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Original poster

Anyone else just stopped bothering to go out at all?

209 replies

milkcartoncat · 13/04/2020 15:12

I was going for a 2 mile walk across the fields with my two dc every day but the last few days I can’t see the point. We’ve just sat in the house.
It seems futile. We aren’t even going in the garden. None of us even want to go out anymore, it’s frightening out there. We are just staying in the house, not getting dressed, not bothering to do anything. It’s crazy that a month ago we were out every day and now it feels as likely as going to the moon.

OP posts:
JinglingHellsBells · 13/04/2020 16:34

Oh PLEASE read the thread.
Don't just read the title and plough in with your advice.

This has become something different and I think the OP has done a runner as she realises she has said too much and is perhaps ashamed.

OP I hope you are safe.
Call Womens Aid if you are being abused, emotionally or physically.

There are women here who can advise you how to do that without your DH hearing you or checking your phone.

Presumably as you cannot use your phone you can email for help?

AmelieTaylor · 13/04/2020 16:35

Dh goes on his own but he won’t take the children.
And he won’t let me go on my own

That's unacceptable. I suspect a lot of his behaviour is unacceptable and that you need some proper help. Would you consider contacting women's aid (email or text)?

You're allowed to escape abuse during lock down x

JinglingHellsBells · 13/04/2020 16:36

@milkcartoncat

womens aid /

Getoutofbed25 · 13/04/2020 16:39

I think you need to consider forcing yourself to take the kids outside. It’s really important to get vitamin D. Currently there is a thought that possibly low levels of vitamin D may impact the severity of Covid 19. Its just something to consider as it’s not proven but anything that can help and this is easy to do.
I didn’t want to go out today am just sick of the same walks, but i enemy and let the kids choose the route and we had a nice time chatting away and now we are in the garden enjoying the sun. I do feel better for it.

Lexijayde44 · 13/04/2020 16:40

We go maybe every three days.

I also can't be arsed most days now. I'm dreading us needing to do the school runs again. I'm already tired just thinking about it. This lockdown is not healthy

BillieEilish · 13/04/2020 16:41

JHB Some people just haven't time to read 5 pages, I read the first, empathised and tried to cheer the OP up as I am even a much stricter lockdown and believed from the title that this is what it is about.

Isla727 · 13/04/2020 16:41

It sounds like you are feeling a bit depressed OP. Are you in the extremely vulnerable category (with a GP letter etc.)? If not, then it's probably a good idea to go for a walk at least every 2-3 days so that you do not end up with Agoraphobia or seriously depressed.

I have lived in a lockdown type state for about 4 years now and provided you do lots of activities, exercise, listen to music, learn new skills etc. it is bearable!

schnubbins · 13/04/2020 16:42

I couldn't be bothered either.We live near a forest and its full of people.Everyone passes so furtively .It all so weird I could go for a walk in the neighbourhood but can't see the point of walking in circles every day and trying to avoid people doing it .I'm not depressed just pissed off Staying in makes me less pissed off.

RedRedScab · 13/04/2020 16:44

...the children are up at 7am and not asleep until gone 10pm.

Probably because they're not getting enough exercise. I feel for you OP but maybe getting the kids to go to sleep earlier could be an incentive for getting moving again?

I'd imagine a lot of us are edging towards this 'what's the point' feeling at the moment but there's always a point, especially when you've got children to look after. There will be an end to this and they (and you) need to be healthy when life picks up again.

Seriously, go for a walk. Just a short one to start with. Nobody EVER felt worse after going for a walk.

TheLadyAnneNeville · 13/04/2020 16:44

Only when I absolutely have to. Basically, this means walking my dog. In total isolation (most of the time).

Ragwort · 13/04/2020 16:46

Why doesn’t your DH allow you to go out? That is shocking, you are in an abusive relationship and need to get away. Women’s Aid or the Police will help you.

blue25 · 13/04/2020 16:46

Getting out for a walk and sitting in my garden are the only things keeping me sane. Be very careful your mental health doesn’t deteriorate. What you’re saying is worrying.

