout "STRANGER DANGER" tbh.

[Jourdain11]

Not a wind up! Genuinely wanted to know what people think about the shopping thing.

Yeah, agreed perhaps DH needed to keep them closer. (He said so too.)

I was at home sick - wasn't really feeling well enough to entertain and keep an eye on the children, who were going a bit stir-crazy at home. We really needed shopping and DH thought it would be best/easiest to take them with him. In hindsight, maybe he shouldn't have taken all three.

I didn't want to answer this because I'm not wanting to look for sympathy or drip-feed, and I didn't really think it was relevant anyway.

[AStarSoBright]

I hope this is a joke
I'm struggling to imagine many scenarios that would have made it necessary for your husband to take 3 children shopping today, other than essential work (which I'm sure you would have confirmed by now) or you're extremely unwell (again, I'm sure you would confirm that)
Children shopping should be avoided where at all possible.

[Rainallnight]

My DC haven’t set foot in a shop in ten weeks. There are very, very few good reasons to take three DC into a supermarket at the moment. (Excepting single parents, of course)

[AStarSoBright]

Ok x-post. You are unwell, the children should still have stayed home.

[NeutralJanet]

Aww your children were going stir crazy at home were they? Maybe you should have taken them on a day trip to Barnard Castle instead of the supermarket.

[Butchyrestingface]

On the way home, DH asked DD2 why she said that and DD2 said "because she was an annoying old bat and I bet she says it to everyone else". (Disclaimer - she did not pick up that expression from me!)

Your SIX YEAR OLD said that?

[Nixen]

So your 6 and 8 year olds were responsible enough to be bouncing around a supermarket getting stuff off shelves but not to sit on the couch and watch a film while you sat next to them? Sure

[Clemmieandareallybigbunfight]

We've really strayed a long way from normal now haven't we?

The op was sick, the husband stepped up (as he should) and parented his kids taking them all out and managing them in the supermarket. This woman took it upon herself to interfere with this, criticise his kids and generally behave badly. Two months ago Mumsnet would be ready to burn her at the stake but suddenly this is fine and kids can never leave the house again? Covid is a mostly mild illness but it's destroying our economy, our futures and our communities. We need to get a collective grip.

Op your dd sounds fab. She'll go far.

[Nixen]

‘She’ll go far’
Yeah, rude and insulting her elders at 6. Something to be really proud of!

[Jourdain11]

@Butchyrestingface

On the way home, DH asked DD2 why she said that and DD2 said "because she was an annoying old bat and I bet she says it to everyone else". (Disclaimer - she did not pick up that expression from me!)

Your SIX YEAR OLD said that?

She has a disturbing ability to parrot what she hears. On further questioning, that one was picked up from grandpa...

[NuffSaidSam]

'DH thought it would be best/easiest to take them with him'

For you. For him. Possibly for them.

Absolutely no regard for anyone else. That's the problem OP.

[NuffSaidSam]

'We've really strayed a long way from normal now haven't we?'

Erm...yes. About 10 weeks ago when we entered lockdown due to a global pandemic.

Keep up.

[Jourdain11]

I've got the message! And I accept that it might have been misjudged, but I don't think it was a crime.

[BackforGood]

1. I dont think it was rude to remind someone encroaching her space or the 2m rule
   
2. She did know the 'old bat' was rude, as she waited until they were in private to say it. Now, whether you think that is okay or not is going to be different for different families. SOme on MN will be horrified, others will be pleased they waited until they were in private, and another group on here are proud of their ability and willingness to swear as often and loudly as they can - so - who knows where your family draw that line
   
3. There is NO WAY they should have been in the shop in the first place. Which is the crucial thing. Your dh should have left them at home with you and shopped on his own.
   

A single parent needs to shop on their own. A parent with a partner at home needs to leave the children with the parent who is at home.

[Clemmieandareallybigbunfight]

Thanks I'm aware of recent events and would point out lockdown doesn't mean abandoning normal human behaviour. Since when was it ok to behave like an unpleasant enforcer when you step out of your door? Who are these people criticising small kids in shops or calling the police on their neighbours.
It's really bringing out the petty shrew in some people.

[Jourdain11]

The "game" incidentally, was to keep them occupied and speed things up. Really biting my lip here ... I wasn't there so I couldn't swear to it, but I do not think they were running around or messing about.

[palacegirl77]

Mum is ill.

Dad (instead of thinking 'isolate') thinks lets take the kids to the supermarket.

You need supplies - he goes, they watch a film if youre so ill.

He takes (potentially) contagious kids to supermarket....do they hild trolley and stay with him? No he sends them on "grab the shopping" missions.

Old lady (probably scared) points this out and get abuse. From a child.

Bloomin disgusting. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Keep your kids away! Trawling round a shop isnt enjoyable for them, or a necessity. If I was you I would delete this post.

[Quartz2208]

what about touching things they didnt put in the trolley

[onedayinthefuture]

The woman was very rude to your daughters when there was absolutely no need, she got her comeuppance. It's good to know you have a daughter who can stand up for herself.

[Oly4]

We’re in the middle of a global pandemic.
I wouldn’t take three children shopping Unless I had absolutely no other option (like I was single or my partner was in hospital)

[Sparklingbrook]

Blimey. I thought it was one trolley-one person at the moment. Or it should be.

[Elephantshoe]

I'm wondering why DH took three kids shopping and why they didn't stay with you. However, you may have had a good reason so I think:

I agree with your DD, the old lady was ignorant and rude first and from your post spoiling for a row with the kids in the shops and picking on them for imagined slights like touching things.

Yes DD should have maintained the 2m rule and shouldn't have to apologize for it.

Ridiculous that a busy body older woman is getting let off for interfering in a situation she knew nothing about. And of course Mumsnet screams about "respect" when no respect was initially given by the "old bat"

But you haven't answered the question as to why your DH took three kids to the store by himself, couldn't they have stayed with you while he went shopping? If not, and if you were working then you have to do what you have to do i.e.: take 3 kids shopping in a big shop.