Anyone else just stopped bothering to go out at all?

[milkcartoncat]

I was going for a 2 mile walk across the fields with my two dc every day but the last few days I can’t see the point. We’ve just sat in the house.
It seems futile. We aren’t even going in the garden. None of us even want to go out anymore, it’s frightening out there. We are just staying in the house, not getting dressed, not bothering to do anything. It’s crazy that a month ago we were out every day and now it feels as likely as going to the moon.

I don't go for walks as I don't want to, I don't see the point also don't use the garden much as my neighbours are way too loud and annoying

Same here. Only streets to walk, which I find depressing, and people- dodging annoying. Have to on high alert for the endless stream of joggers. Everlasting noise from neighbours if I go in my garden. Less stressy being indoors and taking vitamin D tabs!

I understand how you are feeling. I’ve had a few days in the last week that we’ve done nothing. I actually dread going out now. But being out and getting fresh air does lift our spirits. I don’t have a garden so we have to venture on a walk.
Can you start a new routine and try to follow it at least some days?

It's important to keep getting dressed and keep having a purpose to your day. Even if it seems less meaningful than before.
A routine is a good way to stay well, as is keeping active, getting fresh air and sunlight.

There is some good advice written by Mind the mental health charity. Google "mind Coronavirus wellbeing" and click on the first link.

I suffer terribly with anxiety and depression. I am having to force myself to get up, establish a routine every day and get the kids out of the house. It's extremely important for them.

I’m the same. DH is keeping himself busy doing stuff he usually doesn’t have time for. I’m hiding in a corner still in my pyjamas.

We started out well, we were joining in with joe wicks, children doing some schoolwork, having lunch, going for a walk, going in the garden in the afternoon.
We’ve got worse since the easter holidays and no schoolwork.
Now I just think - what’s the point - this could be months and months. Can’t do it and don’t want to.

Milkcartoncat, I can empathise with the ‘weird’ feeling. I came down with a cough (no temp) on 18th March so was self-isolating before lockdown started. When I did eventually get out a couple of weeks later it felt awful! ‘You’ll feel so much better for getting outside!’ Well.. I didn’t. It was sad seeing businesses closed; it was odd seeing so few people and the part I found most disconcerting was that everyone was avoiding eachother as if we all have the plague - obvs this is a good thing that people are distancing but personally the first time I experienced that I found it made me really sad.
What has helped is going for a walk at a time where it is really normal not to see anyone (I was also having trouble waking up stupid early and thought sod this and went for a walk at 5.40 and watched the sun rise, which was really uplifting). Doing yoga (youtube Adriene’s 30 day challenge) has really helped. Also just having one thing each day to ‘tick off’ eg. Trying a new recipe, doing laundry, doing something creative. Please do try and keep eating at regular meal times, even if you don’t have the appetite for it at the moment. Apologies for the essay, sending positive vibes your way

I live in London so it's really hard to avoid people, when I did go out I was the only one making an attempt to socially distance, there was times when I had to walk in the road and on grass hills to avoid people who wouldn't even more over on the pavement and would walk as close as possible so I decided not to bother anymore, and my neighbours have been out all day every day blasting music whilst screeching at each other, I would rather stay in

Well l never went for walks much before this. I'm still working so different as I'm out most days. We did start walking most days because it was. The only thing to do apart from work. Now can't be bothered
However if you have kids l would try and get them out for a walk run or something .
Will tire them out. But you do sound a bit depressed. I think most of us are even us working. The world do different.

We've given up! DH and I are both ill (Corona? Who knows? I've been ill for a month it seems!) So DC are in their PJs all day on the computer. I know that makes me a rubbish mum, but I have no energy and no will just now. (They r loving been on screens all day! I'm hoping when DH or I feel better, we will get them out a bit )

Sad, because DS is a club swimmer normally, as well as doing football, gymnastics, athletics etc... And DS2 is usually very active on his bike and swim lessons etc..

Feel like all their hard work and fitness is going down the toilet :(

Exercise and fresh air are not pointless. I would make the most of going out now incase they strengthen the lockdown and you won’t get a choice- we’ll all be stuck in for god knows how long. Depresses me just thinking about it.

