DD, shopping and 2 meters

[Jourdain11]

So, my DH took DDs (8 and 6) and DS (4) to the supermarket today. He was trying to whizz round quickly and keep the children occupied, so he was doing a bit of a "game" with DDs, asking them to go to the shelf and pick up a bag of red apples, punnet of strawberries, loaf of bread, etc. while he and DS "steered" the trolley. He had told them to be careful not to touch the other packets and so on and apparently they were being very careful.

DDs were apparently picking out the breakfast cereals they wanted (the most sugar-laden ones incidentally...this game nay not become a habit 😕) and a lady came over and told them, "You little girls really shouldn't be playing together, you know." To be fair, she probably didn't realise they're sisters - they are only 16 months apart in age and almost exactly the same height, plus don't look that similar, so she might have thought they were friends.

DD1 (apparently politely) said, "We're sisters." Whereupon the lady changed tack and said, "Well, you shouldn't be playing with the food, don't you know that you could be giving people the virus and making them very unwell?" DH came across the intervene, but before he managed to get in, DD2 began whirling her arms around and shouted, "Please GIVE ME TWO METERS!"

As you can imagine, it didn't go down well! DH apologised and got DD2 to say sorry and the lady said they were rude little girls and DH eventually got a bit fed up and snapped back at her.

On the way home, DH asked DD2 why she said that and DD2 said "because she was an annoying old bat and I bet she says it to everyone else". (Disclaimer - she did not pick up that expression from me!)

DH thought it was funny and wasn't inclined to tell her off. So - should I tell my child that shouting "GIVE ME TWO METERS?" at strangers isn't polite? I think she already knows that, but I don't want her to turn into a total brat!

And should the kids be left at home when shopping since they (quote) "obviously don't know how to behave themselves?"

'would point out lockdown doesn't mean abandoning normal human behaviour'.

That's pretty much exactly what it has meant actually.

It's meant staying away from friends and family. It's meant not going to work and school. It's meant only being able to leave the house once a day. It's meant queuing up outside the supermarket. It's meant travelling is completely out of the question. It's meant public transport is no longer for the general public. It's meant gloves and face masks. It's meant people shielding at home for weeks and weeks. It's meant many things that are outside of our normal human behaviour.

I really would advise you to have a little Google because you don't seem to have a strong grip on what's happening despite your insistence that you do.

Good Lord.

People really love to embellish for their own purpose don't they.

"Bouncing" "Scampering" "Running about" "Old lady"

The woman shouldn't have approached them in the first place, never mind said what she did. If she hadn't approached them to reprimand them, your DD wouldn't have had aby need to say or do what she did.

Not all health conditions/ illnesses are contagious.

If the supermarket had an issue with 3 children, they would not have let them in.

6 year olds are good at learning rules such as keeping 2m away, but not experienced in adult diplomacy. She was being a 6 year old, but not rude.

The lady was criticising a non-issue but overlooking the critical rule of keeping 2m apart from non-household members, especially while indoors.

@palacegirl77
that's a lot of assumptions you're making there.
I've had Covid, there's no way I could have watched my children for an hour or so if their dad had to get essentials.
You don't know if they live rurally and this is their only option. You don't know that mum wasn't working.
You don't know that the kids were "potentially contagious".
For all we know, old lady was contagious?!
That's a lot of high horse leaping you're doing.
Mum was ill, but did NOT say anything about symptoms. it could have been anything. Stop being so narrow minded

@Jourdain11

The mental picture of your DD waving the old bat off like the Karate Kid (Wax on, wax off - Crane kick!) made me laugh. No, "sass" is not to be encouraged, but I wouldn't belabor the point.
File that in your memory bank and maybe bring it up on her first date: "Make sure he gives you two meters!"

Yes, maybe too many kids, but now you and DH know. We all goof up.

I do think it's good for them to help shop. Mine are older, but it saves so much time - and honestly, gives mine an appreciation for the price of groceries! We get done 3x faster.

'If the supermarket had an issue with 3 children, they would not have let them in.'

That's not true. It's not for the supermarket to vet. He might be a single parent for all they know. They're not to know he's taking his kids for a trip out despite having a partner at home. The advice has been clear, we need to limit numbers in supermarkets. The staff at the supermarket are entitled to assume he is following that advice and only bringing his children because he had no other choice.

Just to clarify a couple of things, since it honestly was not my intention to agitate so many people:

I don't have coronavirus, or anything else contagious, and there's no reason why they would need to isolate.

My DDs are usually well-behaved in public and I don't have any reason to think that they were running around or banging into people or doing anything else like that.

DH told the girls to take care not to finger other things when they were taking stuff off the shelves. They're very aware about being careful.

Honestly, at that point they bored and squabbling inside and, perhaps this makes me selfish and pathetic, I needed a little bit of a rest from it all. But yes, it's obviously not a good solution and as I said, I've taken it on board.

[quote DamnYankee]**@Jourdain11

The mental picture of your DD waving the old bat off like the Karate Kid (Wax on, wax off - Crane kick!) made me laugh. No, "sass" is not to be encouraged, but I wouldn't belabor the point.
File that in your memory bank and maybe bring it up on her first date: "Make sure he gives you two meters!"

Yes, maybe too many kids, but now you and DH know. We all goof up.

I do think it's good for them to help shop. Mine are older, but it saves so much time - and honestly, gives mine an appreciation for the price of groceries! We get done 3x faster.[/quote]
Ha, good point re the first date - may well do that!

I’m sorry but the idea of a six year old calling someone an “old bat” has amused me somewhat. I know she probably shouldn’t say it and it’s not particularly polite, but I admit I laughed.

