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Original poster

Anyone else just stopped bothering to go out at all?

209 replies

milkcartoncat · 13/04/2020 15:12

I was going for a 2 mile walk across the fields with my two dc every day but the last few days I can’t see the point. We’ve just sat in the house.
It seems futile. We aren’t even going in the garden. None of us even want to go out anymore, it’s frightening out there. We are just staying in the house, not getting dressed, not bothering to do anything. It’s crazy that a month ago we were out every day and now it feels as likely as going to the moon.

OP posts:
browzingss · 13/04/2020 20:10

What are you on about?

China, the possible epicentre of the virus, has returned back to normal life essentially, lockdown has been lifted.

Spain has begun to lift restrictions.

We have potentially hit peak now and will follow suit in the coming months.

Across the world we are slowly getting over the worst of it.

Yes there may be complications along the way but there will be an end. You are just having a pity party at this point.

browzingss · 13/04/2020 20:11

Why can’t you celebrate Christmas? You can’t order presents or food or even go to the shops? It’s April, December is 8 months away - how can you already deem Christmas to be cancelled?

Your poor, poor children.

PurpleDaisies · 13/04/2020 20:12

The discussions about Christmas is a huge derailment from the real problem here.

What do you think your husband would do if you did go out alone? Do you think you can have a chat with someone at women’s aid next time he’s out?

CaroleFuckinBaskin · 13/04/2020 20:13

Well my daughter is already talking about Christmas - I just think, it might not happen

So you told her that? And she is 4?!

I'm sorry, I'm trying to be sympathetic, but please stop projecting your anxieties and feelings onto your kids. They shouldn't have to deal with that.

Lefters · 13/04/2020 20:14

This was hard to read. I feel so worried for the children and for you op. You need to get help asap. Children desperately need routine even if restricted. They thrive on it. They need reassurance from you that things are ok and hope they’ll get better. It’s our job to make sure they still feel secure and are not afraid.

Traviis · 13/04/2020 20:14

What do you want OP?

PurpleDaisies · 13/04/2020 20:14

How about stopping talking about Christmas and talking to the op about her (what found very much like) abusive marriage?

Original poster
milkcartoncat · 13/04/2020 20:16

I don’t know what I want. No - I want to go to bed and not get back up again, but that can’t happen.

I didn’t give my daughter chapter and verse, I just said we’d have to wait and see what happened.

OP posts:
Traviis · 13/04/2020 20:21

I don’t know what I want.

Why did you start this thread?

Quartz2208 · 13/04/2020 20:22

Thing is though we just had Easter and from what I can tell from my own experience (and others on social media) Easter happened. We had egg hunts we had film time we had nice food - it wasnt what was planned but it happened

Christmas will happen - even in the worse case

You need help please look at the resources offered and call someone

Original poster
milkcartoncat · 13/04/2020 20:22

I don’t know - I just wondered if it was normal to have given up really.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 13/04/2020 20:23

It’s not normal not to be allowed to talk to your family or go out for a walk.

Quartz2208 · 13/04/2020 20:24

Oh OP it really isnt not in the way you are talking - please seek professional help

Traviis · 13/04/2020 20:25

And what is your reaction to people pointing out that your husband's behaviour appears to be abusive?

whatswithtodaytoday · 13/04/2020 20:27

I find the days I don't go out I sleep really badly. I don't think I get tired enough without a walk.

Original poster
milkcartoncat · 13/04/2020 20:39

Well I think dh quite likes lockdown, he knows where I am and what I’m doing all the time.

Easter didn’t happen here - I can’t go out so couldnt get any Easter eggs.

OP posts:
Quartz2208 · 13/04/2020 20:40

Your abusive relationship isnt helping

And your husband why couldnt he source Easter eggs or couldnt he be bothered

Waxonwaxoff0 · 13/04/2020 20:43

It's not normal OP. You sound like you are suffering from depression.

Normal life WILL resume again, it might take a while but it will.

Your DP is abusive and now you are in lockdown he can control your every movement. That is not a normal relationship.

Please do not give up, for your childrens' sake and for your own.

Bananalanacake · 13/04/2020 20:52

Is it only since the lockdown your DH won't allow you out, I thought maybe he's worried if you're vulnerable, or has he always been like this. When you say he doesn't like you talking on the phone how about if you call in a room where he can't hear, but I realise this may be difficult if he's controlling.

CaroleFuckinBaskin · 13/04/2020 20:52

Well I think dh quite likes lockdown, he knows where I am and what I’m doing all the time.

Do you acknowledge that you are in an abusive relationship? Do you acknowledge that this is something you need to get out of at some point? Do you acknowledge that this whole home situation will be doing untold damage to your children?

JinglingHellsBells · 13/04/2020 20:59

Easter didn’t happen here - I can’t go out so couldnt get any Easter eggs.

So why didn't the children's dad but eggs for them?

Are you allowed out at all even when we don't have lockdown?

Do you work?

Do you see your friends at all (not now of course....)?

Do you see you are in an abusive marriage?

Do you want help to change this or not?

SallyWD · 13/04/2020 21:17

I go out for a walk every day. It's not futile - it makes me feel good. Exercise is important and so is vitamin D. The weather is nice, birds are singing, flowers everywhere. It really lifts my spirits!

Traviis · 13/04/2020 21:22

Well that’s a helpful post for the OP Confused

SallyWD · 13/04/2020 22:15

I'm very sorry - I hadn't read the other posts. Now I've read some I see how concerning OP's situation is. Both the depression and the abusive husband. OP I hope you've listened to these comments and realised your husband's behaviour is not normal. I hope you seek some help for your depression. Things can change. Please don't give up.

SeriouslySoDoneIn · 14/04/2020 16:24

@SallyWD you do have a point. Fresh air and exercise is not futile. I’ve been in a deep depression for days, unable to move off the sofa or care about anything at all really. I got out today for the first time in god knows how long, the fresh air has done me a lot of good. It’s cleared my head a bit, it’s definitely helped me get things into a better perspective.

OP’s situation may be really difficult right now, but when it comes to depression you are very right that fresh air and exercise help. It was a valid comment, maybe not for the OP but definitely for those who are struggling with their mental health and unable to see the point in things.