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Original poster

Picking DD up - urgent

318 replies

takedphome · 02/04/2020 14:42

DD23 lives in a town 2 hours away. She has been furloughed. We really want her back for her safety. She also desperately wants to come home to us (her parents and DSis). Can her DP drive her to us? What are the risks involved? She lives with her DP.

OP posts:
bespokepaininthearse · 02/04/2020 14:43

Why wouldn't she just stY with her dp? It seems weird that she wouldn't, she is surely just as safe there

Original poster
takedphome · 02/04/2020 14:44

She would rather be at home with us

OP posts:
Marmite27 · 02/04/2020 14:44

People who don’t live at your address are unable to visit your address.

Why is this so difficult for people to grasp!

No, she should stay where she is/was when lockdown started.

bespokepaininthearse · 02/04/2020 14:46

Then no, she shouldn't, there is no reason for her to. Households are not allowed to mix. What if they had an accident on the way? You would be pulling emergency services away from where they are vitally needed she cause she fancies going home 🙄 she's an adult she will be fine with her partner

twinnywinny14 · 02/04/2020 14:47

when was the last time she was outside and in a place where she could have caught it? (work/shopping etc) if she has picked it up then she could be infectious and bring it into to your house for all of you to catch, or pass to you and then you go to work/shopping and spread it to others. If she hasn't been anywhere for 14 days then she probably doesn't have it, but has her partner also been isolated 100% for 14 days, otherwise he might have passed it on to her. Similarly, if you or your family have been out working/shopping and caught it you could pass it to her when she arrives. That is why the government advice is don't mix households and stay at home - your own home.

Original poster
takedphome · 02/04/2020 14:48

Her home is legally our home

OP posts:
MrsWolf2 · 02/04/2020 14:48

Is she at risk from her partner?

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 02/04/2020 14:50

This is mad.

My daughter, a student has stayed where she is because that's what the rules are.

Ops daughter is with her partner, not even living on her own. If she comes home is she going to stay put, not seeing her partner for the duration of lockdown or will she want to go back again in a couple of weeks when she misses him?

560 people died in the UK, does this mean nothing op?

okiedokieme · 02/04/2020 14:50

It's ok to go and collect her but she then remains with you until it's over, though as she doesn't live alone it seems odd, is there more to it?

Marmite27 · 02/04/2020 14:52

As above, she needs to stay where she started lockdown.

This is why we’re going to be locked down for months and months, because everyone thinks they’re an exception.

Again, NO.

ChipotleBlessing · 02/04/2020 14:52

The rules actually say it is fine to permanently combine households for the lockdown period. This would come under that.

twinnywinny14 · 02/04/2020 14:52

@okiedokieme that is absolutely not ok. Anyone of these people could have it and pass it to the others, that is the point of keeping apart, to prevent the spread of it!

zelbazinnamon · 02/04/2020 14:52

So she would come home for the unspecified duration of this lockdown and not see her partner that whole time?

Original poster
takedphome · 02/04/2020 14:52

I won't go into the details but she wants to come home and stay home

OP posts:
ginswinger · 02/04/2020 14:53

NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
I understand you want her with you but the idea is we all now stay put and not spread the virus further. The NHS really needs you to follow this simple rule and it will be over much faster. Break the rule and we all suffer for longer. If she has it and no one really knows if they do as it can be asymptomatic, you could get it, or pass it to her.

Just no. Stay put, use Skype and follow the rules. They really do apply to you.

Macca84 · 02/04/2020 14:55

I'm sensing that there's some danger from her DP. IF this is the case, then please go and pick her up, and explain this to the police should they stop you. Escaping abuse is an essential journey.

EmmaOvary · 02/04/2020 14:55

Nope. People are dying, and still people are trying to bend the rules. It's hard on everyone but them's the breaks.

poppymatilda · 02/04/2020 14:55

She should stay in her existing household unless at risk there. You've alluded to this maybe being an issue so you'll need to take a view based on that.

Flaxmeadow · 02/04/2020 14:55

Her home is legally our home

The govt means household not legal home owner. The place where people dwell

TheGreyInThisCity · 02/04/2020 14:57

If she’s intending to stay at your house for the duration of the lockdown then I would absolutely go and get her. The risks are minimal.

stella1know · 02/04/2020 14:57

Pick her up but she has to stay with you for the duration of the lockdown. Sounds as if her health is at stake here. Her DP shouldnt visit. Make some excuse if he is insistent.

StormyClouds · 02/04/2020 14:59

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras

My daughter, a student has stayed where she is because that's what the rules are.

That's not actually true- the government have been clear that permanently combining households is fine.

The issue is with people being constantly in and out of multiple households and potentially catching and spreading the virus around each one.

Original poster
takedphome · 02/04/2020 15:00

Can someone please point me to where it says that permanently combining households is fine?

OP posts:
TokyoSushi · 02/04/2020 15:03

It sounds like there might be more to this than meets the eye, if your DD is unsafe/desperately unhappy with her DP then I'd bring her home. Once she is at yours though, she should stay there and not be going back and forth.

Aragog · 02/04/2020 15:03

If there are specific reasons which means she is more at risk where she is then it my well be necessary.

We had MIL move in with us last weekend.
We would have done it before but we were in isolation for 14 days.
A week before she was able to visit FIL who was seriously ill in hospital but then the rules changes and there was no visiting allowed unless his death was imminent. She would have been in her 70s, and whilst relatively healthy, still 'at risk' (though not most vulnerable getting the letter) due to her age and a heart issue and with no support system available to her whilst her husband was so poorly. So we moved her in - she drove to us, after our isolation ended and she'd had 7 days in isolation - though FIL tested negative for CV19 anyway.

I don't regret it at all. FIL died yesterday and there was no way she'd have coped alone though that and since. They also managed to visit FIL twice as the hospital moved him to a hospice to facilitate this easier.

We also have BIL here for two nights so he could visit his father when he died. He lives too far away to go home and back in a day. Again, he'd been self distancing very well for a fortnight prior, so tihs was deemed low risk even for the hospice, let alone our house. We will also see him and his family next week for the funeral - we can have 10 mourners.

Sometimes you have to weigh things up too. Its not always black and white.