Tattiebee · 13/04/2020 16:48

We haven't been out for a walk today as I couldn't be arsed, in honesty. Been in the garden though, and try to go out for DS' sake, usually very early in the morning so there aren't as many people about. It is easy to get into the mindset of why bother, but it can spiral.

Etinox · 13/04/2020 16:49

You sound very low Flowers
What small thing can you do for your self now?

0v9c99f9g9d939d9f9g9h8h · 13/04/2020 16:49

Unless you're at risk of harm if you defy your DP (whole other thread), stop allowing him to treat you like a child and announce you're going out and will be a better parent afterwards for it. Then go for a walk and ring your mum. Then if you still feel awful, the Samaritans. Then, if you can, try to do one thing with the children that they think 'I did that with mum today', just one thing, even if it's just cleaning a window or flicking through a book. They sound like they really need you to talk to them for five minutes.

maddy68 · 13/04/2020 16:49

Yes and a real doer, I'm actually enjoying being at home doing next to nothing. ...unheard of for me. Having said that I have lost 4 friends this week to this virus so I'm acutely aware of the need to stay in

Bringringbring12 · 13/04/2020 16:50

You’re doing your children such a disservice OP.

Get up, get dressed, and haul ass to go out for some fresh air.

RedRedScab · 13/04/2020 16:52

Also, the chances of becoming agoraphobic are very real if you don't push yourself.

After a serious illness, I couldn't leave the house for months because 'outside' felt so frightening, and it was a long time before I could do it without panicking. Trying to go for walks while avoiding contact is hardly fun, but I can assure you agoraphobia is worse.

Pokkadots · 13/04/2020 16:53

I'm having to force myself to go for a walk.

Bringringbring12 · 13/04/2020 16:54

I think that your mental health may be a little fragile from what you’re saying.

However you are a mother and your children need a mother that gets dressed and takes them out for some fresh air in a field.

I had a mother with depression. I had a mother that didn’t get dressed. And whilst I sympathise OP, I says sympathise with your children a lot more.

As I say - let everything else go if you must (although living in mess and clutter also isn’t great for your children) but getting dressed, face washed, teeth brushed and a bit of fresh air - it’s important

MargotB7 · 13/04/2020 17:01

That's very sad your DH doesn't like you talking to people in the phone It is really helping me.

BillieEilish · 13/04/2020 17:02

@RedRedScab sorry to derail, only answer if you want to (obviously), but I was in hospital 3 years ago for 5 months. ICU for one month and I had to learn to walk again. I am now increasingly nervous about going outside.

Do you have any tips to stop the anxiety? I would be SO grateful.

Stopping going out has definitely made it worse. I am dreading the absolutely necessary trip to the supermarket tomorrow (Coronavirus issues aside!)

WhoIsBUhere · 13/04/2020 17:02

Pps. You can set the screen to highlight Op's post in a a snazzy colour. And your own posts too ofc. I'm a slow typist so essential for me.

I find it helpful to know what's been said.

Op, please come back.
Do you need to delete the internet history on whichever device you're on? And log out of all sites, this especially.

Are you and your DC safe for tonight?

Please ring 999 as safely as possible should you fear his behaviour become violent. Are you typing from a phone. Is the door locked or would you be able to leave the house? Even though your original post was about you not wanting to leave.

Please stay safe. No sudden movements . Do phonbe WA and I hope you get through . .

MysweetAudrina · 13/04/2020 17:03

I downloaded couch 2 5k and my 10 year old ds is doing it with me. My dd12 did it a few times too isn't bothered now. I am also doing an hours yoga in the mornings before they wake up. I'm wfh fulltime atm but have taken some leave over Easter. Your kids should be able to amuse themselves some of the time so you can get some time to yourself. I think it's ok to slob out for a day or two but anything longer than that is not good for your mental wellbeing so that is the point of it and it is a very good reason to do it. I make sure I shower and tidy every day and decided today was the day in needed to sort my diet out as I am eating so much junk that I must have put on a stone in the last month. I want to come out of lockdown a better version of myself. Hope you can find a way up and out.

Quartz2208 · 13/04/2020 17:04

OP i recommend writing another thread in relationships because I think its clear that he is your issue here and not letting you out or having space (or I suspect helping with the kids) coupled with your vulnerable status is getting you down

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