As for the 2m’s thing- maybe she shouldn’t have shouted, but I’d leave it. Maybe just tell her off for calling her an old bat, but also J’s be thankful she didn’t say that in public.

I’d

Personally, I'd let it go, as it sounds like your child did it just to get the 'old bat' to go away. If she regularly shouts at strangers then, yes, address it. But if this was a one-off, just let it go.

@Jourdain11 you're fine honestly. You and DH did what was necessary in times that many of us have never been through.
Be proud of your daughter for standing up for herself.
I know the game you're talking about and when you tell the kids to "go get your cereal/sweets/whatever" they just go and pick up the thing you've explained. I believe your kids didn't just randomly touch everything.
And even if they did... SO WHAT?! People pick things up and put them back all the time - even during Corona virus. There is no rule stating if you touch something you have to buy it.

I do wonder if some of these sanctimonious mums antibac ALL the items they buy from the supermarket because lots and lots of people pick things up and put them back again. Not just children.

Your DD did nothing wrong. Old lady did by judging a situation she knew nothing about. It comes from fear and ignorance her behaviour

@Jourdain11

You are neither selfish nor pathetic.
Did you ever see the movie the Wizard of Oz with Judy Garland?
Do remember the sour-faced busybody on the bicycle - Ms. Gulch - who tries to snatch Toto - and eventually became the wicked witch in Dorothy's dream?
I'm reading some posts and wondering if Ms. Gulch is alive and well - hiding behind multiple back lit keyboards and computer screens- , never mind the old bat in the cereal aisle!
You tried it. Didn't work. That's ok! Rethink for next time!

Your h should have taken the baby shopping then all 3 kids out for exercise later on.

Your dd was not unreasonable to ask for 2m but it's hard to judge the shouting because I wasn't there. Tbh I wouldn't have punished for the old bat comment as it was out of earshot of the woman. You say that your dd knew it wasn't nice to say but the hypocrisy of asking the kids not to play (again hard to judge as I wasn't there) when she wasn't 2m away possibly does mean the woman was unreasonable but then again sometimes 6 and 8 year olds (and supervising Dads) can lose concentration and be unreasonable too.

I think you're aware of the general feeling about children in shops now. Plus I think there are people who have to take their kids, so reserving others 'goodwill' for them seems the best option!

I'm sorry you're feeling crap, but DH should have taken the kids out to the park to burn off some energy then brought them hime, settled them down with a movie & told them to behave while he went food shopping & promised to bring a treat for them if you said they'd been good.

I think DD2 was fine. If they were behaving as you think they would have been, then 'give me 2 meters' is fine, and good she feels able to tell people (even if she was just being cheeky!).

And as long as she saves her colourful descriptions (from Grandpa) For 'at Home' then personally I wouldn't have an issue with it.

If your DH had to take your children then they should have all stayed by the trolley, makes the whole 2m distancing thing much easier for everyone else. You can keep any eye on the one person with a trolley in front of you but if you have 3 or 4 people moving about randomly it is much harder to keep your distance.

Thank you for the comments - yeah, I think the shopping trip was probably not one of our best ideas and not to be repeated. So it's helpful to think of alternatives and I'm grateful to people who suggested them.

I have to say that I'm a bit disappointed by how judgemental some people seem to enjoy being. The kids were running amok, the lady became a poor frightened old woman, the "I expect you're merrily sending them into school on Monday" comment - so what if I am? It's just a pity that some people seem to get kicks out of shaming and taking bites out of others.

my DH took DDs (8 and 6) and DS (4) to the supermarket today.

Why?

To buy food.

I had to take three of my children to the shop the other day. I do wish the judgmental would stop being so judgmental into others lives. You don't know all the circumstances. The woman was the one in the wrong if she if she encroached on your daughters space. She brought it on herself to be told so by being judgmental and telling off a child. If she had something to say she should have said it to your husband.

Blimey. I thought it was one trolley-one person at the moment. Or it should be.
Nope not everywhere.

Absolutely no regard for anyone else. That's the problem OP.
I will take well behaved kids over sone of the idiotic adults we have in store daily any day. Its not a crime to take kids into a shop. The adult was rude and had no right to say that to 2 small kids never mind encroach on thier space. If she was so perfect she would have stayed 2m away and waited to see what they did. They were picking things off a shelf same as she was why is that different if you are a child? And how come it didnt occur to her she could be infecting them?

Old lady (probably scared) points this out and get abuse. From a child.
Where does op say 'old'? Why would she be scared if she was willing to invade the personal space of such disease carriers as small children? Talk.about adding on for dramatic effect. 30 is old to a 6yr old!! (And over 50 is old on here apparently)

3 months ago this thread would be all "how dare she scare your kids like that? Now the only thing that matters is putting people down because covid seems to have infected people with a sense of moral superiority which they think gives them the right to judge anyone without knowing thier circumstsnces.

'3 months ago this thread would be all "how dare she scare your kids like that?'

3 months ago it was perfectly fine to take your kids to the supermarket. Things have changed.

You and the are irresponsible and your kid is cheeky. Not sure what you thought you were going to get out of this thread

Single parents have to take their kids shopping, your dh did not.

** you and dh are irresponsible

Typo

It's obviously much more difficult to keep distanced from a group of people who split and go in different directions than it is to keep apart from a group who are all together so your shopping strategy means you're getting in people's way. Also, you and your family sound tedious. However, you're obviously determined to tell us all that you're not, hence starting this thread, so crack on. Maybe get your dd to choose a comedy mug to go with your lol-some cereal next time she's in a shop, just to be really wacky and daring.