We have to take the dog walking every day. We live in the countryside so it doesn’t feel as scary. Try getting in the garden but we’ll done for staying home. I have to collect a prescription next week and will be wearing a mask.

There’s nothing to look forward to, it’s basically Groundhog Day.
The worst thing is that I can’t just stay in bed, I absolutely would were it not for dc.
It’s just as well I’m not eating else I’d be putting masses of weigh on, given the total lack of moving.

You need to pull your socks up and get the kids out into the garden and on the occasional walk. Guard against agoraphobia and depression.

Same! Was walking, gardening etc. Over the weekend I have just sat around I just can't get any motivation.
Husband is pulling rank today apparently we are going for a walk.

I've not been going out either, there are only streets to walk and I don't have a garden. I've been exercising indoors. I don't see the point of going out to wander the streets.

You sound very depressed understandably so. Can you build back up to being a bit more active in a gentle way. E.g. sit in garden for 20 minutes today. Short walk tomorrow. Try and reintroduce some semblance of routine that isn't too taxing. Do you have someone you can talk to in RL?

I’m so tired as well.
The children resist going. I think if I just had to get myself ready it would be ok but they also moan the whole time about it being boring.
It’s all such an effort - however allly that to everything. Everything is too much effort.

I get what you mean. I was enjoying the walk whether alone or with my family - I was unwell for the first couple of weeks and barely made it into the garden. Now I’m just exhausted but in a vicious cycle of feeling too lethargic and unmotivated. I’m trying to make sure I at least get some sun in the garden (we have a well placed bench that I can sit on to read) every day but sometimes even that feels too much. The kids are getting out most days as DH takes them.

I do have a very long history of depression though, I’m autistic with ADHD and it’s not unusual for me to have a few days a week where I am a hermit. I have ME/CFS as well so some of it is the worry of causing a flare up especially as the virus (or whatever bug I had, not tested!) has left me quite weak.

There are lots of aspects of lockdown I am liking (my anxiety is actually lower than it has been for months if not years because so many triggers are just not there) but this aspect - the lethargy - is one I’m really struggling with.

I have a therapy session booked on Thursday - first time doing that over video chat - and it’s one of the main things I want to discuss. My eldest is struggling with her mood too as she’s missing school friends and I need to be a better example.

I run every day and have noticed the number of walkers has really dwindled. I think lots of people must have started with good intentions that have faded off. The last few days I've only seen the other joggers.

I think the only way through this is one day at a time. There will good days and bad days, but it is a mistake to assume a bad day is the new normal. Tomorrow may be better, especially if you go for a walk.

Think you need to try your very best for the children's sake and your sanity to get a little routine in place. Routine is key to well being.

Maybe discuss with the children that Easter holidays finish tomorrow and home schooling is back on and may starting with Joe Wick's if you don't fancy going outside. Good luck. I totally understand what you are saying but at this time we need to teach our kids resilience.

I’m really sorry to hear you’re feeling so bad

When you say “it’s frightening out there” I’m wondering what you mean. Is the field very busy?

Come on OP, buck up. Make some effort.

Get those kids out in the garden and to leave you in peace for 30 mins x 2 a day.

Get some activities booked as a reward eg make a cake, bake bread, do a jigsaw, ring gps.

Insist on a bedtime that leaves you with an evening. 8.30pm is late enough for 11 year old (in bed and reading by 8pm). Earlier for 4 year old.

You cannot let yourself slide into nothingness, you don't know where it will end and its a really bad example for your children.

I think lockdown will ease around mid-June, so it's not forever. Your kids will remember this time for the rest of their lives, particularly the 11 year old.

What do you want them to remember about you handle it when the going gets tough? What will you want them to do if it happens again when they grow up?

There are ways to give yourself something to look forward to. Order yourself a present online. Plant some seeds. Send a card to a friend - just getting a text back saying 'thank you!' will give you a lift.
What little things do you look forward to doing after? Find out what your kids are looking forward to - I asked ds2 this and he said 'Going out and buying a bar of chocolate!'

There’s another week of the easter holidays.
The trouble is - the bad days are the new normal, and I can’t tell my children when or even if it will ever end.