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The first suicide

114 replies

Autumn29876 · 27/03/2020 20:00

This is really sad.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/nationalfile.com/amp/uk-teenager-commits-suicide-over-coronavirus-self-isolation-fears/

OP posts:
AnaphylacticAnnabelle · 27/03/2020 23:18

TheLady - I'm sorry you know this head space and thank you for posting a message.

I am mostly completely alone except child company so posts such as yours are much much appreciated. Take care

BeijingBikini · 27/03/2020 23:19

Just do whatever you need to do at this time if it will make you feel better - please take care of yourself. No point doing things for the "greater good" if you're not even around to see it.

AnaphylacticAnnabelle · 27/03/2020 23:20

Thelady - your dog is beautiful 😊

Autumnwindinthewillows · 27/03/2020 23:27

Thank you all for posting about not really caring if you get CV. I feel the same but it is impossible to say that in rl (except to my gorgeous ds who is my rock).
It is so good to know i am not alone and other people get how it feels
And thank you to the person who said a pp should see their DP if that is what it takes.
To me it would count as a medical reason and helps me because I plan to do the same this weekend - I so need a hug from dd and dh.

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 27/03/2020 23:33

Thank you all for posting about not really caring if you get CV

I think this has highlighted how badly we as a society deal with death. Personally I'm not bothered in the slightest. I've come close to dying once or twice already, including once gasping for breath, thinking each bit of air I managed to pull down into my lungs would be the last. Surviving that gave me ptsd. I can't help wondering if I'd have been better off dead.

SetMeFree40 · 27/03/2020 23:40

This is so so sad.
2manybloodypets
You really do matter 💐

2manybloodypets · 28/03/2020 00:47

Beautiful, caring people on MN. Thank you. ❤️

UYScuti · 28/03/2020 12:40

2many😊❤️
how's it going today?

Olliephaunt4eyes · 28/03/2020 12:47

@AnaphylacticAnnabelle - massive agree re Samaritans. I've had one amazing person who genuinely saved my life - she calmed me down and kept me sitting in a park talking until my husband could come and get me, but they really aren't always great and the last time I phoned the person I got was so useless I ended up taking an overdose largely as a result of my conversation with her - she just seemed to think I was melodramatic and wasting her time and none of my issues were real and the only problem was me not being able to deal with them sensibly. I don't think she meant to be that way, but I was in a full mixed manic episode at the time and a lot of what was freaking me out wasn't rational but it was very real to me.

I've not called them since. I think it's just too much of a gamble.

fantasmasgoria1 · 28/03/2020 12:57

2manybloodypets you are worth so much. Please don't givd up. I know things are difficult right now but hang in there. My mental health is declining due to all of this but I'm trying to distract myself by doing craft projects. I'm scared I'll start self harming again but I am trying so hard. It doesn't help when people say that we shouldn't be buying non essential items but I have bought a few things for projects because I have to try and keep my mental illness as stable as possible. Sending all my love to you.

2manybloodypets · 28/03/2020 14:35

Thank you @fantasmasgoria1 and everyone else who has sent messages of support and posted with their own thoughts. It is a tough time for all - I appreciate that.
Today is not much better - but I will keep hanging on in there. I hope everyone else is ok 💕

Oldhaggard · 28/03/2020 14:55

For me it's the opportunity to overthink that's causing the issue, which then starts the 'whats the point' feeling that leads to doing even less and thinking more.... With a full time job and a horse to care for I had to ignore my own head sometimes and deal with life, my horse is now turned out and we're not allowed at the stables (right choice imo, they're cared for so it's not essential we go) and work place closed.
I've sorted financial and practical issues as far as I can, that kept me occupied for a day or so, but now, well, I have time to sweat stuff I really don't need to be. And I then feel guilty about that because there's so much else going on in the world right now to worry about.
Have volunteered for NHS and local neighborhood schemes to help get supplies to people but obviously these things take time to process.
Also getting a lot less exercise than usual so that's having an impact too.

Got a friend hanging by a thread, and we've made a pact to promise each other to do one thing a day and not let each other down. Seems to be working so far, however small the achievement is.
If I got CV I'd stand a good chance of beating it, but I also could infect so many people before I know and that would weigh heavily on my mind.
A lot with mental health problems will struggle at the moment, but to me every single person has worth, is loved even if by a stranger on the internet (I hope that doesn't sound too creepy!) I wonder if mine and my friends promise thing may work on a larger scale? As in you promise the poster above you will do something and then do it, and post a pic (non id obviously) and then the next person does and so on? Might help.

TheLadyAnneNeville · 28/03/2020 17:13

@Oldhaggard... good idea. Like that.

@2manybloodypets, every day merges into one doesn’t it? I had to go into our little market town today to collect medication from Boots. Never have I been so happy to see the ladies behind the pharmacy counter! Just that 5 min little chat and a bit of “taking the mick” because I had my lippie/mascara and blush on and my pearl earrings (which my mum gave me and even though they’re a bit much for Saturday afternoon in Boots, SHE gave them to me before she died) and frankly, even in a world pandemic situation, there’s no need to go out unadorned 😉. It really cheered me up. Do your best to find even 5 mins to smile about something. Anything.

I recommend watching/reading something funny. My love of true crime drama and gritty thrillers has been put on a back burner for now. My Val McDermid book, untouched.

fantasmasgoria1 · 28/03/2020 18:54

Everyone has been really supportive of each other here which is awesome.

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