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Original poster

Picking DD up - urgent

318 replies

takedphome · 02/04/2020 14:42

DD23 lives in a town 2 hours away. She has been furloughed. We really want her back for her safety. She also desperately wants to come home to us (her parents and DSis). Can her DP drive her to us? What are the risks involved? She lives with her DP.

OP posts:
Thefaceofboe · 02/04/2020 15:29

If she is joining your household for the foreseeable future then surely that's fine?

NOOOOO

blue25 · 02/04/2020 15:29

Why for her own safety or are you just being an overprotective parent?

She’s an adult. She should follow the rules and stay where she is.

bigbluebus · 02/04/2020 15:29

Those saying it's fine did you miss the bit where we were told we were only allowed out for essential journeys:- to buy food/medicines, to exercise and to go to work if you are a key worker or can't work from home. This does not fit in with any of that - unless it involves DV which the OP has failed to mention.

whitesoxx · 02/04/2020 15:29

"She is under the electoral at ours." Grin seriously, what?

StormyClouds · 02/04/2020 15:30

@bigbluebus

All Uni students had letters last week saying that they had to stay in the accomodation they are in - be that at home with family or in Uni digs.

Rubbish- I have two DC at uni and neither have received anything of the sort. In fact my DD in first year was told last Wednesday that catered provision in her halls would be stopping on Sunday 29th March and basically telling her to go home if at all possible.

The uni have said they won't charge for next term's rent if all her stuff is out by this Friday.

twinnywinny14 · 02/04/2020 15:30

@StormyClouds equally if one of you already have it and are infectious then you risk passing to others- isn't that the whole point of distancing?

PotteringAlong · 02/04/2020 15:30

If she lives with her partner why is she registered to vote at your house?!

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 02/04/2020 15:31

Yes, MitziK, that's just what I was about to write but fortunately you got there first and said it much better than I could!

StormyClouds · 02/04/2020 15:31

@bigbluebus

There is no exhaustive list of what constitutes an 'essential journey', as the actual regulations make clear.

twinkle2306 · 02/04/2020 15:32

@takedphome descends on the police. People on my Facebook who were staying at another house with boyfriends have been turned around as it's not supposed to be happening to protect both households.
Is she in a DV situation? If so she'd have to disclose that if stopped and asked? If she's not they can and will turn them round.

Intelinside57 · 02/04/2020 15:32

"It's not an "I'm bored" situation. DD wants to come home for the duration of the lockdown. Why didn't she come earlier? To protect us.
I just want to know whether she can hop in the car and be driven home, and if stopped - can she say she is returning home? She is under the electoral at ours."

The answer is no she can't. You won't be satisfied with that and will keep on arguing your case but what part of Stay the Fuck at Home don't you understand? Her home is where she is now.

Wehttam · 02/04/2020 15:32

It’s a No from me sorry. It defies the whole point of lockdown and is definitely selfish and foolish. But no doubt you will just do it anyway. Good luck.

twinkle2306 · 02/04/2020 15:32

*depends

Nomorepies · 02/04/2020 15:33

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 02/04/2020 15:33

@StormyClouds

I've seen the emails sent to other students and my daughter also got one.

Many unis are also telling students that travel to empty out removes isn't essential and their belongings should not be moved until lockdown is lifted.

LemonBreeland · 02/04/2020 15:34

YABU as you have not clarified what you mean by her safety.

ReceiptsAreSweet · 02/04/2020 15:34

Why is she safer with you than at home?
I would love to be with my family too. But I can't. That's that. Why don't you understand that?

ColdTapwater · 02/04/2020 15:34

And this is why our Lockdown is going to last Months and Months.. because of people like_ YOU._ We all have relatives that we would like to be with / or be at Home with Us, but we are NOT allowed. What part of this don't you understand?

MarieQueenofScots · 02/04/2020 15:34

Is she at risk from her partner?

I'm guessing not as the partner is going to drop her off.

So why isn't she safe?

Ninkanink · 02/04/2020 15:35

Honestly, that way some people go on...makes you wonder how anyone actually copes with living in the real world under normal circumstances...(actually it explains rather a lot).

Of course it’s fine. You will have to accept that there will be some theoretical increase in risk to your household, that’s all.

Go and get her.

I8toys · 02/04/2020 15:35

I've not read it all but do we have a definitive reason why she wants to go home. Its all a bit vague.

twinkle2306 · 02/04/2020 15:36

@StormyClouds my cousin received an email asking her to stay out as well. It stated that they were following government guidelines and also offered support if needed but the message was to stay exactly where you are.
Obviously depends on how the uni are handling things

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 02/04/2020 15:36

I really hope that the government step in tomorrow and lock us down completely especially given the forecast for nice weather at the weekend. Some people really will not do what needs doing until they are forced to do it.

notalwaysalondoner · 02/04/2020 15:36

Unless she’s at risk she should wait until the end of this 3 week period - it’s only 1.5 more weeks. She has made her decision when Boris announced the lockdown - she should have come to you then. Me and DH upped sticks and moved back to my parents two days before the announcement, and my granny and sister the day after. That was the time to make those household rearrangement decisions, not now when everyone in the two different households has been shopping separately, interacting with different people.

As soon as the lockdown is lifted she can come to you, but not in the meantime.

If she’s broken up with DP I’d also see that as extenuating circumstances (but I know some MNetters would disagree).

DrFosterPuddle · 02/04/2020 15:36

OP, people on here can be very zealous and militant when it comes to following the rules.

If there is a good reason why, absolutely go and get her!

It would be a good idea for you all to self-isolate for two weeks after she arrives, just in case any of you have been brewing something and pass it on to one another.

Good luck!