Anyone else just stopped bothering to go out at all?

[milkcartoncat]

I was going for a 2 mile walk across the fields with my two dc every day but the last few days I can’t see the point. We’ve just sat in the house.
It seems futile. We aren’t even going in the garden. None of us even want to go out anymore, it’s frightening out there. We are just staying in the house, not getting dressed, not bothering to do anything. It’s crazy that a month ago we were out every day and now it feels as likely as going to the moon.

You are in an abusive relationship op. Please start another thread specifically on this so you can get proper support

I’ve just said to the children I don’t know how long it will last but don’t bank on Christmas happening this year. They are also close to grandparents and I’ve tried to prepare them to not see them again, even without covid.

WTAF

I mean, I’m astounded that someone would say this to their children.

Getting out makes it all seem much more worthwhile. Go really early or in the evening if you dont want to risk other people being around. Go for a walk and watch the sun rise or set. Get some focus back. You are still living even if it's modified!!

I’ve just said to the children I don’t know how long it will last but don’t bank on Christmas happening this year. They are also close to grandparents and I’ve tried to prepare them to not see them again, even without covid.*

Are you taking out your anger and frustration on your children by trying to make them suffer?

Get help for your marriage abuse OP.

I’ve just said to the children I don’t know how long it will last but don’t bank on Christmas happening this year. They are also close to grandparents and I’ve tried to prepare them to not see them again, even without covid

You need to get help and why would you say this, your children must feel very frightened.

Maybe some PP should read about how difficult it is to leave an abusive relationship. And how making someone feel stupid or to blame for not doing so doesn't help.

You certainly won't get these sorts of responses from Woman's Aid OP.

It isn’t a lie though is it - this could go on 18 months, 2 years. Also it looks like people can catch it again and again and again, in which case there will never be an end to it.
There’s no point talking to them about what they’d like to do when it’s over, because in all likelihood it won’t ever be over.

I'm taking my dogs out daily, to combine my exercise with theirs. Luckily there's a wild park just across the road. I probably wouldn't bother if it was just me.

Ah and now the whole thread has loaded, sorry. I agree with the post above, it sounds like you have marriage issues that are clouding everything else. Please consider getting some outside advice or help with that if you are able to.

That is your depressing talking and it isn't rational. It will be over, most likely by end of June. The government won't keep the economy in lockdown like this for 18 months.

And hope is a good thing. Even unrealistic hope. You can think it, write it but to them you have to fake th positive.

Some people are being ott, we had a holiday booked and I’ve told the kids it probably won’t be happening anymore, didn’t realise that made me a horrible mum, lay off the op she hasn’t done anything wrong.

I find this really worrying.

You’re clearly in an abusive relationship. He’s controlling and bullying you. You need to contact women’s aid for advice.

If you can’t pick yourself up for your children you need proper help - contact social services or even your GP.

PumpkinP

That's different. Why upset them about not seeing their Grandparents again. Also, Christmas is a long time away. Why make them anxious in April.

milkcartoncat

I feel so sad for you. You sound depressed, please try and get help.

I really limit going out. I live in a high rise and it's stressful getting the list and going through communal doors so I limit it to days I go shopping.

*lift not list

Please phone your Gp or Women's Aid and tell them not only how you feel but how your husband is behaving. Good luck

@milkcartoncat There is no proof anyone can be reinfected once they have had it.
Your children really do not need you projecting your misery onto them. It's worrying for them. They are children. You need to try to see that your state of mind is coming from the dark palce you are in with your marriage.

Can you see what we are saying, trying to help?

I am sure its very hard to face it, but you do need to accept this man's behaviour is illegal, controlling and affecting your mental health.

You can't live like this forever and your children can't watch you being bullied and controlled. What kind of message is that giving them about men and relationships?

Of course Christmas is still.on OP, lockdown or not, I'm sure santa will find all the kids, even if he brings a bit less this year, or even just a few bars of chocolate and a colouring book. Or not even the colouring book. Kids love the magic of it all. That doesn't need anything except a mum determined to bring that magic.

I think it's important for everyone, unless they are in shielded category to make the effort to get outside to exercise every day , whether this is a walk round the block or kicking a football around the garden . Important for both your physical and mental health. What is it like where you live? Are you in a town where it's difficult to distance yourself from other people? If so I can understand you would want to be careful about timing when you go out. Physical movement and fresh air should help you sleep.

It isn’t a lie though is it - this could go on 18 months, 2 years. Also it looks like people can catch it again and again and again, in which case there will never be an end to it.

OP, World War 2 went on for 6 years.
Christmas still happened. Fun and levity still happened. People saw family again. Everything eventually became normal again.

This will be normal again.

Your job, no, your mission, is to shepherd your children through this. You will source food, you will source clothing. You will buck them up with the stories of the things you'll do when this is all over.

Each morning, you'll wake up, feeling exhausted, heavy, hopeless, cold. You will go "RIGHT!" and heave yourself out of bed, hot shower, get dressed, cuppa, kids breakfast.

Figure out what "thing" you'll do on today's walk. What improvement will you make to the house, what thing will be cleaned, reorganised. What is there to keep your mind busy today.

I know it seems pointless and insurmountable, but a hot shower, dressed and cuppa will.
get you going and a good brisk walk will lift everyone's mood and make the day.

World War 2, OP. That ended. Things got better. This will too. Up you get. 👏☕💐

@PumpkinP telling children a holiday is cancelled really isn't comparable to telling them they may never see their grandparents again.

I am sorry to say but I hugely and enormously feel very sorry for your children.

You seem determined, absolutely determined, to make their world as grey and sad as possible.

Why would you tell your children such a cruel line?

Well my daughter is already talking about Christmas - I just think, it might not happen. Tbh if we are still like this we will just pretend it isn’t Christmas and not tell her because she will ask santa for things and not understand why she won’t have anything.