Is actively trying to conceive amid the current pandemic irresponsible?

[Skeeter2020]

After watching a discussion about this unfold on a whatsapp group this evening, I'd be really interested to hear your thoughts.

Overthinker1988 women all over the world getting pregnant during wars and pandemics and famines usually do so because they don't have a choice due to living on countries where marital rape is legal or the concept of saying no to your husband is culturally taboo or where women are being raped as part of ethnic cleansing or lawlessness, and/ or they have no access to reliable contraception...

It's more about considering personal risk, not the country

It's not just the increased physical risk when pregnant
but the economic problems:

We're heading for a global recession, expected to be much deeper than the 2008 financial crisis

A lot of jobs won't be safe
However, some will be, especially in the public sector

Also, some analysts think that since this recession would be caused by COVID, not a fundamental problem in the financial markets or whatever,
that the economy could jump back quite quickly after a couple of years, once the vaccine is available

So, if you can wait 2-3 years, things could be looking a lot rosier then
(or of course, they might not)

And when public health chiefs and doctors recommend against getting pregnant

• which is unprecedented of them -

maybe best to take their advice

Children conceived now will be born in a depression. I wouldn't bother.

I'm 20 weeks pregnant and now is not a good time to be pregnant believe me. I almost feel guilty even though I couldn't have predicted it. Seriously, wait until this pandemic is over.

Yes. I’m 6 weeks pregnant. I conceived just before this kicked off. I feel awful for saying it after experiencing a second miscarriage in December, but I wish I wasn’t now.

Children conceived now will be born in a depression

You have a time machine, do you?

Nope. Resources are majorly stretched. Plenty of women who are 25 weeks aren't even getting midwife appts in person. I don't feel supported or cared for right now, and the earlier you are the worse it is, because they're prioritising those with serious issues or who are due to birth imminently. It feels very lonely and I am incredibly anxious at the moment

I think it's a bad idea. With the NHS being so overrun with Covid19, you'd either have a pregnancy with very little care, or youd face risks in having to go to appointments,
The risk of being severely Ill is higher whilst pregnant.
Theres a lack of financial certainty for most, so also not fun to do with a young child.

But some people fare better than others, but I'd not welcome the additional stress during this time.

I am having this dilemma we have been trying for a second child for 3 and a half years I have had two miscarriages in that time. I am now 39. I was going to wait till I had been seen by the recurrent miscarriage clinic but wait was 6 months before this all happened and fully expect the appointment to be pushed back further.
I don't want to be pregnant with all this going on having had bad news at scans my last two pregnancies I couldn't face going to a scan without my husband but feel like this virus is means I will never have a second child and it makes me so sad.

Well unless you have substantial wealth which will keep your head above water in the event of a major recession yes, it is. We haven’t taken a hit (so far) but if I was given the choice between ttc now and never having an additional child (no matter how much I wanted one) I wouldn’t ttc. We don’t know for sure that we’ll be able to feed our existing children/ourselves in a years time, let alone an extra.

Yes just knock it on the head and put it back in your knickers for a few months at least

@anothernotherone True for some, necessarily true for everyone, and I'm not just talking about cultures where women have no agency. My grandmother got married and had her children in the hungry post WW2 years (Ok no contraception but she could've held off getting married and abstained), people in Eastern Europe still had babies during the Cold War and in the aftermath of Chernobyl. None of these times were ideal but life goes goes on.
I'm not saying everyone should rush off and TTC right now but it's not the end of the world either.

I reckon go for it. Nine months is a long time.

I would hold off. I feel incredibly worried for my children’s future and the responsibilities of keeping them safe when the world around us is crazy can be quite overwhelming. If I didn’t have children I definitely wouldn’t be trying to conceive now.

If you are in perfect health and have no fertility problems then yes its better to wait. Saying that (I have name changed for this)..... Ive had all my fertility treatment delayed untill further notice. Ive had Multiple Multiple losses and im years down the line. Im sad, Im angry and frustrated. Obviously i would love everything to be perfect (I dont want to be a burden especialy atm) but its just not that easy for me, For the last two weeks i have cried every night the realisation of another empty year, Unlike most on here i have Zero children. I have battled with my emotions, the reality is either i risk getting preg (Unlikely but not impossible) and possibly have annother MC or i risk missing my chance. So I will be continuing to TTC ,Honestly if i had no fertility problems i wouldnt even entertain trying the now but sadly i do and im aware that even if i did get a BFP it would most likely end in a MC. They always do, so i think i need every chance i get. Reading this thread has been hard for me if im honest.

Certainly not the best time - making yourself higher risk, facing financial difficulties, adding to the load on the NHS. But there's a huge gulf between those who can afford to wait and those who can't. I certainly wouldn't judge anyone with fertility concerns from continuing to TTC.

Yes - the virus has not been around long enough for a baby to be conceived and born to a mother who was infected during very early development of the fetus. How can we know if there are any ill affects if the virus has not been around for 9 months yet?

OP I dont think you should listen to anyone who already has children, tbh. It's very easy to say you wouldnt have a child when you already have one (or more!). You do you.

This thread is actually shocking. A bunch of mothers telling someone they shouldn't try for a baby and making others feel bad for even considering it. Nasty.

My DD is pregnant at the moment and it's not ideal.

Her last midwife's appointment had to be done over the phone, that's an appointment at which normally the midwife would take blood pressure, listen to baby's heart and take measurements. All things impossible to do during a phone appointment.

She had to have her 20 week scan on her own, which is not the end of the world, but she would have like her DH there with her.

She is barely leaving the house at the moment and doesn't want to go to the supermarket.

Her DH is having to work, and she terrified he'll bring the virus home to her.

On top of everything she now faces the prospect of possibly giving birth without her DH being with her, if this goes on long enough.

Given that we have no idea how the situation we are in is going to pan out and where we'll be over the next year or so, and as pp has pointed out we don't know the effect of the virus on unborn babies, I think it's would be very unwise to TTC until things are a great deal more settled.

@IVFmultiplelosses best of luck to you

@gypsywater, i have just realised how my last post looked. Im not OP btw. Just changed my name to comment on this thread as its pretty personal stuff and i didnt want it linked to my usual username. Thankyou though.

@IVFmultiplelosses
Oh I didnt actually think you were the OP! I see what you mean though!
I just think some of the above posts are really judgemental and I am not convinced (at all) that these posters wouldnt have TTC themselves if they had no children. It's easy to say dont TTC when you have children yourself!

It depends entirely on age, and if you have had fertility problems. It’s obviously not an ideal time to be pregnant, but for some women waiting several months could be the difference between getting pregnant or never having a baby. If I were in that situation I would still be going for it. I certainly wouldn’t be put off too much by the financial situation. Life is always unpredictable, you just have to make the best of it.

IVFMultiplosses I really feel for you. I get why IVF has been suspended, but it must be devastating for you. It seems ap cruel and unfair, especially when those without fertility issues aren’t being prevented from conceiving.